As I mentioned in my 50 x 50 Accomplishments post, I watched 83 new things last year, but that wasn't counting the French shows I watched, so I actually watched 88 new-to-me tv shows, movies and documentaries. The rules were:
- New means new: New seasons of shows I had already watched did not count. But film sequels to franchises I was familiar with did count.
- One episode minimum: I didn't have to watch the whole series, a single episode counted.
To write this post, I obviously went to my list and was shocked at how many titles rang ZERO BELLS. I'd blame my perimenopausal memory but honestly, there's a lot of unmemorable things out there and I watched several of them last year.
What follows are my pert opinions about the shows and movies I DO remember watching. Keep in mind that we are DIFFERENT PEOPLE and it's okay if we like DIFFERENT THINGS. Also, I love sci-fi but we only watched one sci-fi thing last year and it didn't make this list. Also, a very dude-heavy year of viewing, interesting.
Favourite game show: The Floor (Fox). Oh guys, it's so fun. They start with 100 people of varying ages and from varying walks of life. Each person occupies one of 100 spots on the floor and they get randomly chosen to "duel" each other in "expert categories" that the contestants have chosen for themselves. The expert categories can be anything from "The Periodic Table" to "Pizza Toppings". When one person is defeated, the victor takes over their piece of the floor and whomever has all 100 pieces at the end wins $250,000. Rob Lowe is the host. This show makes you feel both smart AND stupid and encourages yelling out the answers and judging people, 5 stars.
Favourite reality show: Finding Mr. Christmas (Hallmark). A group of hunky guys who aspire to Hallmark stud stardom compete in a series of Christmas-themed and acting challenges to win a starring role in a Hallmark Christmas movie. Fan favourite homo Jonathan Bennett hosts. Everything about this is genius: the concept AND the execution. The topless photo shoots with puppies. The dramatic ice skating acting challenges. The guys all being so supportive of each other. Highly enjoyable, would watch another season, 5 stars.
Least favourite reality show: Beast Games (Amazon Prime), Jesus Christ. I was unfamiliar with charisma-free YouTube bro Mr. Beast and instantly hated him and his squad of equally shitty frat bros in hoodies and blazers, but what I hated more was the format of the show, where one winner out of a thousand contestants wins $5 million dollars. Not knowing Mr. Beast's schtick, I assumed the prize(s) would be won based on actual physical and mental challenges, like on Amazing Race, for example. But the show was maybe 10% actual challenges, 40% fucked up social experiments and psychological torture that brought out the worst of humanity and 50% talking about it. Crucial question, did we watch to the end? YES, because it was like when you start a scary episode of FBI, you need closure! But will we ever watch another season? Nerp.
Favourite Hallmark-style Christmas movie: The Santa Class (Hallmark). This movie had everything: a failing Santa academy, a RIVAL Santa Academy, the REAL SANTA CLAUS, a Hallmark actor playing a ridiculous version of HIMSELF and, of course, ROMANCE. 5 stars.
Least favourite Hallmark-style Christmas movie: Happy Howlidays (Hallmark). I was sad that this blew, because it starred the winner of Finding Mr. Christmas, who was very handsome but not good and unfortunately his co-star, who is also very beautiful, is one of those actors who you can just tell has no sense of humour in real life. The story made no sense, but not in a fun way. The dogs were cute though.
Favourite stand-up special: NONE. We watched several stand-up specials this year from some of our favourite comedians and it felt like they were all stretching MAYBE 20 minutes of actual content into an hour with mugging and repetition. Write some more actual jokes, you lazy fucks, this isn't TikTok.
Favourite French show: L'Agence (Netflix). This reality series about a family of luxury real estate agents in Paris was the perfect lunchtime treat, an excellent balance of over-the-top unattainable luxury real estate, a little family drama and easy-to-follow French. After 5 seasons, I don't know if my overall French has improved but I DO think I could specifically get a job as a luxury real estate agent in Paris because I can go on and on about the moulures (mouldings), hauteur sur plafond (ceiling height) and the vues dégagées (unobstructed views).
Least favourite French show: Gone for Good (Netflix). Typical Harlan Coben convoluted/make-no-sense schlock and that's not a knock, I enjoy me some Harlan, but the lead looked like live-action Beavis and I couldn't get past it.
Favourite Documentary: Pop Star Academy (Netflix). A group of young women with deeply varying levels of dance and vocal talent train (and compete) to be part of the first "global" K-Pop group, KATSEYE. I would have DIED over this as a tween, with the dancing and the singing and the ANGST and the FURY when the one girl you HATE makes it into the group even though she doesn't WORK as hard as the other girls and doesn't DESERVE IT, OMG. Also kind of a fascinating/terrifying look at the behind-the-scenes of these training programs.
Least Favourite Documentary: Ren Faire (Crave), we DNF'd after one episode, the old guy was just too gross.
Favourite network procedural: Will Trent (ABC/Disney). It is perhaps unfair to list this as my favourite from last year because I feel my love for it was cemented during the most recent season but whatever, it's my blog, I can do what I want. Will Trent is a strait-laced, dyslexic special agent with the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. He is dapper, he has a chihuahua named Betty and he has a troubled past. I found the first season a little darker than I expected but somewhere in the second season, it's like they let their one funny writer get some jokes in and now it's a compelling mix of cop-aganda, humour and heartwarming/heart-wrenching personal story lines, also, would die for Betty in her little sweaters, 5 stars.
Least favourite network procedural: Dr. Odyssey (ABC/Disney). I have a love-hate thing with Ryan Murphy, in that I love to hate him, but he does produce two of my favourite procedurals, 9-1-1 and 9-1-1 Lone Star, so we gave this "ship's doctor on a luxury cruise ship" show a try. Katr was more forgiving of its foibles but its inconsistencies, crashingly boring "plot" lines and utterly ridiculous gold-plated "medical" equipment filled me with bile. Or I should say "fills me", because we are somehow STILL WATCHING IT, thank god it was NOT RENEWED.
Favourite comedy series: Man on the Inside (Netflix). This was so fucking charming I could not stand it. Widowed and retired Ted Danson is urged by his daughter to go out and connect with the world, so he lands a job going undercover at a retirement home to catch a thief. Antics and personal growth ensue, Sally Struthers is in it, 5 stars.
Favourite movie: We watched a lot of movies and most of my notes on them were "forgettable". But you know what I won't forget? Under Paris (Netflix). A big shark is loose. In Paris. It is not an intentional comedy but it might be the most joyfully stupid movie I have ever seen, take a pot gummy and just let it happen, 5 stars. Also, these alternative title and poster options were hilarious.
Least favourite movie: Lots of contenders for this one but the prize goes to the unwatchable Then Came You (Netflix), written by and starring Kathie Lee Gifford. I mean, good on K-Giff for giving writing a try but not even charming Craig Ferguson could convince us to keep watching this festering turd, DNF about 40 minutes in.
Favourite weird show we were surprised we liked: Bad Monkey (Apple TV). A disgraced detective turned restaurant inspector gets pulled into a weird murder case and can't let it go. I love crime shows...I love comedy; this one delivered on both counts and didn't tip too far in either direction, IMHO. I will say that if you don't like Vince Vaughn, don't watch it because he's the lead and it's him being Vince Vaughn in Florida, trying to figure out whose severed arm this is.
Honourable mentions: Kaos (Netflix, RIP) I don't usually like anything where "the gods" are characters but I am sad this didn't get renewed for a second season, it was interesting and made me feel smart for remembering so much of the Greek shit I learned in theatre school.
Well, now you know I have pretty pedestrian taste in entertainment but I am 50 now and don't feel the need to pretend to like things that are depressing or "too real", 0 stars. But I am, ALWAYS, open to suggestions for viewing, if you made it this far, leave your faves in the comments!
