Creampuff Revolution

Creampuff Did Some Knitting

The time has come, the Walrus said, for Roro to post a bunch of photos of her knitting. I somehow managed to get through much of last year without posting much of my lumpy crap but it's happening now, so GET READY. Or click away now, I will not blame you.

(All the links to patterns are Ravelry links, so if you're not on Ravelry, you might as well be dead.)

Green Tea Highline

Several years ago, I knit myself a scarf and I've worn that thing to shreds. I decided it was time to knit myself something new and bigger and maybe green. Mission. Accomplished.

This thing took me several months - I had to knit it with the lights on and also, alone because I had to count out loud. It's like the scarf the shortbus knit. But it is very warm and also, smells lovely because of the silk.

Highline in Green Tea Aran Silky Merino from Sundara Yarn

Dr Jacks' Scarf

Young Dr. Jacks and her fella T-Bone totally screwed us a couple of years ago when they decided that pursuing their dreams of non-profit do-gooding in Newfoundland was more important than staying in Vancouver to have Games Nights with us. I know, right? Those selfish douches. 

Before they left, I let Dr. Jacks peruse my yarn stash as I thought it would be nice to knit her something - it is cold in Newfoundland and it's nice to have layers, for protection from the chill and also for all the weeping she'd be doing missing Katr and me. I think this photo, with the dog's ass and my chin hair tweezers, really speaks to how special this project was. I am all class.

Fortunately, Dr. Jacks IS actually all class and emailed me a photo of herself wearing the scarf - basically the nicest thing you can do for a knitter who has knitted you something. This almost makes me forgive Dr. Jacks for abandoning us. ALMOST.

Old Shale Scarf  in A Step in Time sock from Sundara Yarn

Elopement Socks

When I found out that our dear friends Doai and Elai were eloping this summer, elopement socks seemed like the obvious choice. Since they were eloping to Vegas, I briefly thought about elopement pasties instead, but that seems like more of a crochet project.

When I gave them their socks, they had about 10 seconds to react before I manhandled them into their socks for pictures.

"Here are some socks to celebrate your love!! All about your love! Just let me get a photo for my blog."

HA ha! I love you guys. And you have very shapely feet, the pair of you.

Waving Lace Socks in Sugarplum sock from Sundara Yarn

Undulating Rib Socks in Aged Oak Barrel sock from Sundara Yarn

Jech's Scarf

As some of you may recall, Jech knit me the most awesome scarf in all of existence several years ago and since I've learned to knit, I've been meaning to knit her a scarf too.

Since mine could never hope to achieve the heights of awesomeness that hers attained, I decided to go with something frothy and lacy instead. The colourway was Sea Storm, which reminded me of Ireland, where Jech lives and also Wesley and his "eyes like the sea after a storm" from The Princess Bride, one of Jech's favourite books/movies! It was like it was meant to be! Except for the part where the only photo I took of it was this crappy one.

Luscious Lace Scarf in Sea Storm merino lace from Viola Yarn

Patr's Flamingo Mittens

Katr's mom Patr has a thing for flamingos. She has them all over her house in various forms - and at Christmas, she has an entire white tree with pink lights and nothing but flamingo ornaments. HARD. CORE.

So naturally, whenever we see anything with flamingos on it - pyjamas, glassware, tote bags, underwear - we snap it up and send it off to her. 

When I saw SpillyJane's pattern for flamingo mittens, my mission was clear. This was my first colourwork project and I have to say, it turned out pretty well. Also, Patr was thrilled with them, which made it all worthwhile. She thought that I created the pattern too, so...shhhh. I want her to keep liking me.

This in-progress shot turned out much better than the finished product shot...

Flamingo Mitts in Grapevine and Guava sock from Sundara Yarn

Jane's cowl

I wanted to make our yoga teacher Jane a cowl for Christmas. She bikes a lot and likes to layer and also, she is quite petite, so I reasoned that it wouldn't take very long, what with her slim neck and tiny head. Well, the joke was on me because it took a really long time but it's okay, because I was all namaste about it.

Okay full disclosure - I probably would have finished it faster, but I got Kingdom Rush on my iPad and all knitting stopped for several days while I defended my kingdom from the incoming hordes.

I went through a couple of different patterns but nothing really worked with the yarn ("Winter Twilight" - it's like it was MADE for yogis), so I gave up and just knit this based on previous hats. It is cozy and look - just in time for snow! 

Cowl I Made Up in Winter Twilight sock from Sundara Yarn

Now that the cowl is finished, a certain Katr will finally get her new fingerless gloves - a project that she guaranteed would jump to the top of my queue when she bought me some of this for Christmas:

Grand Canal of Venice Aran Silky Merino from Sundara Yarn

It's going to be a silky, delicious year, people. I'll keep you posted on any further developments. Because I know you all will be waiting with bated breath.

Creampuff Recap

Oh hi! I didn't see you there. Mainly because I haven't been here in a couple of months. HA ha!

I realize that while most of you are good kind people, you don't really give a shit where exactly I've been or what exactly I've been up to the last couple of months. But one of the great things about having a blog is that it operates as a handy record-keeping device for my rapidly failing memories! What follows is a brief, photo-heavy recap of what the hell has been going on.

1. My short play Anne and Diana Were TOTALLY DOING IT was published in Queering the Way: A Loud n' Queer Anthology! It's a real book - you can buy it and everything.

 They had a book launch here at Little Sister's. Thank you to our super awesome Vancouver friends who came to hear us authors read from the book and who then bought the book and then pretended it wasn't SUPER DORKY to let me autograph the book. I felt like a lesbian rock star.

Also, I got to meet Kim in real life for the first time!  I used to read her blog when she had a blog. She is delightful. It was a magical moment, caught on film. 

2. I got new glasses. See above.

3. We had my family over to eat turducken for Thanksgiving. Yes, that's right - a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. Holy fuck was it ever good. Sadly, we didn't get any good photos of the unsliced turducken and once it's sliced open, it looks like an autopsy. But I DO have a cute photos of my brother Jaro and his girlfriend Trsm's dog, Jasper, hoping that a little turducken might fall his way.

As you can see, he and Emmy Lou were thick as thieves, if by "thick" you mean "avoided" and by "thieves" you mean "each other assiduously."

Jaro also brought Emmy a new toy. Thanks, Jaro. Really great.

4. I knit! Most of my knitting is SUPER SECRET HOLIDAY KNITTING but this little sweater has already been sent off to its tiny recipient, Charlotte.

5. Roadtrip! Right after Thanksgiving, Katr and I and Emmy Lou drove down to Monterey, CA, where Katr was speaking at a conference. We stopped in Portland, Grant's Pass and Fortuna on the way down and Eureka and back to Portland on the way home. I drove the whole way. With my mind. Katr did what she calls the "actual driving". I have to applaud her efforts, particularly when we visited Crater Lake, now officially the most terrifying, guard-rail free, shoulder-free, sheer-40-foot-drop-on-either-side-of-the-one-lane-road drive of my entire life.

Even though we were both sick the first part of the trip, it was still pretty fun and hilarious, mainly because of the dog.

Emmy Lou was in dog HEAVEN. Car rides! New places to crap! Back in the car! New places to crap! A lake in a crater! The mountains! The sea! The beach! The laundromat! The wharf! The lobby! Every day was a smorgasboard of doggy delight.

Crater Lake (not shown - dog)

Dog on the public beach in Monterey

Dog discovers pelicans on Fisherman's Wharft (not shown - many pelicans)

Dog peering into other people's hotel rooms at the Portola Plaza

Dog exhausted at the Vintage Plaza in Portland

6. Edmonton! After six years of sending pieces off to be performed there, I finally got to actually attend the 20th Annual Loud n' Queer Cabaret, where all of my Anne of Green Gables dreams came true!! My adorable parents came and brought their friends and it was super lovely to see some of my favourite queers in action. Sadly, there are no photos. Like Anne, you will just have to imagine it!

7. Skunk. I finally got a grainy, Lock Ness monster-style photo of the skunk from the safety of my friend Hildy's rental car one night. Look at the SIZE of that thing! It continues to terrorize the neighbourhood.

8. Anniversary! I kinda can't believe that our big gay wedding was four years ago this month. FOUR YEARS! My brother Jaro remembers it like it was yesterday...

We didn't get each other gifts this year - we opted instead to revisit our honeymoon. Stay tuned for photos of me drunk in the pool like this one:

 

 

Creampuff Stitches and Bitches

My birthday fortnight began yesterday with the cutest knitting accoutrements ever!! STITCH MARKERS THAT LOOK LIKE COOKIES from One Elf:

Katr is a saintly wife who not only tolerates my knitting obsession, but actively encourages me by purchasing beautiful yarn and a library of knitting books. Anything to keep me off the pole, I guess.

It occurred to me that it's been quite a while since I've bored you all with photos of my knitting and since it's my birthday fortnight, it seems like now is a good time to whip the yarn out and brag. HA ha! 

Last year, my favourite purveyor of hand-dyed yarn, Sundara Yarn, put out three new colours for spring that were perfect for baby knits - Cherry Blossom, Branches on Winter Sky and New Leaves of Spring. Katr bought me all three!

Good thing she did. I can barely keep up with the fecundity around me. Here are just a few samples:

Little hats.

Little hoodie (I did one in in the blue as well)

As you knitters already know, every time someone sends you a photo of themselves or their baby wearing the thing you knit them, an angel gets their wings (or gets a handjob. Angel's choice). There is no greater gift to the knitter than a picture of your child in their amateurish knitting. So THANK YOU to the three lovely moms who sent me these:

Juku's son Joku:

I like the troubled, thoughtful look on Joku's face, his hand raised as if to say "Mother, honestly. Do you expect me to be SEEN in this?"

Cosm's daughter Olsm:

Hahahaha! Olsm is READY FOR ACTION.

And Elho's son, Edho (all the way in Norway!!!!):

I love how he looks like a jawa spoiling for a fight. "Put 'em up, put 'em up!"

In non-baby knitting, there were a few developments that I neglected to report on at the time. So get ready.

1. I stealth knit Katr Luciana's fingerless mitts this fall for her birthday. She's wearing them right now! Cozy. 

2. I knit Jeba a hat during the Olympics last year! It fits perfectly.

3. It's rare that I show any "work in progress" shots, because I mostly knit for other people, but this bit of awesome is mine! All mine!

It's really really hard to get a good picture of this colour - it's Sundara Yarn Aran Silky Merino in Green Tea and it just glows with good health and antioxidants. I'm embarrassed to tell the expert knitters among you that it takes me about 3 hours to do one of these leaves. Counting - so challenging, especially when you're watching Selling New York. How many hundred square feet? Wait...what row am I on? Shitballs!

I've really been on the knitting train since the holidays and, while I'm still a very slow knitter, my stash is steadily dwindling, in accordance with my New Year's stash reduction resolution. Very exciting! I have several other projects on the go.

But as always, before I start a new project for someone, I make sure to run it by Katr to make sure that the person in question isn't on her knitting shit list.

I primarily knit for others - I enjoy the process of knitting and don't feel the need to hang on to many of my creations. And 99% of the time when I send my crappy knitting out into the world, I get a really lovely thank you from the recipient (and, if I'm super lucky, a picture!). But sometimes...sometimes that doesn't work out. Sometimes the knitting goes unacknowledged or unappreciated. And when that happens, Katr, who watches me knit something for hours and hours, and dries my tears when things go horribly wrong, quietly adds that person to a list of people I'm no longer allowed to knit for.

That's love.

 

Happy New Year & Creampuff Miscellany

So it turns out that, just as "fervently wishing for the holidays to begin" doesn't actually speed up time, being "in denial that the holidays are over" does not cause time to stop.

I hope you all had really lovely holidays - for me, it was a glorious time of family, friends, food and TV firelogs and I enjoyed it immensely and would really like to be spending all day every day alternately knitting, reading, eating bonbons, napping and learning the secrets of my brand new Mac (don't look at me like that - I HAD to get it. My Dell was making uncomfortable noises, like it had mainlined several street burritos and the blue screen of death appeared more than once. It was time.)

As is my yearly wont, I decided to check out my New Year's post from last year to see what was what and was disappointed to see that I'd only accomplished and/or addressed two of my five resolutions:

1. No death - well, that didn't work out. My grandpa passed away in May. But 2011 - NO DEATH!!

2. Move - CHECK.

3. Don't learn to drive - CHECK-A-ROONIE.

4. Finish Padu's sweater and other outstanding knitting projects - CHE...ck. Well, here's what happened with that - after 3 years of knitting this endless fucking sweater, I stored the front and back of it in a bag while I worked on the first sleeve. The sleeve wasn't going well - it's like moths had gotten into the ball of yarn I was using and I kept finding suspicious weak spots too late, which meant that the sleeve was full of little knots and wispy bits of shittied up yarn. THEN, when I removed the sweater pieces from the bag (months later), I discovered that the bag had off-gassed into the sweater pieces and the sweater now smelled like it was constantly farting motor oil.

I aired it out for days on end - nothing.

At this point, I started to wonder if I should just call it a day - the sweater reeked, it was too long in the front, I started it so long ago that it was no longer in style AND also, I fucking just fucking hated it. 

Knitting something you fucking hate for someone you totally love makes no goddamn sense. So I gave up and knit Padu a scarf with the leftover good, sweet-smelling yarn instead. I finished it while he was here for the holidays! It's very fetching, no?

I also finished the socks I'd been knitting my brother's girlfriend since July of 2009! She was very appreciative and very kindly took some knit porn photos for me. Such shapely feet.

5. Finish my stupid play that's set in the Yukon - Not yet. How long does it take to write a light, comedic one-act play? Four years, apparently. I have no real excuse here - I had a deadline to finish it, then got sick and missed the deadline and then the Olympics and then we moved and then I ceased to care. But I came across it the other day when I was moving files around and decided that it couldn't go the way of Padu's sweater (which I plan to burn in the yard - there will be photos, so get ready).

I'm not going too nuts with the resolutions this year because that way lies insanity and disappointment, followed by binge drinking and recrimination. In the place of grand, sweeping plans, I have reasonable ideas, such as:

1. Weekly blogging. 'Cause if you're going to pay for your blogging software, you should actually use it. 

2. Word of the Day writing project. I signed up for A Word A Day and am spending 15 minutes a day writing whatever crap I feel like, based on whatever the word of the day is. We'll see how long THAT happens but it's three days in and so far, it's ALL GOLD. And by "all", I mean "total" and by "gold", I mean "wank".

3. Watch less tv. I LOVE tv. Love it. But when I caught myself looking at the amazing pile of great books I got for Christmas during a break in Millionaire Matchmaker last night, I thought "Maybe I should read a book." Of course, I could record Millionaire Matchmaker, fast forward through the ads and then that's an extra 15 minutes for reading right there.

4. Smell fantastic. Santa loaded me up with every Christmas-scented item philosophy ever produced and I can't lie - I'm a little obsessed. Should I scrub with Gingerbread today? Is it a Sugary Cinnamon Icing kind of evening? Does my Peppermint Bark lipgloss clash with my Vanilla Cardamom body butter? I don't want to smell like an idiot. Since I had to go gluten-free last summer, it's become clear that whiffing of cupcakes is the next best thing. 

5. Reduce the stash. Don't tell anyone this but...I like to watch Hoarders because it makes me feel good about myself and my personal level of clutter. Still, there's always room for improvement - so I have officially quit making Katr buy me yarn until I've cleared out a reasonable space in the large, three-drawer Rubbermaid dresser I have my stash stuffed into. So you know what that means - more photos of knitting! I know you're excited, so don't pretend like you're not.

Okay, that's five. I could go on, but Millionaire Matchmaker is just starting. Happy New Year to you all - and may your resolutions be reasonable!

Creampuff and Her Luge Suit Ready for 2010

I don’t know what it is about a new decade but as 2010 kicks off I feel like anything’s possible. Time to burnish the triumphs and slough off the failures of the Naughts and hurtle forward into a future we all hope will FINALLY include jet packs. I have my luge suit on and the sky’s the limit!

Of course, our internet’s not working right now, so it’s possible no one will ever read this.

I have to say that 2009 was a great year in many ways, but I’m still glad to see the back of it, particularly due to the high death rate. First we lost my uncle suddenly in August and then on December 27th, my grandma Bea passed as well.

Grandma was 87 and her final illness was relatively short, so you have to give it up for a long life well-lived.

I have a lot of great stories about my grandma Bea, but probably my favourite is when she met my grandpa Pat for the first time. They met at a dance. He told her his name was Michael O’Donnell – and she told him her name was Lee Gordon. Clearly they were meant to be together; but the fact that they’d given each other entirely fake names – like, not even close to their real names - the night they met made it extremely challenging for him to track her down. Lucky for their subsequent 7 children, 16 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren, he managed to find her. Way to go, Michael O’Donnell!

They were married for nearly 65 years and while Grandpa is handling the loss with his usual honesty and grace, I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to lose your partner of 65 years. So we are sending him lots of love.

The fam headed out to the frozen tundra of Calgary for the funeral on Wednesday and it was snowy and frosty and incredibly gorgeous. I had been pining for snow a little this time of year, as I am wont to do, so I have to thank Granny for that little taste of White Christmas. But, as one of my many aunts said when we got to the church, “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

I wasn’t keen on resolutions last year as I recall – in fact, I don’t think I made any on my blog at all – but after the death-fest that was 2009, I think my first resolution for 2010 is:

1. No death. Just…stop it, people.

2. Move. After 3.5 years of ambivalence, I think we’re finally starting to get the hang of Vancouver. But we’re STILL biznitching about our neighbourhood and how it’s not very neighbourhood-y and how I see a lot of penis in the neighbourhood because crackheads like to whip it out. So after the Olympics, we’re gonna be out of here faster than a crackhead’s wang! I hope.

3. Don’t learn to drive. Shhh – I’m trying reverse psychology. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

4. Finish Padu’s sweater and other outstanding knitting projects. I bought the yarn for Padu’s sweater in 2007 and started it in 2008. I finished the back around this time last year and I finished the front a couple of weeks ago. Just 2 sleeves and a collar to go. THIS IS THE YEAR! Also, I’d like to finish that poncho I started back in 2007. And the Embossed Leaves socks I started this summer.

5. Finish my stupid play that’s set in the Klondike. I finished a strong draft of my OTHER lesbonic historical fiction play earlier this year but only because the literary manager at the Shaw Festival said she’d read it (which reminds me, I haven’t heard back from her. HA ha! It’s been a few months…perhaps it’s time for some Happy New Year harassment). Anyway, I’ve been sitting on this half-finished Klondike thing for, like, three years. I think it might actually be a radio play, but I won’t know for sure unless I ACTUALLY FINISH IT. And I’d like to get it out of the way to make brain room for my latest brilliant idea which I’m convinced to SO brilliant that I can’t tell anyone else about it in case they steal it. All I’m going to say is plane crash, polar bears, Others and an impenetrable mythology that goes on for six crazy seasons. I KNOW! It’s going to be a winner. Shhhhhh.

I could go on, but that would cut down on my “reading your resolutions on your blog” time and no one wants that. I wish you all a healthy, frisky and fabulous 2010! Just keep your hands off my luge suit.

Creampuffs Return to the Grind

6:00 a.m. is not the same as 9:00 a.m.

For one thing, it's a lot earlier. For another, I'm not really done sleeping. Thirdly, not only is it too dark to knit, but I no longer seem to have a full 8 hours a day to devote to that pursuit. I KNOW! Shitballs. This "back-to-work" stuff blows.

In other news, we have returned from fair Victoria, where we made out like bandits at Second Christmas! We felt quite spoiled by our books, dvds, extremely pricey face cream, and, of course, Santa's favourite stocking stuffer - the Clinique bonus. Among our gifts, I presented my father with the gift of several weeks of my slow slow knitting, resulting in - handknit socks!

He was kind enough to model them for me. Such a handsome foot!

We had a delightful time in Victoria, gorging on cheese and figs, watching the dog run free in the park and creating a new DC Comic series entitled Batman vs. The Widdler after Emmy Lou decided to take a big whiz in my parents' master suite. She was clearly exhausted after her crime.

We were a little concerned when we heard about all the snow happening in Vancouver and while she listened politely, I got the feeling my mom thought we were just being pussies. There was no snow in Victoria - surely we were exaggerating our piles of snowy troubles for effect (as she knows I am wont to do).

So when we hit some awesome blizzardation on the way home from the ferry last night, I was compelled to film it. It's almost as good as my seal oeuvre - ALMOST.

Happy Creampuff New Year!!

Oh, my lovelies. Love, sloth, bad weather and good eatin' - words cannot express the bliss we have experienced over the last week. It took awhile for us to remember how to not work, but after a day or two of hard slogging, we really found our "do nothing but what pleases" groove.

Emmy Lou has a new reindeer friend. Reindeer looks...nervous.

A delightful view of the snow covered city from our balcony, before it started raining and the combined icy crusted snow and slippery slush began to suck my will to live and ruin every dog walk.

Katr's giant atlas. I don't know why.

Three of my Sundara Yarn Seasons Collection booty from Katr (the fourth has already been commandeered for sockal purposes) - I made out like a bandit! A yarn bandit. A yarn bandit who wound 2200 yds of yarn into balls while watching 6 hours of Pride & Prejudice. A very tired yarn bandit. P.S. I just joined Ravelry as "Creampuff" - perhaps I'll see some of you there?

Dog - tree - fire roaring on the t.v. Aaaah yes. Perfection.

I hope you all had an equally felicitous holiday week of joy and fruitcake!

We were meant to cap our week of sloth with a visit from Katr's brother Drtr - sadly, a tree fell on his car during a windstorm in PA a couple of days ago (he was not inside the car at the time) and he couldn't make it up to Toronto in time to make his flight. Our hearts were as crushed as his hatchback - but we hope he can come do our every bidding for a visit sometime soon! Meantime, we are heading over to Victoria for second Christmas tomorrow, where the dog can finally run free and my family has promised to cheer Katr with impressions of her brother.

Happiest of New Years to you all! It's been a delightful break from the computer, but I must say I'm deeply looking forward to catching up on all of your 3-day eggnog bender antics! Huzzah 2009!

Knucks Leave Creampuff Knackered

NB: This post is about knitting. Knitting for love. And if you still don't care, then you're DEAD INSIDE.

November 1st marked the first day of Katr's Birthday Month and I wanted to kick it off with a warm and snuggly gift that said "Here's the thing I promised I would knit you months ago! To keep your hands warm while you're typing! The things that you've watched me knit every night for weeks! That you picked out the yarn for! Yeah! Surprise!"

The great thing is that she DID act surprised and delighted when I presented her with her gift - a pair of her very own Knucks. You'll notice in the photos below that I didn't do any embroidery on the knucks, because embroidery is for the weak. And by "the weak", I mean, "people who actually know how to embroider."

Katr's Birthday Month Knucks

Pre-assembly shots - I had to label each finger. Because counting stitches is for douchebags.

If I was making Knucks for Michael Jackson, I'd be done by now. Ha ha ha! Ha HA!

Gratuitous yarn shot - thanks for the lovely yarn, Jech!!

Knucks avec gorgeous hand model

Katr gleefully put on the knucks and toddled off to her computer, to enjoy their warm, snuggly goodness. Seconds later, we learned that:

1) Typing with knucks on is like spelunking for your date's nipples under a padded bra (not impossible, but difficult); and

2) It's really the tips of your fingers that get cold. That's right. The parts of your fingers that will never be covered by knucks.

Sorry, Katr. But at least you'll fit right in with the gang in my new adaptation of Dickens' classic Oliver Twist entitled "Please Sir, May I Know Where You Got that Fabulous Cerulean Cravat?"

Speaking of homos, have no fear Padu - I'm still working on your sweater:

Creampuff Experiences First World Problem

It's a good thing most of you were up already - otherwise my howls of agony may have awoken you from your sweet, gentle slumber. Because at 6:12 a.m. on this frigid dark morning, I discovered that our Black & Decker Versa Brew coffee machine, which I prepped last night, was no longer working.

I wish I had a good story to tell you about the coffee machine. I wish I could tell you that it went down fighting - that I plugged it in and heard a roar, that glass shattered, sparks came out of its ass and that a harsh voice filled the kitchen saying "I reclaim this machine for my people!"

The reality is that I plugged it in and pressed the on/off switch only to find that the button was...flaccid and unresponsive. I proceeded to do what any considerate lover would. I plugged it into a bunch of different sockets. I fiddled and jiggled and coaxed and encouraged. I used a variety of exciting instruments to perk it up, to get it clicking again...to put the snap back in its turtle. And then when my efforts were met with naught, I gave up and loudly berated it for its weakness.

I'm ashamed to say that I called it a cheap piece of shit. Which is true, but still...a low blow. Particularly since I bought it specifically for its cheapness nearly two years ago and until this morning it worked just fine.

We've rummaged through our obligatory lesbian tea cupboard and unearthed some caffeinated tea - chai for Katr, China Black for me. And while the sudden and unexplained demise of the Versa Brew was extremely distressing in the short term, I suppose that when my wrath subsides, I will appreciate the opportunity to get a better, more versatile coffee machine. You know, "for the office".

In the meantime, the only soothing balm I had was this post on BLIOTD, which contains not only cute pictures of an adorable child wearing a hat I knit, but praise for the hat itself, which appears to have grown with the baby. Thanks to BL's Male Handler for brightening a very dark Monday.

Overheard on Creampuff's Roadtrip - Choose Your Own Adventure

For the 12 year olds:

Scene: Our vehicle, 2:30 p.m. on our way from San Francisco, CA to Eugene, OR.

While Hungry Like a Wolf blares on the radio, I let out a silent, putrid belch borne of the Indiana Jones Whopper I had for lunch in Weed, CA. Katr fixes me with a withering glare.

Katr:  Holy. SHIT.

Me: I know. This Indy burger keeps producing sequels.

Simon Le Bon: Mouth is ALIVE with juices like WINE and I'm hungry like a wollll-

Me: If the franchise has one more release, I'm gonna have to start charging admission. But kids will still get in fr...

(rest of my sentence  drowned out by Katr rolling down my window on the highway)

For the knitters:

Scene: Our vehicle, 3:00 p.m., after leaving the Tom Bihn factory and showroom in Seattle where we got an amazing personal tour and left with many bags.

Katr: I can't believe you talked them into giving you that Swift Knitting Bag.

Me: I know. Pull over so I can look at it again!

Katr: How about you take a break from using your mind to drive the car and use it to picture the bag instead?

Me: Touché.

That's right, knitters - I'm helping to build Katr's Funky, Chic and Cool laptop bag review empire by reviewing - what else? - knitting bags.

And the Swift Knitting Bag by Tom Bihn is the first review up! Here's a quote:

With its clever construction, myriad organizational options and action-oriented name, I predicted that the Swift would take me from knit klutz to knit kninja in seconds. That's right! Knit Kninja! Hear that wooshing sound? That was me, finishing a whole sock before you could turn your head!

I do actually review the bag further down the page. It's a pretty awesome bag. Makes me want to knit things. Like my own shuriken and multiple sets of knunchucks. Kninja!