I have always felt like a bit of a late bloomer in certain areas. Not in the boob areas, but more in the "youth experiences" areas that movies and tv tell us we should be experiencing. I was 26 the first (and only) time I ever got drunk enough to barf. I didn't go to a real indoor rock concert until I was 27. And while I've been a fan of many things - books, movies, bands, performers - I was never a screaming, crying fan, trying to get up to the front of the stage to see my idols up close. I never waited at the stage door to get anyone's autograph. I never swiped an ABBA turd.
While I do identify as a huge nerd, I am also very shy and don't wear my fanatical heart on my sleeve very often. In fact, I think I can count my legitimate fan grrrl experiences on one hand:
1. The time I got Simon Callow to autograph his book Love is Where It Falls (and subsequently hated the book SO HARD but can't get rid of it, because Simon Callow signed it).
3. The time we went to the first night midnight screening of the third Lord of the Rings movie (that one's on Katr).
4. The time we lined up with hundreds of kids outside the Van Dusen Gardens to get the last Harry Potter novel and I accidently took this photo of this random man, which is really hilarious to only me.
All this to say that it's been awhile - but I'm going to have to start counting my fan grrrl forays on TWO hands after this week and I am FAR too old to be this excited.
I got a copy of Cassandra Clare's YA fantasy novel The Clockwork Angel for Christmas a couple of years ago and found myself oddly, crazily twitterpated. It's the first book in a trilogy - the second book, The Clockwork Prince, came out last year and the third and final book, The Clockwork Princess came out out...TODAY. And you guys...I LINED UP to get it.
(Thanks to Katr for finding this photographic evidence of me in the line on Twitter. HAHAHA)
But that is not all - NO NO. I not only lined up to get the book, but I also lined up to get a wristband because next Tuesday night, Cassandra Clare is coming to Vancouver and because I have a wristband, she will SIGN MY BOOK ZOMG.
While I knew I was nerding out to get this book, I didn't initially plan to go to Chapters Metrotown super early to line up. There were 400 wristbands available, after all, plus:
"It's at 9:oo a.m.," I said to Katr. "Won't most kids be in school? Surely no one will be there."
"Uh...it's spring break," said Katr - quite gently, which was kind.
"Oh," I said, fear blooming like narcissus in the pit of my stomach. "I...oh."
Still, I planned to play it pretty cool and leave around 8 a.m. for the 9 a.m. opening. Then, at 7:15 a.m., while I was eating my breakfast, I saw on the Twitters that a line had already formed starting at 7 a.m. NERDS! I left at once, my breakfast unfinished. Katr wished me godspeed as I hurtled fatly out the door.
Sidenote: I hate the Metrotown Mall. Right after we moved here, Katr and I took a trip to Metrotown to buy some things for our apartment. We parked underground, did our shopping, came back down to the parking garage and then couldn't find our car. For HOURS. We were pretty sure the car hadn't been stolen - we quite literally could not locate where it had been parked in the first place.
As it turns out, this was largely on Metrotown, because there are two separate parking garages that do not connect with each other and one has a "yellow" section and one has a "gold" section. Do you know what colour "gold" paint looks like? FUCKING YELLOW, METROTOWN, YOU UNIMAGINATIVE FUCKS. We swore never to return.
But for The Clockwork Princess, I made an exception.
I got to the mall about 7:55 a.m. and was only 70 people from the front. SCORE!
I expected a long, boring wait in line fondling my iPhone and fielding questions like "Is one of these girls your daughter?" but the great thing about lining up for a book and a wristband is that everyone else in line is super into these books as well and there is SO. MUCH. TO. DISCUSS.
The Chapters was fully prepared for this fan onslaught - once the doors opened, we moved through the buying/squeeing process very efficiently and in no time at all, we were gathered just past the cash register to have our photos taken...with the book.
I don't know why I love this trilogy in particular so much but I DO, I DO love it. Maybe it's because it's set in Victorian times and I like things that are Victorian. I am seriously like a 13 year old with these books. I'm actually rereading the first two this week so I can really savour the last one - Cassandra Clare assumes that all of her readers are crazy fans and she doesn't waste time with expository nonsense in her books - everything picks up right where it left off and if you don't remember who the Magister is or what the deal was with Tessa's brother, too bad for you, idiot.
What's hilarious, though, is that while I LOVE the Infernal Devices series (those are the Clockwork ones), I've read Clare's first series, The Mortal Instruments (movie coming out this August!) and, even though it's set in the same Shadowhunter world, with some of the same characters, I thought The Mortal Instruments were no screaming Jesus. And I read them while blissfully happy and drunk in Mexico and still gave them only 3 stars, so that's saying something. I'm just passing this on, in case my nerdaciousness is contagious and you're thinking of checking these out. You're welcome.
Stay tuned for next week, when I return to Metrotown for...THE SIGNING.