No one sniffs out juvenile online paraphernalia like my pal Syd. Between the Cooter's Mullet Salon t-shirts and the product known as "Liquid Ass", she gives us all such a wealth of ridiculousness and crassness that I started to wonder how I would ever give back. So when I saw this photo on her blog a couple of months ago, I knew it was time, as my mother used to say, to "roll into action".
It's, you know, a dildo cozie. Reclining seductively on a purple velvet chaise. They're a Sister Clementine creation and while I knew my meagre knitting skills would not allow me to produce a creature quite as charming and strangely imperious as this pink deal above, I was up for a challenge and, more importantly, had nearly a whole ball of shiny Whorehouse Red just hanging out in the my stash. And so, with Syd in mind, I created Dildy.
Yeah, I know. She kinda looks like a voodoo Dildy and the red beads that make up her mouth are kinda hard to see in the pictures and she kinda looks like blind children from Ecuador knit her with their feet. Also, instead of tentacles, she is wearing a demure little skirt. But for my first attempt I feel she's not too shabby. Also, she is very silky and has a lovely sheen. Here she is with TED Dog. Their relationship? Entirely platonic. Yet they are wearing matching outfits . . .
Poor Syd is horribly, horribly sick at the moment, but when Dildy arrived, she managed to send an ecstatic message of thanks via e-mail. When I saw that the e-mail's subject line was "OMFG", my knitterly heart filled to bursting. It's these moments that make it all worthwhile. Well, that and being able to say to my mom "Well, Mom, I gotta go! The dildo cozie I'm making for my interweb friend in Mississippi ain't gonna knit itself! Happy Birthday!"
