I was at the bank this afternoon and, after our business was concluded, the teller leaned forward conspiratorially, like she was about to tell me that she was being held captive or that one of my boobs was out. I leaned in too.
"I have lost, like, four of those this week, " she said, pointing at the poppy I had pinned to my sweater, "how are you keeping that pinned...ON A SWEATER? Did you run the pin through your bra?"
"Ah," I said, nodding sagely, "I too have known the pain of a lost poppy. But let me show you how I keep this on."
I flipped up my poppy and showed her my secret; a tiny piece of rubber band.
"Here's what you do," I went on, removing my poppy to demonstrate my technique, "You take a flat rubber band. You cut a little piece out of it. And then - and this is key - after you put your poppy on, stick the end of the pin THROUGH THE RUBBER BAND."
She looked at me like I had just solved world hunger.
"And that stops it from poking you?"
"Oh no. No, you can still experience a righteous poking. But it will STAY ON."
"Aaaaah."
"Of course," I said, really warming up to the subject, "the key part of this plan is that you don't lose the poppy between the point of purchase and your house but if you were REALLY on top of things, you could just carry a tiny bit of elastic in your pocket this time of year."
I could tell I was losing her at this point, plus the lady who wears her headphones and sings Neil Diamond full blast had just come in, so I took my various receipts and left.
Anyway, since I shared the lifehack I am most proud of with the teller at my bank, I thought I'd share it with you all too YOU'RE WELCOME CANADA. I'll see you and your securely fastened poppies on Monday.
