In which Creampuff remembers that before her birthday and her grandfather knockin' on heaven's door and the knitting . . . oh, the knitting . . . she was in the middle of something. Back - to IRELAND!!
Belfast! At last! Fresh from our train ride with the champion ballroom dancers, Jeba and I found our way, with relative ease, to the hostel. Jecr, the blushing bride, had been kind enough to make reservations for Jeba and I at a place called "Arnie's", which was quite comfortable, full of hounds (I mean actual dogs, not jerks) and was a cash-only institution. This caused a minor financial crisis for Jeba, who had limited cash and also didn't know the PIN number of her credit card. Her dramatic note, scrawled in the margin of my journal entry for that day read "I was doing okay until we got here and I got fucked. By Arnie."
Having settled into our room, I hastily called the bride. The wedding was, after all, a mere day and a half away. Surely there must be drama to get embroiled in. Intrigue! Tears! It was my first time as bridesmaid and I was ready to support.
Me: Hi! We're here! And we're READY FOR ANTHING. Crazy relatives to be managed? Last minute flower emergency? Cold feet?? We can handle it, Jecr! Just point us in the right direction!
Jecr: Lovely. Well . . . why don't I pop 'round and pick you up and then we can go back to my place for a little visit.
I hesitated. Was this code for something? Clearly it was - she just couldn't talk about it over the phone. Poor Jecr.
Me: (sympathetically) Suuuuuuuuuure. You pop on 'round. We'll be here.
Jeba jostled my elbow.
Jeba: (stage whisper) Ask her about laundry! I'm starting to smell myself!
Me: Oh, Jecr, we wanted to do some laundry sometime tomorrow - before the rehearsal, of course! What time is that going to be?
Jecr: Rehearsal? Ha ha. Are you doing a show?
Me: Ha ha ha. Your wedding rehearsal, silly.
Silence.
Me: You . . . ARE having a wedding rehearsal . . . aren't you?
Jecr: Pffft.
To this day, Jecr remains the most laid-back bride I have ever had the pleasure of bridesmaiding for. Any more laid-back and she'd've been in a coma. And guys, I don't think she was secretly panicking and putting on a brave exterior; she was clearly very pleased to be marrying Roch, but seemed genuinely unruffled by the whole bride experience. I was more ruffled than Jecr. And all I had to do was show up.
In the absence of the anticipated chaos, we hooked up with Caho, the other Canadian bridesmaid and had some leisurely tea with Jecr and her wry and humourous mother Frcr, while we helped to open, catologue, covet and, it must be said, occasionally mock the wedding gifts. We unpacked our bridesmaid's dresses to shake the wrinkles out and tried to figure out how to keep the cats from chewing through them before the big day. And then Jecr gave us our wings.
They were simple, the wings. Just some white nylon stretched over wire with silver sparkles as "feathers" and long silver cords hanging off each wing with a tinkly bell at the end. They were very light.
We strapped 'em on. The wings, I mean. They bobbed when we walked (still the wings) and the bells tinkled a little. "Cool," said Jecr and nodded approvingly.
As we all got ready to leave for the evening, we asked a few more questions about the actual wedding, which was taking place the day after next. The answers were alarmingly vague. We knew the wedding was at Belfast City Hall at 2 p.m. the day after next. We knew we were wearing wings. We knew that Roch's sister Cach would be the third bridesmaid. That was about it.
"Well," we said, as we prepared to leave, "is there anything we should do . . . tomorrow?"
"Well, the two families are having dinner and then we're all gathering at this pub. We should be there around 8, so you should meet us there."
Jeba and Caho's boyfriend Barty brightened when they heard about the pub.
"Oh, by the way," Jecr said to me on our way out, "Roro, you are chief bridesmaid. So you must sit at the head table and be in charge of the wedding rings and make a speech. Okay, see you tomorrow then!"
Oh my god. YEEEEEEEEEEEAH! That's right! My first bridesmaiding gig and I totally make "chief"! I was pumped. Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!
Wait a minute. Speech?