As my bleak blogging record for the last few years indicates, I am lazy as fuck and don't show up for a lot of things (if I did...I'd have more to blog about). We all know that sometimes, nothing feels as good as blowing off plans and getting cozy on the couch with a snuggly dog. And maybe a pie.
I TRY not to be a flake about showing up for things but I'll admit, I've done my fair share of last minute emails or texting or posting on the wall of a Facebook event. Often I have a real reason for not showing up, but sometimes the reason is "I don't feel like it." Not "I don't feel UP to it", which is different. Just "I don't feel like putting on pants."
I feel like serial cancelling is very easy here in the future with our smartphones. And the laid-back attitude of Vancouver seems to contribute to a level of flakiness heretofore unknown. So I didn't really feel that my occasional blowing off of things for pantsless reasons was particularly egregious.
But back in the spring, I was involved in an event where, the hour before we were starting, fully half of our confirmed attendees bailed via text or email. I didn't take it personally because it wasn't me performing a one woman show entitled "Why Don't You Like Me??", but as our very few actual attendees trickled in, it gave me pause.
Just to be clear, I did not JUDGE any of the cancellers from that event, because I don't fuckin' know their lives and there are always completely legit reasons for cancelling, such as:
- Physical or mental health
- Crazy weather
- Unforeseen personal or work emergency
- Dead Again is playing on Lifetime
But it got me thinking that I should be more considerate about committing to show up to things and then - and this is the key - ACTUALLY SHOWING UP.
At first, in the spirit of Shonda Rhimes' book Year of Yes (which I haven't read, but I feel like it's probably about how she spent a year saying "yes" to things and how it changed her outlook/life, etc.), I thought about doing a year of showing up to everything local that I got invited to. Then I had a good laugh, because I've met myself and ma'am - you are no Shonda Rhimes.
But until I'm ready to fully Shonda-fy my life, I've decided to institute a showing up policy for myself. Here are my new rules.
- I will no longer say I'm "interested" in an event on Facebook. I'm either going or I'm not going. There is no "interested".
- If I say to someone involved that I will show up for their thing, either in person or online, then I'm going.
- On the day of the event, I will ask myself these key questions:
- Can I physically get there without endangering my life? If yes, then I'm going.
- Am I ill? If no, then I'm going.
- Would I rather stay home because it's cold/hot/rainy/snowy/my bangs look weird? Probably, but tough shit, you said you were going, so fuckin' go.
- Can I physically get there without endangering my life? If yes, then I'm going.
I instituted this policy at the beginning of October and I am feeling EXTREMELY superior about it. In fact, last night, I showed up to a thing that I didn't even TELL anyone I would show up to. I just WENT. Because I wanted to support my friend. As it turns out, it was a very fun play reading, even if I did want to punch a few people in the box during the talk back.
Shonda would be proud.
