So it turns out that, just as "fervently wishing for the holidays to begin" doesn't actually speed up time, being "in denial that the holidays are over" does not cause time to stop.
I hope you all had really lovely holidays - for me, it was a glorious time of family, friends, food and TV firelogs and I enjoyed it immensely and would really like to be spending all day every day alternately knitting, reading, eating bonbons, napping and learning the secrets of my brand new Mac (don't look at me like that - I HAD to get it. My Dell was making uncomfortable noises, like it had mainlined several street burritos and the blue screen of death appeared more than once. It was time.)
As is my yearly wont, I decided to check out my New Year's post from last year to see what was what and was disappointed to see that I'd only accomplished and/or addressed two of my five resolutions:
1. No death - well, that didn't work out. My grandpa passed away in May. But 2011 - NO DEATH!!
2. Move - CHECK.
3. Don't learn to drive - CHECK-A-ROONIE.
4. Finish Padu's sweater and other outstanding knitting projects - CHE...ck. Well, here's what happened with that - after 3 years of knitting this endless fucking sweater, I stored the front and back of it in a bag while I worked on the first sleeve. The sleeve wasn't going well - it's like moths had gotten into the ball of yarn I was using and I kept finding suspicious weak spots too late, which meant that the sleeve was full of little knots and wispy bits of shittied up yarn. THEN, when I removed the sweater pieces from the bag (months later), I discovered that the bag had off-gassed into the sweater pieces and the sweater now smelled like it was constantly farting motor oil.
I aired it out for days on end - nothing.
At this point, I started to wonder if I should just call it a day - the sweater reeked, it was too long in the front, I started it so long ago that it was no longer in style AND also, I fucking just fucking hated it.
Knitting something you fucking hate for someone you totally love makes no goddamn sense. So I gave up and knit Padu a scarf with the leftover good, sweet-smelling yarn instead. I finished it while he was here for the holidays! It's very fetching, no?
I also finished the socks I'd been knitting my brother's girlfriend since July of 2009! She was very appreciative and very kindly took some knit porn photos for me. Such shapely feet.
5. Finish my stupid play that's set in the Yukon - Not yet. How long does it take to write a light, comedic one-act play? Four years, apparently. I have no real excuse here - I had a deadline to finish it, then got sick and missed the deadline and then the Olympics and then we moved and then I ceased to care. But I came across it the other day when I was moving files around and decided that it couldn't go the way of Padu's sweater (which I plan to burn in the yard - there will be photos, so get ready).
I'm not going too nuts with the resolutions this year because that way lies insanity and disappointment, followed by binge drinking and recrimination. In the place of grand, sweeping plans, I have reasonable ideas, such as:
1. Weekly blogging. 'Cause if you're going to pay for your blogging software, you should actually use it.
2. Word of the Day writing project. I signed up for A Word A Day and am spending 15 minutes a day writing whatever crap I feel like, based on whatever the word of the day is. We'll see how long THAT happens but it's three days in and so far, it's ALL GOLD. And by "all", I mean "total" and by "gold", I mean "wank".
3. Watch less tv. I LOVE tv. Love it. But when I caught myself looking at the amazing pile of great books I got for Christmas during a break in Millionaire Matchmaker last night, I thought "Maybe I should read a book." Of course, I could record Millionaire Matchmaker, fast forward through the ads and then that's an extra 15 minutes for reading right there.
4. Smell fantastic. Santa loaded me up with every Christmas-scented item philosophy ever produced and I can't lie - I'm a little obsessed. Should I scrub with Gingerbread today? Is it a Sugary Cinnamon Icing kind of evening? Does my Peppermint Bark lipgloss clash with my Vanilla Cardamom body butter? I don't want to smell like an idiot. Since I had to go gluten-free last summer, it's become clear that whiffing of cupcakes is the next best thing.
5. Reduce the stash. Don't tell anyone this but...I like to watch Hoarders because it makes me feel good about myself and my personal level of clutter. Still, there's always room for improvement - so I have officially quit making Katr buy me yarn until I've cleared out a reasonable space in the large, three-drawer Rubbermaid dresser I have my stash stuffed into. So you know what that means - more photos of knitting! I know you're excited, so don't pretend like you're not.
Okay, that's five. I could go on, but Millionaire Matchmaker is just starting. Happy New Year to you all - and may your resolutions be reasonable!
