Creampuff's 25 Things

Kimli tagged me for some "25 Things About Me" fun. Because I am eager to please anyone with a rack that fine, I have obliged. One of these statements is a lie though - see if you can guess!

• Whenever I eat granulated honey, I imagine I'm an ancient Briton.
• I suspect I am a natural luger. Singles though - that double luge is fucked up.
• The sound of me sneezing makes babies scream. In fear? In solidarity? Only the babies know.
• I have to suppress the urge to blurt out "I backwashed!" whenever anyone takes a sip of something in my presence. It's exhausting, but that's good manners for you.
• Sometimes, I really wonder what happened to Ace of Base.
• I have one small tattoo, in one colour. It took 20 minutes and I nearly passed out while barfing. They had to open a door and give me a lollipop.
• My low tattoo pain tolerance is particularly hilarious in view of the many years I spent Xacto-knifing my arms.
• I have an interview to be a volunteer for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics in a couple of weeks! I'm hoping they'll give me my first choice: "luge track tester".
• I speak "conversational French" - so long as that conversation is with a drunk French 3 year old with poor hearing.
• I crave strudel.
• I'm tempted to join Twitter but worry that having only 140 characters to express myself will really cramp my st
• One time, at band camp, I totally wrote "Clarinet Rules!!" on the underside of the top bunk with a felt-tip pen.
• Sometimes I pretend to be a Christian at parties.
• My ears are too small for the iPod headphones. I have to buy special earbuds for pinheads.
• Flannel makes me angry.
• I will make 2009 the Year of Actual Follow-through.
• My credit card company tells me that I've qualified for a "payment holiday". Nice try, bitches. You're not getting another cent of interest from me.
• I really like Sarah Vowell, but I'm finding The Wordy Shipmates'  "just one long essay with no chapters and plenty of jumping around" style is greatly diminishing my enjoyment and education.
• I really resent it when my fingernails get long. It's like "I just cut you, fingernails! GOD!"
• I always sniff the cream.
• There is in existence a short video of me dancing around in the kitchen to "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band, using a zucchini as a wang.
• There can never been too many raisins.
• Sometimes I buy movies that are really emotionally wrenching and then never watch them again. I think I buy them so that I can keep an eye on them.
• I once shoplifted a single marble from the drugstore near my house. 2 years later, I sneaked the same marble back into the store and put it back where I found it.
• They're real and they're spectacular.

Whew! That was exhausting. I'd take a nap if the dog wasn't right here, butting my leg with her nose and threatening to drop a deuce on the rug. Ah, Emmy Lou - you're like a fuzzy personal trainer who licks herself. Aren't you? Aren't you? Good dog.

As you know, I choose not to assign these things. But if you're looking for some fodder, consider yourself tagged!