Katr and I are big on celebrating anniversaries. Any excuse for a party, really - we celebrate our first-contact-a-versary, our first meet-a-versary, our condo-purchase-a-versary, and sometimes, if we’re feelin’ sappy, each week-a-versary. Because we’re sappy, sappy lesbians.
Last year, for our 1 year first-contact-a-versary, we decided to do something extra special to commemorate the blooming of our lurve. So we made a reservation, got all dressed up and experienced the tasting menu at a local dining establishment of unparalleled excellence. This year, however, we found ourselves out of town for our 2nd first-contact-a-versary and enjoyed our special dinner at an establishment that boasts more “ho cuisine” than “haute cuisine". Because I love them so, a comparison:
Susur, Toronto vs. Jack Astors, Brampton
Susur: Tiny sign on front of restaurant barely visible. Silver, with black engraving. All lower case letters. Elegant. Subtle. Sublime.
Jack Astors: Big red and white neon sign with a cartoon “jackass” on the right hand side. Get it? In case you don’t, part of the sign flickers out from time to time so that it reads “JACK ASS".
Susur: Subdued decor, white linen, light sculpture.
J.A.: Crayons on the table.
Susur: Our server tonight is Piers, who is elegant and refined and somehow makes us feel elegant and refined as well. As if he’s casting an aura of elegance and refinement around us. A big aura, because we’re creampuffs.
J.A.: Our server tonight is Kyle, who writes his name on our table with a crayon.
Susur: Appetizer - lobster gelée / poached lobster / crème fraîche
J.A.: Appetizer - Crabby Dip with Pita
Susur: Katr and I hold hands across the table.
J.A.: Katr and I hold hands furtively under the table, ‘cause - BRAMPTON.
Susur: 2nd course - hot foie gras: seared foie gras/ spice shortbread tart filled with duck confit / roasted apple / umé / foie gras reduction
J.A.: 2nd course - salad that tastes like the bag it came in. Ranch dressing.
Susur: Piers sees our cards to each other on the table and asks if tonight is a special occasion. We tell him that it is our anniversary and he is effusive in his congratulations.
J.A.: Kyle sees the heart I’ve drawn on the table with crayons, in which I’ve written “Roro + Katr [that cheesy symbol for “forever” you learned in 3rd grade]". Kyle looks away and tells himself that we’re probably just old school chums. Who like to hold each other.
Susur: 3rd of 7 courses - soy marinated rock bass / lily bulb purée / squid Ink tuille / dashi black truffle vinaigrette
J.A.: Main course - Kickin’ Club Sandwich with Chipotle Mayo. Chipotle! Chipotle! (I like to scream it out, which they encourage at Jack Astors)
Susur: When the wait staff see that you are on your way to the ladies room, they step aside smartly to let you pass. If one of them happens to be near the door to the ladies’ room as you approach, they will hold the door open for you. In your absence, they push your chair in a little bit and fold your napkin neatly by your place.
J.A.: Kyle doesn’t know where the john is.
Susur: Dessert - apple chiffon cake / vanilla anglaise / soft whipped cream / black berry preserve / calvados and rosemary jelly / passion fruit and blackberry glaze / orange-fig ice cream with mint
J.A.: Dessert - Jack’s Apple Pie, which is basically a ramekin of apple pie filling covered by a slab of pastry and a scoop of French Vanilla ice cream. I’d like to complain more about it, but really, it was pretty good. Although we were sad when we discovered that pastry was only on TOP of the apples and not BELOW. Those apples were loose, guys. LOOSE.
It may sound like I’m shitting on poor Jack Astors but truth be told, I have a weakness for the big box restaurant. It must be my suburban Edmontonian roots - growing up, independent restaurants were all well and good, but really, I just wanted the popcorn shrimp at Red Robin. Also, once you’ve eaten at Susur, will anything else ever measure up? Of course not. So why fight it? Maybe next year we’ll have our 3 year first-contact-aversary at the Mandarin Buffet, maybe Swiss Chalet the year after that and for our 5 year first-contact-aversary, we’ll be holding hands and pitching woo at Taco Bell. I’d better make a reservation now - that place fills up pretty fast on Chalupa Wednesdays.
Comments:
Congratulations, Katr & Roro!
Mmm. Popcorn shrimp. I miss those days before anyone ever uttered the word “carb", those days of free refills, of Jubey asking for a to-go cup for her free refill of diet Coke…
Maybe you should both come to NYC for your three year contact-aversary? We have much to offer here! Dylan’s Candy Bar, Serendipity ("frozen hot chocolate"), a restaurant devoted entirely to forty varieties of rice pudding, several restaurants devoted to nothing but dumplings, dozens of Burritovilles…By then I hope to have escaped hell and moved to Brooklyn, where I will try very hard to blend in with the hipsters, and the guest futon will await you! File in the back of your lovely minds…
Comment by Chezza — Thursday, May 26, 2005 @ 2:25 am
Yeah … we are SO not ending up at the Mandarin. Holy-hannah. I’m still holding out for a belated anniversary celebration at Canoe.
Comment by Queen Katicus — Thursday, May 26, 2005 @ 3:24 am
Hey, what about our anniversary?
Comment by bill — Thursday, May 26, 2005 @ 4:36 am
Bill, you’re right - 31 years of marriage! Congratulations!! The fact that you guys took a transformative trip to Greece this year around the time of your anniversary gives me hope that Katr and I won’t spend OURS at Arby’s.
Comment by Rose — Thursday, May 26, 2005 @ 5:14 pm