Creampuff Revolution

A Final Creampuff #TBT...FOR NOW

I have loved doing NaBloPoMo every year but maybe this wasn't the best month for it. Just way too much other fun stuff going on and not enough time for the kind of  inspiring, uplifting content I know all three of you come for. I had a whole list of things I was going to blog about this month and just didn't really have time. But MAYBE that means I'll actually use my blog at OTHER TIMES this year! It could happen!

Anyway, one of the things I wanted to write about involved yet another story about my grandfather's slide collection and how at one point, he and my grandmother traveled to Northern Ireland, where I have also been and took pictures at places I have been. That's a longer post but here's a tease - a photo of my grandmother Jero at the Giant's Causeway, about 30 years before I was there.

I don't look a lot like my grandmother Jero and she passed away when I was only about five, but I recognize this expression because I see it in the mirror ALL THE TIME. Genetics!

Festive Creampuff

It's Christmas wreath season, motherfuckers! And as is our tradition at the end of November, we went out to the Wreath Sale at the UBC Botanical Garden to pick out a festive look for our front door.

As usual, there was a keen selection to choose from:

But in the end, it came down to this one:

Versus this one:

SCROLL TO THE END TO SEE WHICH ONE WE CHOSE #clickbait

We were also charmed by this little bird in the basket. Because if you want to get me to buy something, stick a bird on it.

On the way home, we also hit up Home Depot for our usual front door display. But I got sidetracked by this UNICORN ARMY OMG WTF

Safely at home, we got our front door looking suitably festive. I like the potted evergreens with the birch sticking out of them, because in previous years, they had a single birch log sticking out of it, with a bow on it, which kind of ended up looking like "Welcome to my Christmas dick!" This year, we kept it classy.

Next year, though, you'll be greeted at our door by this:

Creampuff Reviews Bernat Baby Blanket Stripes Yarn

Back in the summer, the good folks at YarnCanada.ca asked me if I'd like to review their new Bernat Baby Blanket Stripes Yarn.

The yarn comes in eight different colourways, including some lovely gender neutral options. They included a free pattern that looked very doable for a slow-ass knitter like myself.

I had just discovered that my friend Kajo was with child and since she is also a knitter, I thought that I would like to knit something for her new bairn, since I totally missed out on knitting for the first one.

Free yarn? Easy pattern? Baby to knit for?

SIGN ME UP.

I chose the "Sunshine" colourway, because I knew knitting this thing would take me into the winter and the kid would probably be depressed by all the rain by then. Yarn Canada mailed me three delicious cakes of soft, cuddly yarn and I was good to go.

The Kiddie Korners Knit Blankie pattern was perfectly set up to use all three cakes of squooshy yarn. But here's the thing. I have a paucity of needles and the pattern called for 8mm needles.

The yarn is very bulky and I'm a tight knitter (or a TOIGHT knitter, as Jake Peralta would say), so I figured it would be okay to use my 10mm needles instead. And it WAS okay, except for that I went through the yarn more quickly because that's how bigger needles work, so I ran out of yarn before I finished the blanket and had to buy a fourth cake. Of course, I ordered it from Yarn Canada whom, in case you haven't noticed, I heartily endorse.

After I finished the blanket, it turned out...pretty big. I put a penny on it, for scale.

See if you can spot it.

You could probably get more than one baby in this thing, if you wanted, just sayin'. Or a plus size lesbian.

I really enjoyed this knit that took me a long time in the heat of summer. The colours were fun and the joy of self-striping yarn is that, when you are getting bored with an easy pattern, you have a new colour to look forward too.

This is really the perfect time of year to enjoy this fuzzy, snuggly yarn. I probably wouldn't have bought it for myself but having knit with it, I would certainly get it again for a fun, chunky knit that is also machine washable and dryable, in case your baby spits up or you spill guacamole on it. 

Kajo - I know we haven't talked since April but congratulations on your new baby! I knit him this blanket! Let's get together before he goes to college.

Creampuff Goes to the Dogs

I feel like I'm really falling down on the "actual content" side of NaBloPoMo this year. Am I busier? Am I less inspired? Am I too busy ogling my incredibly gorgeous Dickens Village?

Anyway, here's a photo of a corgi my grandpa took in England in the 1960s.

Sharpei Sunday Urban Photo Shoot

Sometimes, Effie likes to stroll around Gastown and give the city folk a thrill. Here she is, posing with the famous Steam Clock.

"DAMN, I look good in front of murals."

"You didn't want to sit here, did you?"

Being an urban puppy is exhausting.

Creampuff's 2018 Dickens Village Part Trois: Diagon Alley!!!!!11!!!

When I heard that Department 56, purveyors of my beloved Dickens Village, were introducing new Harry Potter Village pieces this year, I totally lost my shit. Not only am I a HUGE Harry Potter fan, but the style of the Harry Potter pieces is very in keeping with my preferred Village, i.e. Dickens Village. It's like I've been PLANNING THIS FROM THE START.

Usually I give Katr (and her alter ego, Master Potts)  free reign on building choices and I remain in blissful ignorance and enjoy being surprised, but once Department 56 made their Harry Potter announcement, I knew we would have to coordinate.

There are only three building options for the Harry Potter village this year: Hogwarts Castle (waaaay too big), Hagrid's hut (too hutlike, plus Katr doesn't dig on Hagrid for various reasons) and the PERFECT building for a Village nerd trying to recreate Diagon Alley: OLIVANDERS WAND SHOP. And on Friday, I GOT IT OMG. I plugged it in and LUMOS!

Ooo, let's see it from another angle!

Aaaaaaah. The little wand boxes in the window! The little sign with the wand and the O! Love.

Now, Ollivander's is not the only Harry Potter item in Diagon Alley. Katr also made sure that I had a few accessories to really give it an authentic feel. The only problem with the Harry Potter village accessories is that I can't make up dirty stories about the characters because they're just kids and I never got into Harry Potter slash fic. But the lady in the background with the birds is definitely sleeping with Tom, who runs the Leaky Cauldron. The birds like to watch.

Here, Dumbledore cautions Harry about excessive manspreading when he's doing spells.

Nearby, Hermione and Ron practise their spells on Scabbers, who looks like he's been gored pretty bad. Episkey!

As I said, the Harry Potter style is very similar to the Dickens Village style, so when it came to choosing the other two buildings for my Diagon Alley vignette, I had a few options.

PLUS, in a couple of other prescient moves, my friend Chpl sent me the Lily Bros. Gazing Balls shop for my birthday a few years back - an obvious hang-out for Professor Trelawney.

And last year, for some completely unfathomable and therefore delightful reason, my friend Jech included a dragon in my box of Christmas goodies. HOW DID THEY KNOW

I like the idea that the dragon has just escaped from Gringotts and is hitting up the crystal ball shop to decide what to do next.

The final building in Diagon Alley - for NOW - is Fagin's Hideaway. Katr got Fagin's Hideaway real cheap along with some other lovely building several years ago now and because it has a bit of a rough and tumble vibe, I've never really found a place for it in my village. But this year, I thought that Fagin is probably the Muggle most likely to have his spot staked out in Knockturn Alley.

Out in front of Fagin's is a kid selling the Daily Prophet to some dude who is clearly a total douche. I mean, just look at this kid's face.

 

 On the other side of Fagin's is the chestnut seller, but because this is Diagon Alley, probably the chestnuts have fangs.

 And here, finally, is Rosewood Cross in all of its two-shelf glory!

 I'm so happy.

Creampuff Blames It On The Danes

Welp, I missed another Friday and you can blame it on the Danes. I'm sure that no one reading this watches The Last Kingdom but if you do and you haven't started Season 3 yet, DO IT, IT IS SO GOOD SO FAR OMG THE DANES

 

Creampuff Kingdoms

Two things have happened this week that have seriously hampered my ability to get shit done.

1. Ironside Games released their new game Kingdom Rush: Vengeance.

I complained last year about how I didn't have enough dumb games to play and part of that was because it had been SOOO long since there was a new Kingdom Rush. Kingdom Rush is my favourite iPad tower defence game. There are three of them already - Original, Frontiers and Origins and they are all super gorgeous to look at, super fun to play and full of clever little pop culture references. Vengeance is the fourth Kingdom Rush and it came out TODAY OMG SEE YA

2. The Last Kingdom Season 3 just showed up on Netflix.

I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a little heterosexual for Uhtred of Bebbanburg.

This show is set in the 800s and it's about Saxons vs. Vikings, or "The Danes" as they're called in The Last Kingdom (is there a difference between the Vikings and the Danes? I don't care enough to look it up, if you're passionate about it, let me have it in the comments).

Uhtred was born a Saxon, was raised a Dane and now forms a bit of a bridge between the two, plus he is trying to reclaim his birthright, the throne of Bebbanburg, which his uncle stole from him when he was a child.

I don't know if I'd recommend this show to anyone I know, honestly, because it's violent and has a lot of dudes in it. I don't even know why I like it so much but I REALLY DO and also, in one season, one of Uhtred's sidekicks is a kick-ass warrior nun named Hild OH HERE SHE IS NOW HELLO

The Last Kingdom is less rape-y than Game of Thrones (or it has been, up to now, I can't speak for Season 3) and also, while bad things happen to the good guys, bad things happen to the bad guys with equal frequency, so you don't feel like Uhtred just spends every episode getting kicked in the knards. Fun!

(As a side note, I watched part of the first season of the show Vikings and I got all excited when they were about to land in England for the first time. But I suddenly realized "Wait - this isn't Star Trek: TNG - these guys aren't excited to learn about new cultures or open diplomatic channels. They're just going to fucking kill everybody and take their shit." And they did! I didn't watch much more of it. Good times.)

What will I do first??? Play Kingdom Rush? WATCH The Last Kingdom? HISTORY WILL DECIDE.

Creampuff's 2018 Dickens Village Part Deux: Rosewood Cross

This year, I chose to show a different side of Rosewood Cross. A softer side. A side where ladies go to be...in the company of other ladies. I give you...Beaver Mews.

No one's schlong is out in Beaver Mews, just sayin'.

The new piece for my village this year is the Nine Ladies Dance Conservatory!! Established earlier in the century by dance (and dancer) enthusiast, the Duchess of Marylebone, the school accepts nine willing, nubile young ladies every year for ... dance training.

The dancers are accompanied by resident violinist Magda, who really knows how to work the strings! Just, like, such magic fingers and REALLY nice hands. Sadly for many a love-lorn dancer, Magda prefers the plum duff of Helena, who runs the tea cart. 

Though she is regularly upbraided by her employer, Mrs. Brimm, for choosing a location with little traffic, Helena often sets up the tea cart within earshot of the Nine Ladies, so that she can hum along with Magda's adagios and dream about rosining Magda's bow in their flat above Mrs. Brimm's Tea Room.

When a lady needs some tea and crumpets and doesn't want to deal with nuts, she goes to Mrs. Brimm's. Best brunch in town and Mrs. Brimm also gives seminars on power dynamics in the back room on Monday nights, for the shy but determined D/s crowd.

 When dancers from the Nine Ladies Conservatory graduate, their dream is to perform for the roaring crowd in the cabaret upstairs at the Piccadilly Gallery. The Gallery is full of dark corners, for doing dark deeds and many ladies leave there with their skirts a-quiver.

On your way home from the show with your sweetheart? Why not buy a posy from Eliza? Her name is Doolittle, but Eliza actually does... A LOT. If you know what I mean. And I think that you do. Because it is not a subtle joke.

Now, if you look REAL close at the last photo, you might notice there's a dragon in the lower right hand corner. What is up with the dragon? Whence the dragon, Roro? Well, STAY TUNED, because this non-stop village thrill ride HAS A PART THREE THIS YEAR OMG.

Creampuff's 2018 Dickens Village Part Un: Wintersea

As I mentioned yesterday, I had a little more on my urban planning plate with the village this year and a little less time to make it happen. Urban planning always starts in bed.

 

Last year, I chose to feature the bustling high street of Wintersea, with its new pub, the molasses factory, Stratford Pies and Tarts and various horny vendors with lengthy backstories.

This year, the Wintersea vignette is showcasing the residential areas of the town, but the rich area, with the fancy houses and the park. As usual, my photos are a little ass.

 The Misty Point Park at the bottom right of Wintersea hasn't had an outing in a few years. You can fill it with water and there's a teeny tiny fog machine in it that produces sexay holiday mist. The only catch is that it leaks, so now I just stuff it with "snow". But it's still a great gathering place for the neighbourhood to be subjected to Sir Edward Shaftbury's insistent baritone. As usual, he is surrounded by his forbearing neighbours and is accompanied by the Ladies Auxiliary Brass Band, to whom he pays a pittance.

The euphonium player did not want her face shown. And I don't blame her.

The music isn't ruining the romantic mood of Charles and Anna, who are canoodling down the hill from the park, just out of sight.

Charles is playing it coy with the mistletoe, but what you can't tell from the picture is that his schlong is already out.

 Fortunately, none of the servants are watching from the front window of Anna's house. But no Christmas blowie for Charles, Anna is a lady.

Things are a little more innocent up at Mulberry Court, where little Susan and her brother Tiberius are having a little snowball fight. What Tiberius doesn't know is that Susan hid dog shit in the snowballs! Won't Nanny be annoyed!

A new feature at Mulberry Court: a Little Free Library!

The resident of Number 5 Mulberry Court, Lady Langostine, was vociferously against putting the LFL near her door, because she thought it might invite the wrong element (i.e. poor people) into the neighbourhood, but she has come around. Mainly because Mrs. Muldoon's cook has been leaving all of her spicy novels in there. Lady Langostine's husband was very surprised the other night when, out of the blue, Lady Langostine grabbed his todger and SEEMED TO SUDDENLY KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT.

You know who's NOT getting any in Wintersea this holiday season? Kevin, who lights the light by the water tower.

Technically, Kevin works for Sir Edward Shaftsbury and not the municipality, but when the previous lamplighter got caught defecating in the gazebo in Misty Point Park, Sir Edward volunteered Kevin for the job. Kevin doesn't mind; he thinks the water tower is beautiful and spends a lot of time contemplating its twin phalluses towers. Kevin might be gay.

Well, that's it for Wintersea this year. Stay tuned for the exciting new buildings (and wildlife) of Rosewood Cross!