As I mentioned yesterday, I had a little more on my urban planning plate with the village this year and a little less time to make it happen. Urban planning always starts in bed.
Last year, I chose to feature the bustling high street of Wintersea, with its new pub, the molasses factory, Stratford Pies and Tarts and various horny vendors with lengthy backstories.
This year, the Wintersea vignette is showcasing the residential areas of the town, but the rich area, with the fancy houses and the park. As usual, my photos are a little ass.
The Misty Point Park at the bottom right of Wintersea hasn't had an outing in a few years. You can fill it with water and there's a teeny tiny fog machine in it that produces sexay holiday mist. The only catch is that it leaks, so now I just stuff it with "snow". But it's still a great gathering place for the neighbourhood to be subjected to Sir Edward Shaftbury's insistent baritone. As usual, he is surrounded by his forbearing neighbours and is accompanied by the Ladies Auxiliary Brass Band, to whom he pays a pittance.
The euphonium player did not want her face shown. And I don't blame her.
The music isn't ruining the romantic mood of Charles and Anna, who are canoodling down the hill from the park, just out of sight.
Charles is playing it coy with the mistletoe, but what you can't tell from the picture is that his schlong is already out.
Fortunately, none of the servants are watching from the front window of Anna's house. But no Christmas blowie for Charles, Anna is a lady.
Things are a little more innocent up at Mulberry Court, where little Susan and her brother Tiberius are having a little snowball fight. What Tiberius doesn't know is that Susan hid dog shit in the snowballs! Won't Nanny be annoyed!
A new feature at Mulberry Court: a Little Free Library!
The resident of Number 5 Mulberry Court, Lady Langostine, was vociferously against putting the LFL near her door, because she thought it might invite the wrong element (i.e. poor people) into the neighbourhood, but she has come around. Mainly because Mrs. Muldoon's cook has been leaving all of her spicy novels in there. Lady Langostine's husband was very surprised the other night when, out of the blue, Lady Langostine grabbed his todger and SEEMED TO SUDDENLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
You know who's NOT getting any in Wintersea this holiday season? Kevin, who lights the light by the water tower.
Technically, Kevin works for Sir Edward Shaftsbury and not the municipality, but when the previous lamplighter got caught defecating in the gazebo in Misty Point Park, Sir Edward volunteered Kevin for the job. Kevin doesn't mind; he thinks the water tower is beautiful and spends a lot of time contemplating its twin phalluses towers. Kevin might be gay.
Well, that's it for Wintersea this year. Stay tuned for the exciting new buildings (and wildlife) of Rosewood Cross!
