Creampuff Revolution

Creampuff Can Still Learn New Tricks

NB: This post is a little bit about software. If you don't give a shit - and I don't blame you if you don't - just skip to the end and enjoy being creeped out by the audio clip. Thank you.

I'm going to be teaching Berin the Bintern about Windows Live Writer today.

I don't usually have strong feelings about software one way or another, but I would totally take Windows Live Writer behind the barn and get it pregnant.

Unlike my actual blogging software of choice - Typepad - WLW  never eats my blog posts - it lets me see exactly what my post will look like while I'm actually working on it - it lets me resize photos and video players without me having to poke the html anywhere - and it's FREE. I could go on...but I'll refrain in case children are reading and you don't feel like explaining what "scissoring" is.

In preparation for my tutorial this morning, I thought I should give myself a challenge and try something new with Windows Live Writer - embedding an audio file.

Every year, my brother Jaro calls me on my birthday (in March) and leaves me a message using this creepy pedophile voice. The first year he did it, I was SO creeped out that I actually thought about calling the police because I didn't know it was him. And every year, I threaten to record it and put it on my blog and every year, I end up erasing it - UNTIL THIS YEAR, when Katr made me a copy! And today, I wanted to share it with you. I just needed to figure out how. But I know that WLW would help me figure that out! Right? Right, WLW?

My first moment of malaise occurred when I learned that WLW doesn't have an "insert file" option. Malaise turned to frustration after I conducted an exhaustive search for the right media player plug-in, which needed to be supported by the right freeware, which I couldn't find for PC and which also would have required me to start a Google sites account and become friends with someone called Dr. Knockin' Boots on MySpace.

The above took about an hour. I KNOW. As a total last resort, I typed my conundrum into the Typepad Knowledge Base. Where I was rewarded with the answer to my question in less than a second.

I'm not going to lie to you. I felt betrayed by WLW. Like I'd caught it behind the barn with Tracy Jordan. I don't want to cut it out of my life completely - but I think WLW and I might need to take a break. And maybe this afternoon, I might let Typepad get to second base.

Anyway - here's the clip. Enjoy - especially if it's your birthday!

Photo credit: Just another barn on Flickr by Grant MacDonald

Seeking Simone - Online Dating Has Never Been So Gay

I promised some hot girl-on-girl action, you pervs - here it is. We're launching our new web series, Seeking Simone! Right fuckin' now! Woooo!

The trailer and the first two episodes are up on the Seeking Simone website. And now, for the FAQs:

Q: Uh...what?

A: Yeah, that's right - we made a web series. It's a comedy about a young lesbian - Simone - doing some online dating in Toronto. Please, please watch it.

Q: Is it like Titanic?

A: It is JUST like Titanic, except with no boat and no budget and no one dies, except maybe a little on the inside. Also, it's gay-er. And funnier.

Q: I am a heterosexual. Will I be able to identify with the homosexual humour in Seeking Simone?

A: Yes.

Q: I'm a Buffy fan. Will I like Seeking Simone?

A: YES.

Q: I met (a) met my significant other online (b) have had disastrous online dating experiences which your show inspires me to share. Where can I do that?

A: Visit our Tales of Online Dating page and leave your tale of joy or woe in the comments. Please, please share. We'd love to feature an online dating story on the home page every week and it can't always be mine (or our intern's).

Q: I love Seeking Simone! How can I spread the word?

A: Obviously, we hope you enjoy our little low budget lesbo comedy and feel like sharing it with ... everyone you've EVER MET. If you do, please go ahead and do any or all of the following:

• Get our latest Simone news via RSS - keep up with new episodes and deep, insightful blog posts.
• Follow SeekingSimone on Twitter - we were there before Ellen! But we were there after AfterEllen.
• Friend SeekingSimone on MySpace - all the kidz are doing it!
• Subscribe to SeekingSimone on YouTube - for when you've had enough Dick in a Box.
• Join the Seeking Simone Facebook Fan Page - you know you're there already, playing Pet Society and Bejeweled Blitz. Or is that just me?

Thanks, folks! I promise not to shove my web series down your throat constantly. Love, Creampuff.

Creampuff in the Ring

Remember when I blogged about how I lost my engagement ring? And then I blogged about how Katr surprised me for my birthday with some new garnets for a new ring? And then the high high price of gold surprised us both and I couldn’t really afford a new ring because of my stupid laptop dying?

Well, a little while later, I received a delightful email from Adrianne of the Turtle Love Committee, who had an extraordinary proposal for me. The kind of proposal that involved me getting a beautiful replacement engagement ring that wouldn’t give me a rash! The kind of proposal I jumped at instantly!

As you know, I don’t generally blog about products, because I like to “keep it real”. Also, because no one wants me to blog about their products on my “I shit-bombed the elderly by accident” blog. But I wanted a new ring and I pretty much instantly fell in love with TLC’s engagement and wedding ring philosophy, not to mention their fun website. Plus, as Adrianne pointed out, after my spitting rage over my Dell, it would be nice to blog about something more …positive. Like pretty rings! That don’t require you to sell a kidney!

Here’s a tidbit from TLC’s website:

“Turtle Love Committee sells unconventional wedding and engagement rings for cool people.  The jewelry you select as a public celebration of your relationship sets the tone for the future. The value of the ring should be based on the love and commitment it symbolizes, not the financial expense it represents.  A ring from the collection at Turtle Love Committee is priceless - it represents an emotional commitment, not a financial one.”

Sing it, Turtles! You had me at “cool people.” I spent an obscene amount of time poring over all of the lovely rings on TLC’s site, checking out their blog and giggling over their hilarious “A Diamond is Forever” spoof site, “A Diamond is Expensive”.

As a sidenote - I don’t want to crap on people who love the diamonds. Katr’s engagement ring is a diamond with two peridots and it’s lovely. But I wanted garnets for my engagement ring because diamonds just don’t speak to me. Like Anne of Green Gables, I never aspired to own one - possibly because of Anne and possibly because of the line in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, where Ferris suggests that Cameron’s so tense he could make a diamond with his ass and now I associate diamonds with things that have been up Cameron’s ass.

Naturally, I took forever to decide which ring I loved the most and which would fit best with my wedding band. What colour? What setting? Should I go for “The Claw” or stick with my first love, the bezel? The ever-patient Adrianne got into it with me and together we found the perfect ring – the Sebago, avec garnet!

I figured out my ring size, thanks to their handy ring sizer and a few days ago, my beautiful new ring arrived in a sweet little brown felt pouch:

 

“We put a lot of thought into designing this pouch so that you can put it in your pocket without looking weird.”

Hahahaa! I thought about testing this design by getting Katr to put the pouch in her pocket before presenting me with it, but she wasn’t wearing pants, so there went that. Here, without further ado, is my new ring!

My pudgy Hobbit fingers aside, I think it looks pretty slick. The garnet is a deep, rich red and I kind of can’t stop looking at it. The band is nice and light, plus the whole thing fits perfectly, both on my finger and over my wedding band. And so far, no rash, friends. Score! Basically, the Sebago is awesome and I love it. Thanks, Adrianne and the Turtle Love Committee!!

In other good news this week, I finally got my laptop back from the shop. And it turns out it’s good I got my ring from the Turtle Love Committee, ‘cause I’m going to be eating ramen noodles for the foreseeable future in order to pay for that new motherboard. Mmm…noodles!

Anyway – if you’re getting ready to pop the question – if the question’s been poppped and you want to commemorate it – if you think question popping is meaningless but would still like to sport some relationship or non-relationship bling – basically, if you’re at all in the market for some cool, meaningful jewelry that doesn’t break the bank, check out the fine selection at Turtle Love Committee. And tell ‘em Hobbit Fingers sent you! I can’t guarantee that’ll get you special treatment, but uh…it would be funny.

Creampuff's Questionable Taste

I really love Zip.ca (Canada's polite answer to NetFlix). They send stuff quickly, they have a great selection and every now and then they mail me something I forgot I put on my Zip list but am delighted to see. So it was with the 1984 Dudley Moore hit Micki & Maude.

I was OBSESSED with this movie when I was 10. I watched it endlessly. I knew every line - every shot - every nuance of the soundtrack. I LOVED it. So I was eager to watch it again as an adult, to see if I still thought it was the shit.

Here's the description from the DVD case [SPOILER ALERT]:

Dudley Moore and director Blake Edwards are reunited in this laugh-packed romp about a lovable bigamist [emphasis mine]. TV reporter Rob Salinger (Moore) longs for a baby. But his career-minded wife, Micki (Ann Reinking) is too busy for motherhood. A romantic fling with a seductive cellist, Maude (Amy Irving) leads to her pregnancy. Rob receives another shock when Micki announces that she's also expecting! In love with both women, he marries Maude and starts leading a double life full of complicated and riotous situations. Micki and Maude reaches the heights of hilarity when both women are delivering babies in adjoining rooms while Moore serves double duty as the frantic father-to-be!

In the end, of course, Dudley is caught and Maude & Micki cut him off from seeing the kids. Then he spends the next 20 minutes of the film stalking them; then they both cave and let him back into their lives, each on the condition that he doesn't tell the other wife. The last sequence of the movie is Micki sitting on the bench, a judge at last; Maude playing the cello with the Philharmonic; and Dudley in the park with, like, EIGHT KIDS who are all calling him "Daddy." Hilarious!

When the movie was over, Katr turned me and said "Is there...anything you want to tell me?"

I came across several polygamist sites searching for the DVD cover of Micki & Maude. Polygamists LOVE this movie! But, along with spoiling me on the ending of Anna Karenina, I think the film taught me some questionable life lessons:

1. Lying is HILARIOUS.

2. Dudley Moore is hot.

3. Stalking your exes is the perfect way to get them back.

4. Cellists make $100 a year (when I was 10, I thought this was pretty good).

5. People who work in TV all lead double lives. I'm looking at you, Lloyd Robertson.

6. My parents wouldn't let me watch Little House on the Prairie because it was "too scary". But the lovable bigamist movie was okay. Although perhaps their lack of freakout over the subject matter of this film just made me more open to "alternative lifestyles". My parents are the coolest.

On the other hand, I have to say there were some genuinely funny moments in Micki & Maude. And Amy Irving might have made me a little gayer. And Dudley Moore won a Golden Globe for his performance in Micki & Maude, so I feel that I was not the only person a little too in love with his madcap shenanigans. But then again, I was TEN.

Speaking of madcap shenanigans, I'm going to be in Toronto later this month to film a kicky little web series! Exciting! I'll be more forthcoming with details soon, but suffice to say it's the kind of project every artist dreams of being a part of - the kind that pays in pretzels, beer, good karma and internet fame, but not in actual money. Jealous?

We're starting in three weeks (blaaaaaaaaaaaaaarg) and are in dire need of a few more folks in the area of "crew people with film experience of any kind". So if you're interested in lending your mad skillz to our madcap shenanigan-filled webisodes, drop me a line at rosemaryrowe[at]gmail[dot]com!! 

Warning: no bigamy, but content will be extremely gay.

Go to Hell, Dell (and Other Angry Rhymes)

It was a real shock yesterday when my laptop ended.

It's just a computer. I had most of the important stuff backed up. No one actually died. But it was like losing the key to your bedroom - while also suspecting your bedroom might be on fire. Sure, most of your clothes were in the laundry anyway but there were some good books there! And your bed.

As I said yesterday, as soon as it happened, Katr was all over it, finding help sites and tweeting the fine folks at Dell who are all over the Twitter. I know those folks are busy and I'm sure they tried their best - but after three Twitter handoffs and a couple of emails spread over the better part of the business day, Katr and the Dellers weren't able to come to any sort of resolution vis a vis what the hell to actually do.

In other frustrating news, the basic message we got from the Dell website was:

"We can't help you because your one year warranty has expired. You'll have to pay a fee up front to talk to Dell Support."

To that I say:

Really? Really, Dell? The laptop I bought directly from you 14 months ago goes kablooey through no fault of my own and I can't even ask you what to do about it without paying you first??

I don't feel I'm asking for much, Dell. I don't expect you to fix it for free. All I wanted to know was:

a) Given the information at hand, it seems that the motherboard blew. Do you concur?

b) Where do I take it or send it to be fixed where they won't steal my very important "the time I cracked one off in the elevator"-type data?

When Dell, the people I bought the laptop from, was unable to give me this basic info for free, I moved from the "shock" stage of grief to the "anger".

Hey Dell - did you know that you can chat online with a live geek at Geek Squad without paying a dime? After business hours? A live geek who listens to your problem, asks good questions, tries to help you for free over the chat and then gives you some options for next steps? Well, you can! And now Best Buy is fixing my computer, Dell. Not you. Will it be more expensive than I want and will I end up feeling ripped off? Probably. But at least they told me that for FREE.

(A special note to independent computer repair shops in Vancouver - I really would have preferred to take my sad computer business to you rather than to some behemoth like Best Buy. I WANT to support local business. But your "websites" - when you have your own website - do not inspire confidence. 12 year old girls have MySpace pages that look more professional than your website.)

Anyway, Dell - I really enjoyed my souped up Inspiron 1520 while it lasted. I hope it comes back to me more than a shadow of its former self. Regardless of the outcome of my Geek Squad adventure, however, I just want to confirm that, just as you ceased to be a service provider when my warranty expired, I ceased to be a future Dell customer. Good day.

Sidenote - I don't want to hear any smugness from you Macheads. Katr has a Mac, I like the PC and we need one in the house anyway for testing purposes. So zip it.

In totally unrelated news, did anyone else catch Castle last night? I'm a little alarmed by how charming I found it. I watched, of course, because I will watch anything with hometown stud Nathan Fillion on it. But where I expected to be a little underwhelmed by the predictable premise, tired procedural structure and "unlikely partnership", I totally fucking SWOONED.

I usually dislike the mischevious man-child/straight-laced career woman match up - I always want to knee the guy in the misters for being a jag-off and then berate the woman for being so humourless. But Stana Katic is utterly fucking delightful and I knew Nathan Fillion had scored when Katr said in wondering tones "Who is that guy? Why have we not seen more of him?" EXACTLY.

Sure, there's plenty to complain about - like how all the people of colour are relegated to the 'sassy co-worker' roles as usual and also how Sue Grafton didn't have any lines - but oh, the funny. I ... just forgive so much when it's funny.

Anyway, Fillion fans - fear not the Castle! I myself have accorded it the greatest honour I can bestow - setting it as a series recording on our PVR. That's love.

Creampuff's Inappropriate Behaviour

I participated in a delightful Northern Voice 09  weekend before last and I have it say, it was effing great. Huzzah!

Like last year, I met lots of really interesting, smart, talented people. But I remember last year, my main conference takeaway was that I met Meg Tilly. This year, I think I actually got it. There were some really great talks and panels on stuff I was very interested in. Plus, I seem to have caught everyone's disgusting plague! My suggestion for next year's conference slogan is: Northern Voice 2010 - It's Viral.

The Northern Voice organizers didn't take me up on my offer to speak about how many hot Dawn French pictures you can post on your blog before being sued. But Katr and I were on a panel this year: Social Media Mores for the Modern Couple. HA ha!

The panel was comprised of us, as well as eloquent, talented bloggers Derek Miller and Airdrie Miller. It was moderated brilliantly by Julie Szabo, who asked fantastic questions (ooo, and expertly live-blogged by Raul - thanks, Raul!) and the audience asked awesome questions as well. It was relaxed, fun times. Thanks, awesome people!

As one might expect, Julie, Katr, Derek and Airdrie spent the panel being alternately articulate, witty, honest, thoughtful, heartwarming and heartbreaking...and I sat on the end cracking jokes. In the end, while I had a great time, I don't know that I contributed anything of substance. In view of the giant brains and life experiences of my co-panelists, this was certainly no great loss. But it did get me thinking about how I generally choose hilarity over keeping it real and about the price I may pay for coming off like a frivolous douche. It's a hard life.

So I was thinking about inappropriate behaviour later this week and how it has the potential to hold one back. I know that I am not the only person who struggles to choose between what is appropriate and what is funny. So in an attempt to both monitor my childish impulses and offer some useful tips, I thought I would put together a list of professional "don'ts" for those of you who share my inclination to crack wise when perhaps you should keep your crack to yourself.

My behavioural experiment was helped along by fate - Katr and I were working onsite for a client all last week and it proved an excellent opportunity to quell my instincts!

I'm not saying it wasn't a challenge, but for a whole week, I did not:

• Follow a co-worker to the one-seater bathroom, then say loudly through the door "Whatcha doin' in there?"


• Walk around the office pretending that TimBits were my nipples.


• Click the link when the #2 search result for "abbreviations for measurements" was a site called "Penis Enlargement Gym".


• Yell "I backwashed!!" as my boss took a sip of her coffee.


• Suggest a co-worker set his new password as "H0neybEarb0ng"


• Perform my "I'm Batman!" shadow puppet routine in front of the LCD projector.


• Get Katr up to demonstrate our mastery of the Single Ladies dance routine from the Beyoncé video. Oh, wait...no, we did do that at the office.


• Answer dissenting opinions with "Homo says what?"


• Ask the security guard "Is that a concealed weapon? Or did you just pop a woody?"


• Make tuna melt in the kitchen microwave. No office can come back from hot fish.

All in all, it was a pretty grown-up week - and just in time for my birthday! Which I plan to spend pantsless, face first in an ice cream cake with "Eat Me Bob" written on it. More ice cream - more ice cream, monkeys!

No Luge for Creampuff

I had my Vancouver 2010 volunteer interview and orientation training on Wednesday! I learned a lot of interesting things about the volunteer process that they don't tell you in the FAQs on the Vancouver2010.com site. And I'm going to share them - pass the torch, if you will - with those of you who have yet to attend your interview.

• Your security check will be conducted by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. But note: these officers will not be on actual horses. If you ask them where their horses are, they will not divulge their horse's location. Surprisingly, I made it through the security check.


• There will be a group exercise where you work with a team to accomplish a hypothetical task. Another volunteer will watch the interaction on your team and take the occasional note. When you catch her watching you and say things like "I feel like a rat in a maze! Where's the cheese? Where's the cheese?" and make little "pfft pfft" rat chewy noises, the volunteer will record this.


• They don't let volunteers test the luge track. Not even if you have your own full body spandex outfit. Not even if you tell them you're wearing the outfit right now.


• The position of Quatchi the mascot is not available. Apparently it requires special skills. Apparently, being fat, fuzzy and belligerent are not the skills they're looking for. And no, there is no higher authority you can appeal to.


• We can put a man on the moon but we can't make decent coffee in large quantities.


• Cookies will be served. They will be moist and delicious. You might think about helping yourself to more than one, but you should resist. Two cookies may lead to sugar-fuelled delusions of grandeur during the most important part of the orientation - the stirring video about the torch relay. For a brief moment, you might think about applying to be one of the 12,000 Canadians who'll carry the torch - then the seams of your full body spandex luge suit will shift unexpectedly under your clothes, causing a taint crisis. You will suffer mutely. Tears will be shed.


• Kleenex will be available after each of the soaring motivational videos. And if you don't need a kleenex at least once over the course of the day, then you are DEAD INSIDE.


• On the way home from your interview, you will see some anti-2010 graffiti that reads "Burn your yuppie prison No2010.com". You will ponder the impact of the Games and vacillate over whether being aware of and respecting the opinions of the anti-Olympic movement yet still wanting to volunteer when the Games are coming to your neighbourhood makes you an unprincipled dingus. Then you will see a Dairy Queen and pull over for a Blizzard.

All in all, it was an interesting day. While I'm sad that my first two choices of luge track tester and plus-sized mascot weren't on the table, I'm hopeful that I might end up doing something equally thrilling, like talking on a two-way radio and using code names like "Striker One" and "Gidget Lips". I won't find out if I've been offered a position until the summer or fall - lots of time to practice. Creampuff over and out.

Creampuff Mark-down

Ding dong - the couch is gone.

We bought this couch right after we moved into this apartment. We bought it because my mother-in-law was coming to visit for Christmas and we didn't have any furniture and The Brick was right by the Sleep Country and it was on sale and we were tired and kinda desperate.

We immediately began to suffer from buyer's remorse. This couch was not really our style, as you can see from our old couch, seen here in archival knitting shots:

Not only did we find our new couch aesthetically displeasing (I believe Katr called it "The Two Tone Turd"), but the couch's configuration caused us to sit crookedly. This fucked us both up ergonomically, rendering us each incapacitated at different times with searing neck and shoulder pain. For the last several months, we've been dealing with this by not sitting on the couch together - and whoever WAS sitting on the couch had to basically create an armchair out of cushions to stay upright.

Stupid couch.

In the spirit of making 2009 The Year of Actual Follow-through, we decided that this couch needed to go. We found a new one in a used furniture store and gleefully purchased it. Then Katr put me in charge of getting rid of the old couch on Craigslist.

I had a hard time writing the Craigslist ad for the couch I loathe. I believe I listed it as "Microsuede/Leather Couch - not nasty". Technically, there's nothing wrong with the couch - I just couldn't imagine anyone else wanting it, even though it was free. I couldn't have been more wrong.

This fucking couch was more popular than a pun at a dumbass convention. Within 5 minutes, I had more than 20 offers to take it off my hands, from the cursory "Call me about this couch please bob" to the sweet, squee-filled emails I got from a woman who told me the couch was "the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen".

I stuck with my usual first come, first served policy and made a deal with a girl we'll call Couch Claimer. Then I suffered from Craiglist remorse over the girl who claimed the couch. She couldn't pick it up until Sunday (our new couch was arriving Saturday) and she mentioned that her husband was coming to get it. I was like "It's a big couch, lady! He's bringing a friend, right? RIGHT??" I worried that the whole thing would turn out to be a big couch cluster fuck.

Once again, I couldn't have been more wrong. Couch Claimer's husband not only came by Saturday for the couch, but he had brought both his friendly, burly father and a dolly. Those guys had the couch strapped up and out the door in minutes.

My glee continued when Couch Claimer's husband mentioned that their current used couch came from a smoker's house and they have a five month old baby who kept sneezing. The guy was so cute and excited about the niceness of the couch and the brownie points he was going to score with the wife when he brought it home (along with the coffee table, which we also unloaded on him - sucker!) that I knew the right people had gotten our couch.

Godspeed, Two-Tone. I hope that you're being appreciated properly in your new home.

Speaking of new homes - behold OUR new couch!

I know it might not be your taste, so feel free to keep that to yourself. Stayed tuned for the new ottoman, coming in...March!

P.S. The Best of Craigslist - there are no words to describe its greatness.

Creampuff Restraint

It's December 10th and I haven't bought any eggnog.

I know! What the fuck??

You might think that this speaks to some healthy restraint on my part but I assure you that I haven't abandoned my holiday diet tips - I just haven't been as relentless in my pursuit of the 'nog as I have been in recent years.

Come to think of it, I haven't bought a single box of Furtles this month either. WHO AM I?

I might be suffering from post-traumatic stress after an angry man in a grubby Santa hat threatened me with what looked like a candy cane shiv in Chinatown last week.

Whatever the cause, I seem to have a very laissez-faire attitude about the traditional holiday feasts n' trappings this year. Tree? Not up. Halls? Not decked. And the song in my head does start with a "J", but it's not Jingle Bells.

How are you guys getting in the holiday spirit? Or are you just getting into the holiday spirits? Hahaha! See what I did there? 'Cause "spirits" can also mean...okay, I can see by your face that you get it.

Creampuff's Belated Birthday Wishes and other Delightful Gifts

Katr, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Baileys in my cereal, turned the big 4-0 on Sunday! There was much carousing throughout the week, with Dufflets cake and big-as-your-head margaritas and delicious dim sum brunch and, of course, the glue that holds it all together - comedy Powerpoint slides.

I feel like a heel for not blogging about it (and thus missing the last day of NaBloBlowMe), but I have a chance to redeem myself!

Because Katr and her blog (MyNameIsKate.ca) have been nominated for not one, not two, but THREE blog awards (or, as I now call them, "gwards". Because it amuses me)!

So if you want to give Katr the "gift of voting" for her birthday (and I know you do!), here are the links:

• Best Career/Professional Blog category in the Canadian Blog Awards
• Favourite Company or Business Blog category in the Best of 604 (Vancouver) Blog Awards
• Canada's Influential Women in Social Media

If you're feeling REALLY generous, you can vote for me in the Best Humour Site category over at Best of 604 - or, if you're feeling vindictive, you can vote for Monica's hilarious blog, Dose of Lunacy, in the same category (thanks for nominating me, Monica!)

Speaking of gifts - we make an effort to give charitable gifts every year, but this year, with everything being totally fucked, we decided that we needed to step up the charitable gifts and step down the hilarious but useless crap we don't need gifts (such as antlers for the dog or a solid silver fruitcake caddy). So here's some of the stuff we're looking at.

I love the World Vision Canada gift catalogue. Who wouldn't want to give someone the gift of goats? Obviously, there are plenty of other non-livestock gifts in the offing - clothing, school books, medical supplies, mosquito netting, blankets.

I'm a little jealous though - in the US World Vision catalogue, they have ducks for real cheap. If you're in the States, get ducks!

Personally, I've got my eye on an alpaca, but they're pretty expensive. Anyone want to go in on an alpaca with me? Knitters? Let me know.

With so many people losing their jobs and homes and being forced to downsize, pets are being dropped off at shelters at alarming rates. The BC SPCA has a great site called Pawsitive Gifts where you can sponsor the shelter stay of a cat, dog, rabbit or...OTTER!! That's right. You can sponsor otters at the BC SPCA. Pretty cool.

Being a lover of food, I'm always a big fan of the local Food Bank. Around this time of year, some food banks have deals with other businesses where they'll match your donation, so check it out. Also, Miss 604's food drive reminder recently included some Practical Suggestions for Food Bank Donations from raincoaster.com, which are really excellent. Kraft Dinner - not a good choice for the food bank!

Speaking of food, the lovely Kimli from deliciousjuice.com is participating in the "Cans for Comments" food raiser - leave a comment on her blog and she'll donate a can of food. I don't think she'll let you choose the can though...I asked.

Kate's friend and bag collaborator Steve, from carbon-neutral Rainbrooke Bags, gave us carbon offsets from CarbonFund.org - which is awesome, given how often we seem to fly places. Thanks for the fabulous gift, Steve!

I know I've only scratched the surface here and we're always looking for other great ideas - so leave your own gift suggestions in the comments!