There’s food growing in our yard and I’m a little beside myself. How did it get there? How does it do that? And why are vegetables so dirty? Our organic food garden guru Seaton calls her photos “veggie porn”…and now I understand why. And now…so will you.
Actual cucumber from garden. NOT FROM THE STORE. WE GREW THIS.
You know what I didn’t know about cucumbers? They’re covered in little prickles. You basically have to give each one a handjob before you can eat it.
Bush pickle. That’s the name of this plant.
This…isn’t from our garden. I saw this out on a walk with the dog. But you can see the resemblance to things in our garden.
In more penis-innuendo-free news…little tomatoes!!
The shy mating of stealth peas. I didn’t see these guys for weeks and then suddenly there were pea pods everywhere. Like delicious ninjas!
Gypsy pepper. This plant has been working SO hard on this pepper. This is, in fact, the only pepper this plant has grown all summer. I almost don’t have the heart to pick the pepper. But if I don’t soon, then I know that fuckface Peter Piper will beat me to it.
And just when you think it couldn’t get any more domestic up in this bitch – BAM!
Banana Chocolate Chip Cake!
ALL OVER YOUR FACE!
Yeah, that’s right. I baked from scratch, during a heat wave. That’s hardcore. Speaking of hardcore, note the lesbian art in the background and the homegrown cucumber draped seductively over the nectarines. HOT.