This year in Rosewood Cross, I decided to visit some of the more residential neighbourhoods. On the upper shelf is Rosecroft Lane, where the rich people live and send their children to private school.
This is Scrooge's nephew Fred's place. Fred is a sweet guy who always invites his jerky uncle to share the holidays and every year Scrooge is like "Fuck that shit" and Fred is secretly relieved, because he's pretty sure his uncle is the one who clogged up Fred's brand new flush toilet the one time he came over.
Outside Howard Row houses, Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds get coffee from a cart because their cook, Sophie, ran off with some ne'er do well a week ago and now they're fucked for hot beverages.
The coffee cart operator seems a little nervous and spills some coffee on the ground.
Mr. Reynolds jokes to Mrs. Reynolds that the coffee cart fellow's hands are shaking at her beauty.
And he's not far off.
Because the coffee cart operator is actually their cook Sophie, who left their house because she'd fallen for Mrs. Reynolds.
Sophie and Mrs. Reynolds used up all the parsnips in the pantry but in her heart, Sophie knew pillow princess Mrs. Reynolds would never leave her rich husband, who supports her jewelry-making business. Heartbroken, but determined, Sophie stole away in the night, borrowed her brother's clothes and started her own small business. What was Sophie thinking bringing the cart to back to this neighbourhood? Hoping to catch a glimpse of her beloved? Or is she just terrible with directions, like her brother Jolly Roger, who's just been discharged from the Navy?
The nuns who run the boarding school step outside for some al fresco singing and a hushed discussion about whether they should tell the Mother Superior about their polyamorous triad.
On the lower shelf is Sweet Street, where the Scrooge's long suffering employee Bob Crachit lives with his family.
In the front window, you can see Mrs. Crachit setting the table for Christmas dinner and yelling at Tiny Tim, who has used up the family's internet plan uploading ASMR videos of him sanding his crutches to YouTube. "How the fuck am I supposed to get that plum pudding recipe off Pinterest now, Tim?"
All kidding aside, this is a new piece in my collection and I am OBSESSED with it. The detail is AMAZING. The Crachits!!
Next door to the Crachits is Lomas Molasses and Treacle, which give Sweet Street its name.
As is her tradition, Mrs. Lomas is outside selling delicious figgy puddings to her neighbours. If you use the password - "Spotted Dick" - Mrs. Lomas will give you a pudding from the back of the booth that has weed in it.
Down the street from Lomas Molasses, for the right price, Billy Marsden will give you a Pickwick Club paper and the password for the weed pudding, so try not to look like a narc. Top hat guy - definitely a narc.
Potter and Yang's Tea Shop is a recent addition to Sweet Street, so you'd think the young lady out front would be giving out tea samples. But she's actually a local parfumier whom Potter and Yang have brought in to raise the tone.
"Oh, Mrs. Cartwright," says Julia the parfumier, "this scent is just heavenly on you."
She leans in.
"But your natural scent might be even more beguiling."
Mrs. Cartwright smiles a slow smile.
