It's New Year's Eve and it seems there's a lot of pressure to "have plans". You know what I say? I say "plans" are for the weak! I say fuck "plans" right in the ear!
I am ambivalent towards all occasions that require me to "do something special" - New Year's, my birthday, Arbor Day, etc. Some years, I go all out and have some big shindig. Other years, I stay home, kick my roommate out and clean my closet. This year is a "closet-cleaning" year for us, which is doing nothing for our agoraphobic hermit image. But it occurred to me earlier, while I was out walking the dog, that I think it was 10 years ago tonight that I hosted the funnest New Year's Eve party ever at my parents' house. The memories started flooding back as I stood outside, watching my dog sniff bush. I got a little misty, friends. Here's what I remember:
- My parents were out of town. Woooooo! I know, I know - the films of our youth tell us that parents out of town = wild, out of control, call the police party!!! Drunken brawls! Pizza on the turntable! Couples having pre-marital sexual relations in your parents' room!! Wooooo! Yeah - it wasn't that kind of party. Because all my friends were respectful nerds who would never spill shit on my mother's couch. It was a respectful nerd party. A houseful of respectful nerds and some drop-in respectful nerds. Damn, I love those respectful nerds.
- At the beginning of the night, El Nino had provided a balmy temperature of +12 degrees. Over the course of the 7 hour party, the temperature dropped to -25 degrees. Smokers went from light sweaters to wearing two winter coats at once. It was epic.
- I was planning to move back to Toronto after New Year's and had decided I needed a new look. Over the course of the party, Caha cut my hair and then Padu dyed it red. Alcohol WAS involved, yet strangely, the look was very fetching. At least according to the photographic evidence.
- My friend Kawa had brought her . . . friend? Boyfriend? We'll call him Balistair. We all kinda knew Balistair from high school, but after 4 years of university education, Balistair had become kind of a pompous shit slice. "Oh, give him a break," Kajo said to me, "he's not a bad guy." "Whatever," I said to her, "Guys like him make me gayer. Pass me the Big Bear Malt Liquor."
- Juwi, a novice smoker, had to come in from the porch several times due to the increasingly frigid temperatures. "What a time for El Nino to forsake me!"
- After a few beers, my brother decided that because it was so cold, it would be best if he and his friends smoked their cigars in my parents' car. With the windows up.
- After hearing me use the word "dykey", Balistair proceeded to bore us all to tears by pompously talking about the whole notion of "reclaiming" words, like "bitch" or "dyke". My brother says to Balistair "I want to reclaim the word 'slut'. I feel it's really being misused." Balistair took him seriously and try to debate the merits of the word "slut." He asked my brother a question that contained the word "hermeneutic". My brother replied "I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you over the sound of me scratching my nuts."
Balistair: What I said was -
Jaro: Unnnnnnnnnnnnngaaaaaaaaaaah.
- Jeba had brought her new boyfriend with her to the festivities. Ultimately, the relationship didn't work out, but in the first blush of love, this guy was apparently a demon in the sack. After hearing about his sexual exploits in detail, Caha and Chezza tried to find ways to work the word "oral" into every subsequent conversation. The Big Bear Malt Liquor squirted out my nose. NERDS.
- At one point in the evening, Kawa came into the living room to ask if there was any more milk. (It was a WILD party. Shut up!)
Balistair: My mother says 'milk' funny. She calls it 'meeeeelk'.
Jaro: Your mother is a SLUT.
- The next morning, we had to pick my parents up from the airport in the car Jaro and his friends had smoked stogies in. Fearful of my mother's sensitive schnozz, Jaro took the cigar-scented car to Bubbles Car Wash to get the cigar smell shampooed out of it. It cost him over $100. The shampoo wasn't dry by the time we had to go pick my parents up, so we sat on plastic bags on the seats with the windows rolled down in -30 Celsius on the highway, trailing a plume of toxic orange peel stench behind us. Jealous?
I know - tame, right? But it was this wild, joyful evening, all of us teetering on the edge of our lives to come and really, really celebrating being happy, passionate dorks together. Plus, several people (including Balistair - sigh) slept over and in the morning, there were waffles! Wonderful, wonderful waffles.
I think that, in the face of all the live-changing events of the last year, 2007 has been heavy on nostalgia - nostalgia for everything from books I've read a hundred times to hometown parties of yore where I'd known everyone there since we were all 12. It's been comforting to cling to the familiar, but I have to admit that in doing so, I have successfully bored myself. I think that 2008 will have to be a year of appreciating the past, but not living in it. It's time to embrace the new! Embrace the new!!