Notes from Creampuff's Office Safari

The rumours are true. I recently spent nine days in Toronto, commuting to Mississauga and working IN AN ACTUAL OFFICE. Jealous? You should be. It was fucking AWESOME, or, if you will,"f 'awesome".

I made some notes about the experience, which I plan to include in my ongoing anthropological study of office life vs. my actual life. I find it helpful to compare and contrast the activities I participated in at the office with my usual work from home routine.

Lest you fear to join me on this journey into oft-charted waters, let me assure you of this: I wore pants the whole time.

 

Activity	Working from Home	Working at the Office
Getting to work	Get up at 6:00 a.m. Make coffee Start working	Get up at 6:00 a.m. Groom Put on the pants Go down to lobby for hotel breakfast Take 20 minute walk to Union Stn Buy GO ticket Get on 7:55 a.m. train 30 minute ride to Clarkson Stn Knit Get picked up by lovely, accommodating co-worker Go to Tim Horton's Get into it with douchebag who tries to cut us in the line Get to the window and find that the lady in front of us in line has bought our coffee Feel warm glow Consider paying it forward, then realize that would mean we'd be paying for the douchebag's coffee DENIED Arrive at office at 9:00 a.m. Start working
Meetings	Take place in office (i.e. our dining room) Include whole team (me and Katr) Often feature hand puppets Possible snacks (fruit, carrots, fuzzy peaches candy, black licorice cigars)	Take place in boardroom with projector Include whole team (~10 people) Often feature slides, charts, spreadsheets Ice cream cake is served
Bathroom breaks	Frequent and lengthy, due to variety of enticing reading material	Rare and harried, due to there being one single seater for 60 women
Lunch	Good days: Leftovers, salad, sandwich, Daily Show Bad days: Chips	Good days: Delicious meal at nice restaurant Bad days: Harvey's (still pretty good)
Work	Far less slackery than you might expect	Oh, hell yes
Distractions	Hilarious co-worker Cute dog Being felt up Facebook	Hilarious co-workers Ice cream cake Inflatable driving range in the parking lot Being told by tech support that Facebook is not allowed at office, even though it is a valid social media tool, but WHATEVER, this shit would never fly at MY office
Getting home from work	Look around Note that I am at home Continue working	Get ride to train stn from lovely co-worker Get on 5:38 p.m. train Get close-talked to by stale-breathed, spitting, deaf, irate GO train aficionado Try not to gag Feel gum getting stale Remember what happened last time I spit my gum out at the GO Stn Swallow gum Get to Union at 6:10 p.m. Take 20 minute walk back to hotel, constantly tugging at the back of my shirt, which my laptop backpack is causing to ride endlessly up over my ass
Nickname assigned by boss	Redacted	"Poopsie"
Less than stellar moments	Injuring my shoulder while punching the air and chair-dancing to Eye of the Tiger	Using my own blog as an example in my Windows Live Writer presentation. The client informs me that "Rock Out With Your Cock Out" is not a category they use on their corporate blog.
Triumphs	Getting key tactical information without any Bothans dying Not having chips for lunch Getting the dog to sit in the park	Not getting any significant food stains on my office clothes Not referring to the bathroom as "the ladies shitter" Being there the week they had ice cream cake

Please note that this is only the first draft of my report. I hope to produce the definitive work on the subject. Stay tuned for my next anthropological study entitled: Pants. Why?