I participated in a delightful Northern Voice 09 weekend before last and I have it say, it was effing great. Huzzah!
Like last year, I met lots of really interesting, smart, talented people. But I remember last year, my main conference takeaway was that I met Meg Tilly. This year, I think I actually got it. There were some really great talks and panels on stuff I was very interested in. Plus, I seem to have caught everyone's disgusting plague! My suggestion for next year's conference slogan is: Northern Voice 2010 - It's Viral.
The Northern Voice organizers didn't take me up on my offer to speak about how many hot Dawn French pictures you can post on your blog before being sued. But Katr and I were on a panel this year: Social Media Mores for the Modern Couple. HA ha!
The panel was comprised of us, as well as eloquent, talented bloggers Derek Miller and Airdrie Miller. It was moderated brilliantly by Julie Szabo, who asked fantastic questions (ooo, and expertly live-blogged by Raul - thanks, Raul!) and the audience asked awesome questions as well. It was relaxed, fun times. Thanks, awesome people!
As one might expect, Julie, Katr, Derek and Airdrie spent the panel being alternately articulate, witty, honest, thoughtful, heartwarming and heartbreaking...and I sat on the end cracking jokes. In the end, while I had a great time, I don't know that I contributed anything of substance. In view of the giant brains and life experiences of my co-panelists, this was certainly no great loss. But it did get me thinking about how I generally choose hilarity over keeping it real and about the price I may pay for coming off like a frivolous douche. It's a hard life.
So I was thinking about inappropriate behaviour later this week and how it has the potential to hold one back. I know that I am not the only person who struggles to choose between what is appropriate and what is funny. So in an attempt to both monitor my childish impulses and offer some useful tips, I thought I would put together a list of professional "don'ts" for those of you who share my inclination to crack wise when perhaps you should keep your crack to yourself.
My behavioural experiment was helped along by fate - Katr and I were working onsite for a client all last week and it proved an excellent opportunity to quell my instincts!
I'm not saying it wasn't a challenge, but for a whole week, I did not:
- Follow a co-worker to the one-seater bathroom, then say loudly through the door "Whatcha doin' in there?"
- Walk around the office pretending that TimBits were my nipples.
- Click the link when the #2 search result for "abbreviations for measurements" was a site called "Penis Enlargement Gym".
- Yell "I backwashed!!" as my boss took a sip of her coffee.
- Suggest a co-worker set his new password as "H0neybEarb0ng"
- Perform my "I'm Batman!" shadow puppet routine in front of the LCD projector.
- Get Katr up to demonstrate our mastery of the Single Ladies dance routine from the Beyoncé video. Oh, wait...no, we did do that at the office.
- Answer dissenting opinions with "Homo says what?"
- Ask the security guard "Is that a concealed weapon? Or did you just pop a woody?"
- Make tuna melt in the kitchen microwave. No office can come back from hot fish.
All in all, it was a pretty grown-up week - and just in time for my birthday! Which I plan to spend pantsless, face first in an ice cream cake with "Eat Me Bob" written on it. More ice cream - more ice cream, monkeys!
