Creampuff Revolution

Seeking Simone Ep 2.5: Leslie is live!

For those of you whom I did not hassle endlessly yesterday, we hit an exciting Simone milestone when we held the last episode of Season 2 hostage until we got to 1000 Facebook fans.

I was worried that this would blow up in my face, but people were super nice and now we have 1023 fans and the episode is up! Woooo! It is called "Leslie".

This episode was especially fun to film because a few of my favourite Toronto gals - Jeba, Berin, Lex, Sura - showed up to be the extras at the restaurant during Simone's date. Thanks for keeping the rambunctiousness to a minimum, ladies - you are all class!!!

Creampuff Did Some Knitting

The time has come, the Walrus said, for Roro to post a bunch of photos of her knitting. I somehow managed to get through much of last year without posting much of my lumpy crap but it's happening now, so GET READY. Or click away now, I will not blame you.

(All the links to patterns are Ravelry links, so if you're not on Ravelry, you might as well be dead.)

Green Tea Highline

Several years ago, I knit myself a scarf and I've worn that thing to shreds. I decided it was time to knit myself something new and bigger and maybe green. Mission. Accomplished.

This thing took me several months - I had to knit it with the lights on and also, alone because I had to count out loud. It's like the scarf the shortbus knit. But it is very warm and also, smells lovely because of the silk.

Highline in Green Tea Aran Silky Merino from Sundara Yarn

Dr Jacks' Scarf

Young Dr. Jacks and her fella T-Bone totally screwed us a couple of years ago when they decided that pursuing their dreams of non-profit do-gooding in Newfoundland was more important than staying in Vancouver to have Games Nights with us. I know, right? Those selfish douches. 

Before they left, I let Dr. Jacks peruse my yarn stash as I thought it would be nice to knit her something - it is cold in Newfoundland and it's nice to have layers, for protection from the chill and also for all the weeping she'd be doing missing Katr and me. I think this photo, with the dog's ass and my chin hair tweezers, really speaks to how special this project was. I am all class.

Fortunately, Dr. Jacks IS actually all class and emailed me a photo of herself wearing the scarf - basically the nicest thing you can do for a knitter who has knitted you something. This almost makes me forgive Dr. Jacks for abandoning us. ALMOST.

Old Shale Scarf  in A Step in Time sock from Sundara Yarn

Elopement Socks

When I found out that our dear friends Doai and Elai were eloping this summer, elopement socks seemed like the obvious choice. Since they were eloping to Vegas, I briefly thought about elopement pasties instead, but that seems like more of a crochet project.

When I gave them their socks, they had about 10 seconds to react before I manhandled them into their socks for pictures.

"Here are some socks to celebrate your love!! All about your love! Just let me get a photo for my blog."

HA ha! I love you guys. And you have very shapely feet, the pair of you.

Waving Lace Socks in Sugarplum sock from Sundara Yarn

Undulating Rib Socks in Aged Oak Barrel sock from Sundara Yarn

Jech's Scarf

As some of you may recall, Jech knit me the most awesome scarf in all of existence several years ago and since I've learned to knit, I've been meaning to knit her a scarf too.

Since mine could never hope to achieve the heights of awesomeness that hers attained, I decided to go with something frothy and lacy instead. The colourway was Sea Storm, which reminded me of Ireland, where Jech lives and also Wesley and his "eyes like the sea after a storm" from The Princess Bride, one of Jech's favourite books/movies! It was like it was meant to be! Except for the part where the only photo I took of it was this crappy one.

Luscious Lace Scarf in Sea Storm merino lace from Viola Yarn

Patr's Flamingo Mittens

Katr's mom Patr has a thing for flamingos. She has them all over her house in various forms - and at Christmas, she has an entire white tree with pink lights and nothing but flamingo ornaments. HARD. CORE.

So naturally, whenever we see anything with flamingos on it - pyjamas, glassware, tote bags, underwear - we snap it up and send it off to her. 

When I saw SpillyJane's pattern for flamingo mittens, my mission was clear. This was my first colourwork project and I have to say, it turned out pretty well. Also, Patr was thrilled with them, which made it all worthwhile. She thought that I created the pattern too, so...shhhh. I want her to keep liking me.

This in-progress shot turned out much better than the finished product shot...

Flamingo Mitts in Grapevine and Guava sock from Sundara Yarn

Jane's cowl

I wanted to make our yoga teacher Jane a cowl for Christmas. She bikes a lot and likes to layer and also, she is quite petite, so I reasoned that it wouldn't take very long, what with her slim neck and tiny head. Well, the joke was on me because it took a really long time but it's okay, because I was all namaste about it.

Okay full disclosure - I probably would have finished it faster, but I got Kingdom Rush on my iPad and all knitting stopped for several days while I defended my kingdom from the incoming hordes.

I went through a couple of different patterns but nothing really worked with the yarn ("Winter Twilight" - it's like it was MADE for yogis), so I gave up and just knit this based on previous hats. It is cozy and look - just in time for snow! 

Cowl I Made Up in Winter Twilight sock from Sundara Yarn

Now that the cowl is finished, a certain Katr will finally get her new fingerless gloves - a project that she guaranteed would jump to the top of my queue when she bought me some of this for Christmas:

Grand Canal of Venice Aran Silky Merino from Sundara Yarn

It's going to be a silky, delicious year, people. I'll keep you posted on any further developments. Because I know you all will be waiting with bated breath.

Creampuffs in the Pool

Back in November, Katr and I went to an all inclusive resort in Mexico called Excellence Playa Mujeres. While we were there, we had some thoughts and took some pictures. These are those thoughts and pictures.

DUM-DUM!

I know, right?? Awesome.

The first time we went to Excellence Playa Mujeres was right on the heels of the crazy rollercoaster goat rodeo that was buying our home (literally, we got on the plane the day after the deal closed). So we spent the first few days there staring straight ahead or weeping, spending many evenings in our room instead of going out and taking only two photos the whole time we were there - one of some papayas that tasted like farts and one of a particularly nice hibiscus. 

THIS time, it was a totally different story. We were bright eyed! Bushy tailed!  Super drunk! We went to the spa (that's a whole other post)! We got in the pool even though it was freezing! We went out to dinner all the time! We talked to people! That, as it turns out, was a mistake, but otherwise it was a pretty great time. 

Cuban show. Hubba hubba.

Highlights included:

Lesbians

I always get excited when I see other lesbians at the resort. I immediately want to shout "LESBIANS!" at them while clapping my hands like a seal, but I realize that shouting "lesbians" at random lesbians in Mexico might be perceived incorrectly. So then I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to signal to them that Katr and I are not just fat sisters who like to grab-ass in the pool. To what end? I don't know.

I honestly don't know what I hope the outcome will be when the other lesbians realize that they are not the only muffdivers in the Lazy River. As Katr pointed out when I plunked our things down very close to one of the suspected lesbians on the second day, what if they are idiots? Just because they also do not care for the dick doesn't mean that we will totally get along.

I dared to share a few twinkly glances with the butchest of the lesbians there nonetheless - although later, when I saw her engage one of the servers in a lively conversation about her favourite beer and why the resort should carry it and how disappointed she was that the resort didn't have her favourite Australian beer, I wondered if perhaps Katr wasn't correct to advise a cautious approach.

In the end, we never actually had a chat with any of the lesbians, but it did give me a frisson of excitement to see a few of my own kind on the beach in another country.

Emmanuel at the Lazy River

We staked out our favourite spot at our favourite pool pretty early every day - like REALLY early, like 6:30 or 7 a.m. - because we really like that spot and also because we really liked Emmanuel, the hardest working man at the resort. 

This was the only time I saw Emmanuel stop moving the whole time we were there. Photo by Katr.

I make a lot of jokes about being drunk in general, but the fact is that I rarely drink and when I do, it's ONE drink and it's usually about a tablespoon of Amaretto in a pint of diet gingerale. Emmanuel was not having any of this.

From the moment we sat down around 9 or 10 in the morning (you stake out your chairs, see, then go back to bed, get dressed, have breakfast and then go back to your chair and laugh at the nimrods who thought they could show up at the lazy river at 9 a.m. and just FIND SEATS HAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA you're so naive!!) Emmanuel was ON us.

Once he'd figured out our drink for the day, he would just keep bringing them - the minute your straw made that slurping sound against the ice, he was there with a fresh drink and a smile. And we DRANK THEM.

That's my flabby white elbow on the left. JEALOUS?

It is entirely Emmanuel's fault that we spent one particularly raucous afternoon in the pool, laughing hysterically and riding the pool floats like they were ponies. I remember thinking, as I flailed around in the water, nearly blacking out with mirth, that THIS is how people drown in pools shallow enough to stand up in. Oh, good times.

Katr's Birthday

It was Katr's birthday while we were there! They put up some balloons in the room and brought us a little cake. Katr...you're my favourite and I love you the most!!

Katr's birthday shrine with flowers and cheesy photo I got from the resort photographer. 

People with No Boundaries

I don't know how it happened. We met a few folks from the Trip Advisor forums that we'd haunted for months before the trip, and that was lovely. But then, we met some other people who were also nice but HAD NO BOUNDARIES. 

The second week, we somehow ended up in a marathon yap session with two couples, one from Missouri (we'll call them Bhea and Bave) and one from Manchester (Braig and Bindsey), and ended up getting roped into having dinner with them later that night. We didn't really have conversations with these people so much as we provided a face for them to look at while they talked about themselves endlessly.

Where the swingers meet, according to Antonio who works at that bar on the left.

When they did stop to ask us a question about ourselves, it was only to find a new jumping off point to talk about them. They were super friendly and occasionally funny but after a few minutes, it just really exhausting and OMG I KNOW THINGS ABOUT THESE PEOPLE I SHOULDN'T KNOW, like:

• Medical problems, mainly involving the brain


• Crazy ex-boyfriend/ ex-girlfriend/ex-wife/3-dead-husbands stories


• The feeling you get in your nuts when you swim with dolphins


• That Bhea from Missouri thinks Obama was a secret Muslim (that's where Katr lost her cool)

We also met a gal from right here in Vancouver, who we'll call Beirdre. God love her, she accosted us in the pool one day to ask about where we were getting our poolside burgers (Emmanuel kept us fed as well as liquored).

I was a little drunk and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I kept staring at her as she sort of barked questions at us and as she reached up to rub her face I realized what it was that was off about her - SHE HAD NO FINGERS. On either hand. NO FINGERS, YOU GUYS. 

This poor woman had lost her fingers - AND toes - and a lot of her hearing - after contracting a mysterious bacterial infection and going from healthy to near death in two days.

We got to hear all about it and also, all about the other people she met who had similar horrible random things happen to them while she was physical therapy learning to walk again.  

Holy fucking shit, Beirdre. 

So, to recap, here's who we met at our resort.

Social analysis

I couldn't figure out how we'd become such freak bait this time around - our previous visits to the resort have yielded some pleasant, superficial conversations with other couples who were content to exchange a few words and waves.

Katr, however, being smart like she is, had some keen theories as to why we'd attracted these folks:

1. We're two women travelling together and neither of us looks particularly gay. Girlfriends on a "girlfriends" or "sisters" trip are always looking to gab! Their men aren't around and they love "connecting" with people! 

2. We're fat and therefore must be either jolly and friendly and/or lonely, because fat people are reviled! We are non-threatening and are probably very motherly and also, they might be doing us a favour, chatting with the poor fat ladies, we probably have a lot of cats, etc.

Next time, we're going to have to either bring another couple with us for protection...or just be a lot more rude. You know, either way.

More photos

Katr has some delightful shots up on Flickr and so do I. There is one in Katr's set of me drunk in the pool but I'm not posting it here because you're too young to see that.

 

Hahahaha - New Year!

Oh hey, guys! Happy New Year!! Yeah, how's it going? Good, good.

So it somehow became 2012 since the last time I was here!

I hope that you all enjoyed wonderful holidays with your families, chosen and/or biological. Katr, Emmy Lou and I experienced two weeks of debauched whimsy, full of really fantastic family, friends and food...oh, so much food. Emmy could barely fit into her Santa outfit!

I hate you fatties so hard right now.

I know a lot of folks out there are super against New Year's Resolutions because a lot of the time, our resolutions are grandiose and unspecific and therefore unrealizable. And to those folks, I say FUCK YOU, LET ME HAVE MY DREAMS.

As one must, I reviewed my resolutions from last year. Here are the results.

1. No family deaths in 2011! YEAH!! 

2. Finish my stupid play that's set in the Yukon. COMPLETE.

3. Weekly blogging. HAHAHAHAA!! Okay, in my defense...yeah, I have nothing. I came out pretty strong at the beginning of the year though and I look forward to doing the same this year - blogging weekly until about...April? Then slowly slacking off until the end of the year when my only motivation to blog becomes my friend Jeba leaving real pushy comments.

4. Word of the Day writing project. NO. This was supposed to be a good way for me to noodle around for 15 minutes a day, you know, so that I could really force myself to write even when I didn't feel like it, leading to literary GOLD. You know what I found out? I'm kind of a wanker.  I managed to do this for about three months and deleted it all in disgust and decided to spent my 15 minutes more productively, by doing laundry or playing Plants Vs. Zombies on my iPhone.

5. Watch less TV. YES. This year, my best friend Padu and I started a weekly phone date. We chat in the evenings, when I would ordinarily watch TV. So thanks to Padu, I now watch at least one hour less of TV per week. Baby steps, people. Baby ste-- wait, shut up, Sister Wives is back on.

6. Smell fantastic. YES. Katr's crazy pile of philosophy products for Solstice last year kept me smelling like food pretty much up until right before this year's Solstice, where the only bodywash I had left was Candy Cane and I spent the last couple of weeks before the holidays smelling like a minty foot. Fortunately, Santa once again gifted me truly insane amounts of deliciousness this year, so I'm back to smelling like gingerbread, eggnog and cherry crisp. JEALOUS?

7. Reduce the stash. NO. This was going fairly well until Sundara Yarn brought out Water Lily in the spring. And then Porcini in the fall. And then Monet's Basilica and Grand Canal of Venice in the winter. I'M A HUMAN WITH EYES. I HAD to buy these. But hey - I DID do some good knitting this year, which I will feature in a later post, so get ready.

Photo credit: countingstitches, whose stash is epic

That's it for last year - and obviously "Weekly Blogging", "Smell Fantastic" and "Reduce the Stash" are all rolling over into this year - but what about this year's grandiose goals of unattainability? Here's what I came up with:

1. Bi-weekly Yoga. By that I meant yoga twice a week, not weekly bisexual yoga. As I mentioned in my yoga post, I was pretty sure I'd hate yoga but our teacher is adorable and we are digging the namaste. Ideally, we'd do yoga MORE than twice a week, but right now, twice a week is the number of times Jane shows up and makes us do yoga. 

2. Sugar cleanse. I'm generally against cleanses, because they make you unfun and also I suck at them. But I think that cutting out sugar for a defined period of time (say, a week) would be a helpful exercise, if only to find out how crazy I get. I will let you know how it goes, if I don't smash my computer and get arrested for trying to eat the gingerbread trim off the house down the street.

3. Become a yoga douchebag who doesn't eat sugar. Hahahaaa! Just kidding. But I know you were wondering. 

4. Brag about the iPad 2 Katr got me for Christmas, which she had engraved and everything so we'd know it was mine, even though SHE only has an iPad 1 and REALLY wants an iPad 2 but giving me fancier technology than she has is just another way she proves her love. COMPLETE. By the way, I named the iPad "Voldemort".

5. Pick something and fucking work on it. I'm not a very original person. I have many one project idea a year. And then, the year after, I have another project idea. Then I think about doing something about these ideas and have another idea. And then when I have time to DO something with these ideas, I can't decide which one to focus on. It's pretty ass and I don't get anything done.

So this year, I've winnowed it down to two ideas and I'm seconds away from deciding which one I'm going to throw all my energy into this year. Seconds away. Annnnnnnny second now.

Okay, that's what I got for now. I hope that 2012 brings all good things to all of you! Stay tuned for my weekly blog post! HA ha! For real this year, guys!