Creampuff Revolution

Creampuff to Cancun!

I got married!

It's pretty hilarious that I thought I'd have all kinds of time to blog in the week leading up to the wedding. HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Holy shit!

Thanks to all of you fabulous people who came out to perform and drink and dance and celebrate with us! It was a pretty effing fantastic and there will be pictures later.

We're off on our honeymoon right now, where the water is warm, the drinks are plentiful and the other honeymooners wonder why those two fat sisters are making out. See you in two weeks!!!

Creampuff to Random Person Hammering: "I Will Kill You"

There are times in one's life when one has to adjust to living with a certain baseline level of stomach-churning barf-xiety. When it happens to me, I try to keep things in perspective! I try not to complain or freak out, because it's just work stuff and wedding stuff and no one's going to die and I know there are people out there having REAL problems and I am not one of them. I try to switch from coffee to chamomile-lavendar tea. I try to butch up.

Taking one thing at a time and staying focused on the task at hand certainly helps. But when I'm this close to flashing the crazy eyes, certain situations cause the chunder to rise from down under and I cease to handle anything well. These situations or events may include:

• Technological problems (computer, phone, Q-tips)
• Anything that causes a deviation from the very tight schedule of events I'm following IN MY MIND
• The dipshit who is currently hitting something with a hammer somewhere in our building

The concrete building we live in transfers sound in strange ways. The Hammer could be coming from next door or from 5 floors down. Because we don't know where it's coming from, we have no clear direction for our wrath and screaming "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, QUIT POUNDING THE WALL!!" doesn't seem to be working.

I know it can't go on forever. Eventually the Hammer will fall silent and its wielder will move on to other things, like drilling. I don't need to totally lose it over this water-torturesque noise. I just need to just calm down and focus on my HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!! QUIT POUNDING THE -

The hammering! Finally stopped! Oh, sweet nanosecond of silence - how I enjoyed you before the fire alarm started going off.

Dog - earn your keep! Lower my blood pressure with your cuteness!

Okay.

In other news, I'm still totally KICKING 10th place ass in the Best Individual Blogger category over at the 2007 Weblog Awards! It's the last day to vote for your favourite blogs - and I have to say, I've discovered some great new ones, many of which involve pictures of the Catspiracy. Which is awesome, because more ways to procrastinate is exactly what I need right now.

Creampuff's Hope Chest Complete

Know what I don't get a lot of in the mail? If you said "Gina Torres' underwear", guess again. Give up?

SOCK MONKEYS!!

That's right. Our adoptive mothers Melle (maker of sock monkeys) and Sherry (sock-choosing maven) saw fit to complete Katr and my hope chests by mail with two adorable, hilarious sock monkeys! I'm not going to lie. There were tears of joy. And then some monkey-touching.  Katr chose the smaller of the two monkeys and has named her The Lavendar Ninja. She already has a theme song and sound effects. As for me - I chose this one.

I think I will call her Stretch.

Look at the personality on that face!

This is a monkey who'll wrap her long arms around you while you tell her your troubles. And then, when you're finished, she'll say tenderly: "Are you fucking kidding me with that? You think you have problems? Please. Have you SEEN my arms? I have to make an appointment to scratch my own ass! Now get me a banana and a beer and turn on Wild Kingdom."

I took this shot after she'd had a few beers:

And then I had to haul her drunk, gangly ass off the dog:

I think she'll be right at home here.

Thanks, other moms! We're the luckiest fat lesbian adopted daughters ever!! I look forward to a future with no wedding planning, in which Stretch and the Lavendar Ninja start a band and make music videos for YouTube. Stay tuned!!

Creampuff and Dog Have Giant Heads

 

But neither of us give "giants head", which was my original title before I noticed the typo.

I was shocked to discover during a routine stats inspection this morning that I'm a finalist in the 2007 Weblog Awards in the Best Individual Blogger category! Ha ha - wha-? Voting is open from now until November 8th and you can vote once per category every 24 hours.

UPDATED: There are ten finalists in my category and I notice that I'm currently kicking 9th 10th place ASS right now; if you get behind me on this, people, I bet we can take this thing all the way to 7th 9th!!!!! Yeeeeaaaaaaah!!

Young Cas at Bright Meadow is a finalist in the Best UK Blog category and a little bird told me that she may also have been the source of my nomination (by "a little bird", I mean "I looked at the nominations"). Thanks, Cas!! And the lovely belledame222 over at Fetch me my axe is a finalist in the Best LGBT Blog category. So head over and vote for them too - or for whomever tickles your fancy. There are countless quality blogs to vote for! Huzzah!

I am not the only one to be honoured today - we got the news earlier this week that our own Emmy Lou had made the cut for the TNT Shar Pei Rescue calendar!! HA ha! In your FACE, other rescue dogs!! Here she is, in all her inquisitive, ham-hocky glory, next to her full page spread (we couldn't decide on a single photo to submit for the calendar).

 

This year, she's Miss April, but next year, we're going for CENTREFOLD. Yeah, lick your lips like that.