Jet-setting Katr gets to go to the BlogOn conference here in New York City for a few days! And I get to tag along with her, thus continuing two of the integral roles I play in our relationship:
a) the adorable, clueless asker of stupid and/or complicated questions at completely stressful/inappropriate times; and
b) purse sherpa.
I have never been to New York and my more savvy friends were full of advice on how to spend our few precious days here. Obviously, seeing as how I like el teatro, the idea of seeing a show here crossed my mind; but when you’re in town on Sunday, Monday and leave Tuesday and you’re on a budget and you haven’t had time to do a lot of research on what’s playing - the pickin’s, they are slim. I whacked a kid in the head with my bag by accident while he was singing a song from The Lion King, which is playing near our hotel - I think that’s as close as we’re getting to the big shew on this trip. Next time - for sure.
What we DID do was hit the DigitalLife Expo at the Javits Center, where Katr bought the hottest laptop bag I have ever seen. GOD, I lust after that bag. She’s promised to post pictures of it on her blog, so keep your eye out. HOT.
Once the excitement there got to be too much for us, we went down to Soho to check out the entirely delightful Housing Works Used Book Café on Crosby Street, where Chezza volunteers. I bought a book on adventure racing (I don’t want to BE an adventure racer, I just want to play one on tv) and a latté. And it was then that the cramps hit.
Good Places to Take a Dump in Soho When You Are the Victim of Intestinal Distress:
1. Housing Works Used Book Café
2 separate johns, unisex, equipped with fans. 2 johns are advantageous if you need to spend alot of time in one of them reading your adventure racing book - you don’t feel as guilty hogging one if there are two.
2. The Butterfly Grill on Bleecker Street
Our party, Chezza, Katr, Juwe and Chezza’s friend whose last name I don’t know, so we’ll have to call her Boedy, all agree that dinner kinda blew. Perhaps “blew” is too strong a word - it was just very bland. But the bathroom was a dream stop on my Ring of Fire tour. Fan? Check. Mirror high enough up that you don’t have to look at yourself while it’s happening? Check. Glade? Check. The only downside is that it’s the only washroom on the premises, which led to what I like to call “ladies shitter hogging anxiety". Fortunately, I was undisturbed during my visit there. Unfortunately, I forgot my adventure racing book at the table.
3. The Crate & Barrel on Broadway and Houston
I didn’t actually have to go in, but Chezza assures me that the bathrooms on the 2nd floor are great. Also, when I was doing a search just now, I found out that Crate & Barrel also has changing tables in the men’s room, for dads changing babies. Rock on!
Worst Place to Take a Dump When You Are the Victim of Intestinal Distress:
1. The Empire State Building
Holy God. We knew it would be busy but at 7:30 on a Sunday night, we didn’t think it would be THAT busy. How wrong we were. Silly, silly tourists.
There aren’t many public bathrooms in the Empire State Building. It seems there are two and no one seems to know how to get to them. By the time we got there, the worst was over from an intestinal distress point of view but there were still a few moments where I wondered if I was about to have a Margaret Cho Persimmons Diet type mishap as we waited in the line up to ascend. Unlike the time I actually heard Margaret Cho’s persimmons diet story and laughed so hard I nearly puked and thought “It’s okay! I have a plastic bag in my knapsack! If I need to puke, I can whip out the bag!", this time, I had no plastic bag. And if I had, what would I have done with it? Quietly crap into it and pretend to the people in line around me that nothing out of the ordinary was happening? I guess we’ll never know.
Fortunately for you, gentle readers, I have to stop for now. Perhaps later, I’ll have time to tell you the story of how I got to explain the gender politics of lesbianism to the very cute latin gentleman who was hitting on me on 5th Avenue. In closing, I would offer this piece of hardy traveller advice: Don’t buy a “chai latte” at a place called Chock Full o’ Nuts, even if you just buy it ‘cause you want change for the adjacent internet cafe. It’s, uh . . . it’s just wrong.
Comments:
You got hit on by a latin guy? Damn it. I never get hit on by latin guys. Life is so unfair sometimes!
Comment by drew — Tuesday, October 18, 2005 @ 12:35 am
Now I have to go home and read ‘the big one’…
Comment by ers — Tuesday, October 18, 2005 @ 1:57 pm
i am so jealous…not of the latin guy like drew seems to be but of the whole ny trip in general. I’ve never been but it’s on the “list” of must do’s before I croak.
Comment by jen — Tuesday, October 18, 2005 @ 6:22 pm
Drew - that’s a real shame. We could all use a little Latin in us. If you know what I mean. And I think you do.
Jen, I know what you mean - I always wanted to go, but never got around to actually planning a trip! Just goes to show that if you hem and haw long enough, your partner will get to go to a conference and take you along. Not all life lessons involve proactivity. HA ha! When you get there, I recommend getting yourself some really great walking shoes. It’s all about the walking. Ooo, and the shopping. More on that later.
Ers, uh . . . do you mean “Big Boy” by Mr. Sedaris? ‘Cause if not, and there’s a story called “The Big One", I need to get in on that.
Comment by Rose — Thursday, October 20, 2005 @ 3:27 am