Tomorrow is Canada Day! Yay Canada! Oh, Canada - you're not perfect, but you are definitely worth celebrating. I plan to observe this national holiday by belting out my favourite patriotic tune, The Canada Song, and consuming unseemly amounts of our national drink - Slurpees. With just a touch of vodka.
Some random things I love about Canada:
Jokes about beavers - I totally love that our national animal is the beaver. Industrious yet dumpy. Suggestive yet ridiculous. They mark their territory with "scent mounds". It delights me.
The island made of chocolate - Did you know that here in British Columbia, there's an island made entirely of chocolate? It's true! It's called Denman Island and you can eat everything there - rocks, trees, garbage cans, you name it! Or so I HEAR. It's not too far from Saltspring Island, which is the island made entirely of pot.
Folk musicians - Speaking of pot, my parents are avid folk festival fans and it's thanks to them that I once ate lunch next to k.d. lang and touched the Violent Femmes. It's true that I love the crappy pop but nothing lifts my soul quite like Maria Dunn or Amelia Curran or Evalyn Parry or The Be Good Tanyas or... you get the idea. Canadian folkiness - you please me.
Things that are filmed in Vancouver - I get a geeky thrill when I watch films and tv shows that are shot in Vancouver. The X-Files, Battlestar Galactica, Bionic Woman - it makes me feel COOL. I get an even bigger thrill when I recognize Canadian actors on the American shows that are filmed in Canada. For example, we recently discovered cute lesbian comedy Exes and Ohs, which was not only mostly shot in Vancouver but also stars Marnie Alton, who's from Edmonton and was in my very first play when I was 16.
Here's the scary part - it's been 17 years and she looks EXACTLY THE SAME. Totally gorgeous. Me, I look more an more like our national animal every year. Industrious yet dumpy. Also, strangely fuzzy.
Cake Beauty - It's summertime and the living is a little dry and flaky, especially around our ankles. I've been dying for some serious exfoliation and rubbing my feet up against the throngs of Cirque du Soleil patrons isn't cutting it. So Katr and I went a little wild in Cake Beauty's online store. We're getting some citrus squeeze brown sugar scrub and a few other deliciousnesses. I'm not going to lie to you guys - I've been thinking about it. A LOT. This shit cannot get here fast enough. And when it does...I might never leave the tub.
Anne of Green Gables - It's no secret that I believe Anne of Green Gables turned me gay. The close female friendships, the après-ball "sleepovers", Anne getting Diana drunk on currant wine while Marilla was out - let's face it, Anne of Green Gables was practically The L Word of 1908. That's right - 1908. That means that this year is the 100th anniversary of Anne!!
To celebrate this momentous occasion, Moynan King and I are co-curating a night of hot Anne lesbian cabaret action called Anne Made Me Gay: When Kindred Spirits Get Naked at Buddies in Bad Times in Toronto, November 28th. I know!! A whole night of Anne!! Be there - bring your gingham and your bosom friend.
I could go on, but it might take away from my pre-Canada Day Slurpee drinking (you have to lay a base). Instead, I turn it over to you, fellow beaver lovers! Happy Canada Day to all of you and may the Great Beaver grant your every desire!
