Today is Katr and my third gay wedding-aversary. Happy Anniversary, Katr!!
To be honest with you, I’m not really sure what I did to deserve someone as great as Katr but I think it’s best not to pull at that thread, especially in front of her. There’s always a chance she might think “You know…maybe I’d be better off with someone who DOESN’T watch Hoarders to feel good about herself or shout “Release the Kraken!” when she’s in the ladies’ shitter.” Shhhh…never think that, Katr. Shhhhh.
I have a very long list of reasons why I love Katr more and more with each passing day and don’t really know where to start - Her cleverness? Her wit? Her rack? Her infinite patience? How she claims to still love me even when I ruin La-Z-Boy Night by bringing home some random puppy who craps on our bedroom floor (more on that in a future post)? I could write a book.
But for some reason this year, I was so embroiled in planning for Katr’s birthday month (or, as I call it, Katevember) that I TOTALLY did not get Katr anything for our anniversary. FIRED.
When I confessed this to her a few days ago, she told me that it was okay, because she’d gotten me a big surprise gift for Christmas (she’d been hinting at it for ages) and it was arriving in time for our anniversary – and since the gift was really going to be enjoyed by BOTH of us, maybe it should be our anniversary present! So naturally, I was all over that idea, like a me all over Katr’s rack.
When the box arrived yesterday, Katr left it up to me to decide when to open it and I said we should save it for our actual anniversary and then she said “Really?” in the voice of a woman who’s been keeping a really big secret for several months and CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE and then we opened the box together.
This is what was inside.
Yes. That’s right. It’s a giant painting of a close up of our dog’s face. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
Waaay back in the summer, we watched a show on Animal Planet called Cats 101 and they featured Cassie Graus, who paints giant close-ups of smoosh-faced cats (among other things). And Katr secretly contacted her and commissioned a giant close-up painting of our smoosh-faced dog.
I’m not going to lie to you. I was totally beside myself when I saw this. I mean, she got every detail – the plump wrinkles, the scar under one eye, the slightly suspicious look that says “Where’s my treat, fattie?” This photograph does not BEGIN to capture the majesty of this painting. I laughed. I wept. It was better than smoosh-faced cats.
And now we are those lesbians who have a portrait of their pet in the living room. JEALOUS?
Oh, Katr…how I love you. Thank you for the most awesome – in every sense – gift ever. I’m referring to you giving me your heart but the painting is a close second, baby.
