Dear Guy Who Called My Girlfriend Asking for Free Business or Marketing Advice and Then Made Her Chase You Around Like She Was Doing YOU a Favour,
Congratulations on learning how to auto-fellate. I feel that your newfound ability to suck your own cock is the only possible explanation for your complete disregard for common courtesy in this matter. I'm not saying it's not difficult for you, a guy who is likely very busy, to keep appointments with women in other countries whom you pestered for free advice out of the blue. When it comes time to let my girlfriend know that your schedule has changed, I imagine your deeply conflicted inner monologue goes something like this:
"I COULD take these two minutes to e-mail Katr and let her know that I can't make the Skype call that she had to rearrange her whole weekend to be available for as a generous favour to me, a random guy she's never even met . . . OR I could . . . [ziiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip]"
I understand that on one occasion, you cancelled a call after it was scheduled to begin because you wanted to WATCH THE WORLD CUP. I understand that for people who give a shit, the World Cup is a major event. Because I am an avid Olympics fan, I do not begrudge sports fans their obsessions, no matter how incredibly tedious I find them. But it's early in the World Cup. All the early games are clearly scheduled and therefore I am fairly certain that the match in question did not sneak up on you like a diarrhea in a job interview. If you have the technology to Skype, then you have the technology to record the World Cup match you want on videocassette. I am told they have video recorders in England now. Please make yourself aware of this new technology.
You may wonder why I, Katr's girlfriend, am even more incensed and annoyed about your cavalier attitude and disrespectful behaviour than she is herself. The explanation for my feelings is twofold:
a) When you love someone, you tend to get far more indignant on their behalf than you ever thought possible; and
b) When my girlfriend is waiting around at her computer with a headset on at 6:30 a.m. on a Saturday, her thumbs are the ONLY things getting twiddled. Suffice to say, my needs are not being met, needs that involve sleeping and other things you do while horizontal, like turning over and sleeping some more and then perhaps getting some. Since you have clearly mastered the art of getting AND giving, perhaps you can pass on some tips in this area.
In closing, I would like to offer this suggestion: a good start in the successful marketing of your event would be to not piss off the person you're asking free marketing advice from. In the end, when your website looks like ten kinds of ass and no one signs up, you will have naught but yourself, your sore jaw and your raw, red member to blame.
Cheerio, pip pip,
Roro
