As many of you know, I'm just not very bright and am still not sure that I even have my Bachelor of Fine Arts, because a) my university went on strike in my final year and b) I refuse to pay my totally bogus library fine to find out if I did indeed graduate.
Despite this complete lack of academic cred, my friend Dr. Jacks still asked me to be a speaker in her undergraduate social science class a couple of years ago - TWICE (the topic was: I'm Fat and Gay and I Don't Give a Shit What You Think - I paraphrase). So every now and then, when I'm feeling dumb, I'll bring it up in conversation, real casual-like.
Me: A similar question came up when I was a guest speaker at UBC.
Barista: Really? "Foam or no foam" came up at UBC? JESUS CHRIST, YOU PRETENTIOUS TWAT, HERE IS YOUR LATTE.
This month, I have another feather to add to my academic cap - my friend and dramaturge Moynan King was curating a volume of the Canadian Theatre Review about Queer Performance - Women and Trans Artists and she asked me to contribute an article about our collaboration on Anne Made Me Gay.
And that's how I ended up getting my name in this fancy academic journal along with a bunch of real academics and other super smart people with interesting things to say about queer performance. HAHAHAHAAA!!
My article is called Anne Made Me Gay: When Kindred Spirits Get Naked. Here's the article description:
2008 marked the 100th anniversary of the publication of L.M. Montgomery's classic Canadian novel, Anne of Green Gables. Celebrations for Anne fans were planned across the country, but one key demographic was not represented in the mainstream Anne celebrations: there were no events planned for the “I'm pretty sure Anne made me gay“ Anne fans. In Toronto, two lesbians decided to create a cabaret by and for queer lovers of Anne, to help us explore Anne's influence on our young gay selves and to celebrate the red-headed snippet who taught us to live passionately, speak eloquently and really dig on other girls. This is the story of that cabaret.
Much of this issue is about the grand tradition of the queer cabaret - so naturally, Moynan decided to celebrate the launch with - you guessed it - a queer cabaret!
Sadly, I will not be there but there are lots of other amazing queer artists performing at this thing and if you're in Toronto on February 26, you would do well to attend "Explain Yourself". Plus, if you're a top, or you bring a top with you, admission is cheaper! Apparently, this event will be a great place to meet tops.
If you don't know what that means, you probably aren't ready for this cabaret.
I'm not sure what's next for me, academically speaking - I suspect this may mark the zenith of my academic achievement. Then again, who's to say that nepotism won't strike again? This time next year, I could be accepting an honorary degree from Yale! Or, morely likely, Brigham Young University. Mustn't get ahead of myself.