Creampuff Revolution

Sharpei Saturday Moves to Friday One Time Only, Also It's About Sled Dogs

As I've discussed many times here before, I get obsessed with things fairly easily and find myself going down various rabbit holes in pursuit of said obsession, which is why I'm watching Nurse Jackie right now, because after Godless and Unbelievable, I've become obsessed with Merritt Wever.

BTW, if anyone knows of a supercut of Merritt Wever's Godless scenes set to Sarah McLachlan music, please send it my way; otherwise I might have to make it myself and I'm terrible at editing.

Also, BTW, Godless is very violent and upsetting and Unbelievable was EXCELLENT but very hard to watch, so I'm advising my parents not to watch them.

Anyway, back to dogs. I became interested in sled dogs watching the documentary Ice Town: Life on the Edge, which you may remember from the time I got obsessed with Svalbard. And when I say "interested" I mean "that seems like an interesting thing to do that I will never do, one dog is plenty for me".

But I got full on obsessed earlier this year when musher Blair Braverman posted the cutest Twitter thread of all time about which of her dogs might be taking on the Iditarod this year. Click on the tweet and real the WHOLE THREAD and look at ALL THE PICTURES, I WILL WAIT.

Right now, we have 20 dogs in training for the Iditarod—and 14 pups will enter the actual race. Allow me to introduce you to the BraverMountain Varsity Team.

— Blair Braverman (@BlairBraverman) January 2, 2019

I'm not going to lie. I am INTO these #UglyDogs and whenever Blair (or "Bler", as the dogs call her) posts about them, I am rapt. My favourites are Helli and Grinch, who can only run south.

I want to tell you a story about Grinch.

— Blair Braverman (@BlairBraverman) October 11, 2018

And I am still laughing about the thread entitled Surprise Bitch! It's Boudica! 

On our long run the other day, Boudica got tired after 30 miles and rode in the barkbox the rest of the way. The next morning, when I went out to the dog yard, she wouldn’t come out of her house. What’s up? I asked her. pic.twitter.com/JwEwV0TalQ

— Blair Braverman (@BlairBraverman) December 12, 2018

That's all for now, if you like dogs and progressive politics, you would do well to give Ms. Braverman a follow. And if you're looking for a quick start to your own obsession, someone more obsessed than I has created a page with links to all of Blair Braverman and her husband Quince Mountain's best Twitter threads, YOU'RE WELCOME.

Creampuff's Dog's Not Super Bright

Effie is a fan of toys. She's not a real chewer or destroyer - she likes to run around with them, shake 'em like she's trying to kill them, wrestle us for them, occasionally, she'll take them to one of her three beds to give them a good mouthing.

What's hilarious to us is that, once she's done with the toy, she'll leave it on her bed and then, when she returns to her bed, the toy is still there and she's like "Oh shit, this toy is here on my bed." And then we're like "You brought it there. You moved it there, with your mouth. Just move it again and your bed will be clear!" and she goes "Nah, it's probably here for a reason, I'll just work around it" and then this happens:

I have no idea why she feels she can't just move the toys off her bed - or why she doesn't just lie down on the toys and reclaim her bed, because I'll tell you what, she has NO boundaries in OUR bed.

Weirdo.

Creampuff and Dog Were Fans

Like all good Canadians, I am a huge Spirit of the West fan. Save This House was the soundtrack of my youth. Home For a Rest was (and still is) the song that got everyone out on the dance floor at a family wedding. So when news of John Mann's passing hit my feed yesterday, I was very very sad. 

Since moving to Vancouver, I got to meet John Mann a handful of times; he played M. Thénardier in a local production of Les Miz and I got to fangrrrrl at him at the opening night party (he could not have been more gracious) and I was in a writing group with his fantastic wife Jill, so I saw them together at various events a few years after his diagnosis. But my favourite memory of him is this:

Back in 2013, Katr and I and our cantankerous pooch Emmy Lou went to Galliano Island for a small conference and John Mann was the featured performer. He gave a wonderful, intimate performance and it was a magical night. The next morning, I was waiting for Katr in the hotel lobby with our cranky-ass dog and John Mann walked in. He was immediately taken with Emmy Lou and started rubbing her wrinkled head. 

And she LET HIM.

Emmy Lou didn't really enjoy being touched. She ruined a lot of people's days by avoiding their attempts to pet her and barely tolerated physical affection from us, the people who fed and housed her.

But she was INTO John Mann. Like, looking lovingly into his eyes, trying to get her junkyard face close to his, her tail wagging gently. I could not believe it. But then again, I COULD believe it, because John Mann had this great energy and Emmy Lou was in thrall, like the rest of us.

This dog petting went on for several minutes and it was fucking adorable. 

I'm sorry I didn't get a photo of the moment but also not sorry, because sometimes you just need to remember things. But after it was over, I gave Emmy Lou an extra big treat for not embarrassing me in front of John Mann.

Rest in peace to the great John Mann. Katr and I loved you, Canada loved you and our crusty shar pei Emmy Lou loved you too. If you see her up there, please give her a rubbins from us.

Creampuff's Shar Pei Less Hippo-y Than Usual

Poor Effie sometimes gets the shar pei fever, an autoimmune disease where her hocks swell and she shivers and can't get comfortable and it's terrible. This is the second time she's had it this year, which isn't TOO bad; some shar peis get it a lot more frequently and a lot worse.

We took her to the vet recently, so we knew there wasn't some horrible underlying condition causing the fever. But it is, hilariously, often brought on by stress and, while nothing TOO crazy has been going on here at Casa Creampuff, the time change plus a few sets of dinner guests must have put her over the edge.

Someone's dog is a delicate flower.

Sunday morning, I was walking her and realized, a half hour in to our hour long walk, at the furthest point away from the house, the fever was upon us. Effie slows down to senior speed when she gets sick, so it took us over 45 minutes to get home. She spent the rest of the day pretty zonked out after we gave her some medication and before long, she was on the mend but still very slow for a few days. 

I'd rather she wasn't sick but I won't lie, once she's over the worst, it is very relaxing; she's so chill in the house, doesn't give a rat's ass about other dogs or noises outside, still loves to walk but just real slow. My dream is that this is how she'll be as a senior.

By far the most upsetting thing about the fever, though, is that a few days after she recovers, her beautiful hippo face shrinks and she looks like an idiot.

It took several weeks for her snoot to puff back up after she was sick in April - send fat thoughts to our little pudge!!!

Sharpei Saturday Outtakes

Katr, Drtr, Effie's various staff and I all strive to take beautiful photos of Effie, our precious wrinklebean. And sometimes...we fail.

Lookin' ruff as hell

TOO CLOSE

Flashing the titties

WHAT THE FUCK

Sharpei Sunday Urban Photo Shoot

Sometimes, Effie likes to stroll around Gastown and give the city folk a thrill. Here she is, posing with the famous Steam Clock.

"DAMN, I look good in front of murals."

"You didn't want to sit here, did you?"

Being an urban puppy is exhausting.

Shar Pei Sunday Rides Again

I laughed so hard last week after I posted that Effie is "so good" at the park and it's "less stressful" for me and the day after my post, she got chomped in the park by a coonhound named Daisy.

JESUS.

Fortunately, the wound wasn't vet-worthy, although we DID happen to have a vet appointment on Friday, so that worked out.

Our vet appointment was a general wellness exam, plus we had some allergy questions but honestly, top of mind for me was that one of our dog walkers thought that Effie was getting fat.

I paraphrase.

Effie has been pretty lithe for a shar pei but since her last vet visit in January, it turns out that she's gained six pounds.

SOME of that MIGHT be continued growing (she just turned three) but the rest of it was a mystery. She gets a ton of exercise and eats million-dollar raw food and OMG WE'RE SO FAT WE CAN'T HAVE A FAT DOG WE GET JUDGED ENOUGH FUCK

Kind Dr. V agreed that Effie was a "scooch" overweight but nothing serious. He wants to see her lose 2lbs over the next couple of months. For allergy reasons, we're adjusting her diet anyway, so the weight will probably take care of itself. But if not, she may just sweat the weight off, because I am not taking her to the off-leash park without a protective raincoat for the foreseeable future.

CHOMP THROUGH THIS, DAISY, you long eared fuckface.

 

 

Creampuff Missed Yesterday but Today is for Shar Pei

Effie has really seen some shit this year; waaaay back in January, Effie was out for a pre-dawn walk with Drtr. Some dipshit opened her front gate and her off-leash dog ran down the sidewalk, bit a huge hole in Effie's side and then ran back to his owner.

Effie didn't even have time to react and she seemed unfazed - plus, it was dark - so it wasn't until Drtr got home and we saw the dog in the light that the big bleeding rip in her side become evident. I nearly barfed and fainted simultaneously.

I will spare you the gory photos of the dog's open wounds but here is the aftermath a couple of weeks into healing:

Thank fuck for pot brownies.

Fortunately, Drtr had seen where the dog owner lived. So, after we spent all ding dong day at the vet (partly because Effie WOULD NOT succumb to the sedation and spent nearly two hours determinedly lurching around in an exam room after several injections), Krtr and I were able to write an strongly worded letter to the dog owner. We told the owner that  the vet suggested we report the incident to the cops, because the injury was so serious. We also enclosed photos of the Effie's injuries. And the $1000 vet bill.

Furious and spoiling for a fight, we braced ourselves for a response from the dog owner. I spent several hours having angry hypothetical conversations with this woman. What was she THINKING? What is WRONG with her DOG? SHE WOULD PAY THEY WOULD BOTH PAY.

In the end, our righteous anger was diffused by the fact that the dog owner contacted us right away. She apologized profusely for being so careless and said she just hadn't been thinking when she let her dog out. She explained that her dog had become more protective of the house since they had a baby. She agreed, sans fuss, the pay the entire vet bill... and then she DID.

I almost felt bad for calling the police on her. Then I looked at our heavily sedated puppy, with the drainage tube sticking out of her side, and ceased to "almost feel bad". Because my poor sweet little dog was FUCKED UP. 

I've never had dealings with Vancouver Animal Control, except when they refused to control various animals in our neighbourhood because apparently they don't wrangle skunks or crows here.

This dog thing was different. We filled out a report online and within the day, we had a call from Animal Control and an appointment with an Animal Control officer. She came over to interview Drtr and check out Effie's injuries and give her some lovin'. Then she went over to the dog owner's house, interviewed them and issued them a $250 ticket for having their dog off-leash on the sidewalk. Justice was swift and very satisfying. Thanks, City of Vancouver!

We had several more trips to the vet for drainage tube removal and stitches removal and Effie had to wear a raincoat for weeks, rain or shine, while her fur grew back. Good thing she's adorable in pink.

When we told folks Effie had been injured, they assumed she'd gotten into a scrap at the park instead of being attacked on the street for no reason - and that was a fair assumption. Effie a very rough and tumble gal. After almost every visit to the off-leash park, she comes home with some kind of minor injury, either from enthusiastic play or trying to initiate play too enthusiastically and being brutally rebuffed.

Effie never holds a grudge. But I was still nervous that, after several weeks of healing and not having any time off-leash, Effie might be nervous and weird about gambolling about with other canines. I wanted her to be more cautious so that she didn't get bit on the fuckin' face so often but I didn't want her to lose her joie de vivre.

Fortunately, I got exactly what I wanted. Once she was ready to be set loose again, Effie had matured a little bit in the off-leash department and it's been a delight. She's a little more cautious now about approaching other dogs at a sprint; and, if she gets the "no thank you", she's become very good at just moving on, which makes our park visits a lot less stressful for moi.

Good girl.

Creampuff Enjoys This Year's First Shar Pei Saturday

I realize that Shar Pei Saturday is a bit of a NaBloPoMo cop-out but I'm sure we all need a breather from my relentless bon mots.

But IF NOT, you should know that my blogging friend Solitary Diner is also attempting NaBloPoMo again this year and she is a thoughtful, funny, interesting delight of a human, PLUS, Anthony Bourdain replied to one of her tweets one time, so she is already WAAAAY cooler than I. Definitely check out her blog, okay, no pressure SD.

It feels kind of nutso how the last three years with Effie have raced by. We've gone from this sweet little wrinkle:

to this total fuckin' bad-ass:

FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME

Here she is with her handsome ride or die pal, Opie, just takin' a breather before they resume their wrasslin':

 

Good dogs.

Creampuff Invites You to Join Her For The One Month Per Year That She Deigns to Blog

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HI GUYS!!

Welp, it’s fucking November again and I have to say, I REALLY thought I was going to blog more this year and MORE THAN ONCE I was like “Ooo, I could blog about this event/photo/super deep thought I’m having” and did I? Fuck no.

Welcome to NaBloPoMo 2018!