I enjoy living in a fantasy world and endeavour to do so whenever possible. But I've been trying to be more realistic about things of late, in an attempt to achieve some kind of health/work/life balance.
In examining some of my more deeply held beliefs, particularly around food, I've noticed ... that I'm totally fucking delusional.
For instance:
I'll eat a bag of M&M's - not the little single serve bag, I'm talking the movie-sized bag here - without a second thought. But I'm always really careful about how many carrots I eat, because carrots are full of sugar. Same with bananas.
I enjoy the occasional soda pop and not always the diet pop - the real stuff, with the delicious high fructose corn syrup. But I'll rarely have more than half a cup of juice, any juice, because juice is full of calories.
For some reason, I consider pumpkin to be the ultimate health food. So anything with pumpkin in it is good for me. This includes pumpkin lattes, pumpkin scones, pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake and the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard from Dairy Queen.
Peanut M&Ms are better than regular M&Ms. Because peanuts pack a lot of protein.
Potato chips have too much sodium, so I make sure to stay away from those. But Nacho Cheese Doritos are made from CORN. So they're okay.
When I make an omelette (one of two things I actually know how to make), I generally use egg whites, so as to avoid the yolk's cholesterol. But did you know that if egg yolks are part of a fried egg SANDWICH, then they have no cholesterol? It's true! It's like the bread neutralizes the yolk. Look it up.
I could go on, but it's making me hungry. But tell me this - am I alone in these irrational and arbitrary dietary delusions (no doubt brought on by my years of ill-advised low-carb dieting)? If not, please feel free to share your delusions below. And if so - lie to me. It's dangerous to have too many delusions shattered at once and since I discovered that Kozy Shack Rice Pudding does not, in fact, deliver the same health benefits as kale, I'm really on the edge.
