First, I got a little crazy over Neopets. Then (sweet, sweet ear frottage) it was Q-Tips. And my latest, uh, avid interest, is Vancouver's Craig's List apartment listings.
Our current place in Vancouver is in a great location but it's furnished with stuff that isn't ours and it's so small that with two of us creampuffs in there - well, it's almost pornographic. We're pretty excited to actually find an apartment where we can plunk our three remaining pieces of furniture and perhaps get one of these:
The thing is that I've been on the other side of the country for two months now and we can't really look for a place until I'm actually back in the land of "boil water!" advisories and not enough Swiss Chalet. Katr's working ridiculous hours and anyway, it's not the kind of decision you should make without your partner there. So we can't get a new apartment until I get there and it's pointless to look beforehand.
So what am I doing EVERY FIVE MINUTES? I'm looking at Vancouver apartment porn.
At first, I was just looking at apartments we might actually want. In the areas we want, the size we want, in our price range. But then I would see ads for great looking places and I would get a little too excited and start yelling "That's our apartment! That's our apartment!" And then, when I remembered the futility of my search, then would come the weeping.
Once I reconciled myself to never actually getting any of the apartments I was looking at, I started to refer to my "itchy refresh finger" activities as "Research". Which, incidentally, is the name of the folder where I keep my pictures of Gina Torres.
Since it's all a fantasy anyway, I gave up limiting myself and started to look at EVERYTHING. 1 bedrooms, 5 bedrooms. $25/day rooms and $8000/month luxury condos. Basement suites and penthouses. If there's a photo, I'll look at it. And if the photos are of the view instead of the apartment, I yell "That doesn't COUNT!" at the ad. I also yell "That doesn't COUNT!" when they list the apartment as a 2 bedroom and then the ad says "1 bedroom and den that can be USED AS A BEDROOM [emphasis added]". I also yell "Catspiracy!" when they allow cats but not dogs. And then I hit "refresh" again.
I was telling my friend Deye about the apartment porn and she comforted me by not only buying my line about "research", but by telling me that her partner, Grmi, obsessively checked the weather report weeks before their outdoor commitment ceremony. "Why are you checking?" she said to him, "it's not for 10 days!" "I know," he'd reply hysterically, "but I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF."
I'm feeling Grmi's pain. As innocent as I feel this apartment porn surfing is, it's certainly consuming a lot of my time. For instance, I started this post on Friday and it's now Sunday night. I'd like to think that my obsessive apartment porn surfing will lessen in the days to come but we all know that's a lie. It's only going to get worse until we actually get an apartment. And it might continue for awhile after that. Just to make sure we got a good deal and stuff.
Anyway - I'm off to Vancouver on Thursday and the search can begin in earnest. Wish us luck and puppies. And a speedy internet connection. And more pictures of Gina Torres.
