Well, they’re onto us. It only took a year and two months for the condo board to notice that the covering on our bedroom window is in contravention to Section IV, Subsection 3(b) of the Corporation’s Declaration, which states:
"The owner of each dwelling unit and the tenants and residents of each dwelling unit shall install a backing material of a white or off-white colour on each curtain or drapery which may be visible from outside the unit through a door or window of the unit.”
So, guys . . . no tinfoil, then?
We didn’t set out for our bedroom window to look like a trailer park. But when we first moved into the place, the only window coverings were these curling, fabric, completely ineffectual vertical blinds that fell off if you breathed on them. We’d just bought the place and renovated it and bought a bunch of new furniture and we were tapped out financially, so blinds fell to the bottom of the list, after things like “food” and “tequila".
Living downtown, the light pollution is like a kick in the head, especially with the new t.v.-showing billboard nearby, splashing gold, crimson and tits, TITS!!! all over your face as you attempt to sleep. Because I am a sloth, I still managed to sleep most nights but poor Katr couldn’t cope. She tried sleep masks. Then she tried other sleep masks. Then she tried sleeping pills. Then the “somnea” line from Fruits & Passions, all to no avail.
So one evening last February, I was putting together some more IKEA furniture while watching Bridget Jones (because her bumbling makes me feel all competent and butch while I’m building something) and it struck me that a suitably bumbling Bridget Jones thing to do would be to take the smooth white packing paper from the IKEA box and tape it up on the window. And then, and ONLY then, would I cover the paper (on the inside, you understand) with tinfoil. Well, it was harder to do than you would think and it looked TERRIBLE, but it worked like a dream!! Katr had her first good night’s sleep in months.
The tinfoil was only supposed to be up for a couple of days, until the weekend when we could go get some blinds. But you know . . . stuff happened and it didn’t look too bad from outside and it was working so well the way it was . . . so we left it! Ha! Even last spring when we bought new blinds for the living and dining room, we thought “Fuck it - we’ll do the bedroom when we can afford it.” Meanwhile, gang, the once-pristine paper was yellowing in the sun. Condensation on the paper caused it to sag in an unmistakably papery way. And in order to get the window open, Katr had peeled back some of the foil, so on my way home the last few weeks, I’ve started to notice a tell-tale hint of silver glinting from that window. I knew the end of our time with the foil was nigh.
The angry letter from the condo corporation says that we have 10 days to comply with Section IV, Subsection 3(b) or else . . . what? Part of me, the rebellious creampuff part, wants to engage in a game of chicken with the board but I know that the keener part of me will win out. Don’t bother calling this weekend. We’re going to buy blinds.
Comments:
I think the Condo board could use a little ‘Sic Soc’ action - if you know what I’m sayin’.
Comment by Berin — Thursday, April 14, 2005
I DO know what you’re sayin’. Hmmm . . .
Comment by Rose — Thursday, April 14, 2005
Maybe if you coated the street facing side of the foil white…
Comment by d — Tuesday, April 19, 2005