Creampuff Likes to Keep It Simple

I really didn't think they'd let the "Pa took the biggest dumps in all of Kansas" girl get this far. But the fine folks at CBC's Canada Writes informed me Friday night that I'm one of five finalists chosen to compete in the national radio gameshow set to air November 20, 21 and 22 on CBC Radio One! Fame! Fortune! Possible humiliation and defeat! Either way I get to meet Elvira Kurt! Woooooooo! 

The only catch is that Canada Writes is not live. Shhhhh! It's true! They are taping the competition on Saturday, November 17th. If that date sounds familiar to some of you, it's because Saturday, November 17th is the day I'm pledging to forever intertwine my life with Katr's at our Big Gay Wedding Cabaret and Topiary Festival.

Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Yeah!

I knew that Katr was 'the one' from the minute I read her personal ad that fateful night four and a half years ago.  Oh sure, we've had our ups and downs - a certain postcard from "Louise" comes to mind - but my conviction that we were meant to be together has never wavered.This certainty was cemented further on Friday night when I told the producers I'd have to check with my beaverancée before I committed to spending the bulk of our wedding day writing hilarious shit jokes at the CBC and Katr told them "Just get her to the church on time!"

Seriously. Unconditional love and support AND a quote from My Fair Lady? How did I get so lucky?? I do not deserve her. But don't tell HER that, 'cause she's still got a couple of weeks to back out of this whole deal.

In other news, Happy Hallowe'en! I was hoping to gad about town in this little number tonight:

You all know I would have rocked this outfit, if by "rocked" you mean "looked like I ate a small nun and then stuffed myself into her teeny tiny outfit". But instead, I had to turn my attention to another important costume - my big gay wedding ensemble.

Back in August, Katr and I found a lovely and experienced dressmaker who agreed to make our wedding attire from scratch. She told us that she was going home to Poland for a visit in September but would be back in time to ensure we'd be clothed for the big day.

About two days before we were supposed to meet up with her again, I got an email from her saying that her father was dying over there in Poland and that she had promised to stay until his last breath. But she would probably still have enough time to make our dresses. Probably. Depending on when the man passed on.

I don't know about you, but we felt that keeping our chubby fingers crossed that some poor old man takes the long dirt nap quick so that his daughter can jet home and make our wedding duds seemed like a poor choice in every possible sense. So I sent her our sincere condolences and thus began a flurry of online searching and ordering which culminated today in Katr and I busting into a dressmaking and alteration boutique with giant dresses and panicked eyes.

The ladies in the shop were awesome. Once they'd finished their pinning and laughing at our fat jokes, we were both extremely pleased with our new silhouettes. On the way home, Katr said "I am so glad we went there. They really seemed to know what they were doing. And now that woman can go home on this lovely Halloween night and tell her kids that today she altered a dress for Mothra."

Photo credit: Pink Ribbon (on our wedding invite) by Lex

Comments

[Maggie]

Yay! Congrats on the finalist and getting a good dressmaker.

And, just so as you know, Mothra is considered 'cool' these days. Especially a literate Mothra.

[Kate]

I had never read the Wikipedia entry for Mothra. I am so glad that I have now .. because it has such gems (especially when read in the context of the above post) as ...

"Mothra is obviously capable of flight. Her wings can (and generally do) create gales which tear apart buildings and send other kaiju flying. Her great bulk of a body is commonly used to her advantage in battle to slam into opponents, and her surprising levels of strength can help her to drag and even lift monsters like Godzilla."

and

"The Heisei version of Mothra had some differences. She could now fire a beam of energy from her antennae, and fire arcs of lightning from her wings, or keep it in her body to release to another through touch. The powder now had a different effect; It would act as a 3-D mirror to trap energy blasts, making them rebound over whatever was inside the cloud of powder over and over again. This proved very effective in turning Godzilla's own atomic ray against him."

Heh, heh .. beware, Godzilla. I will turn your own atomic ray against you.

[Flippy]

Congrats! That's like totally awesome! Also, I can't believe it's almost time for you to be betrothed. November is a good month, for just two days earlier, mah girlie and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary, and my parents will celebrate their 55th.

So, does the taping of the show cause a problem? They *are* flying you to the right city, so that's a bonus. I want you to win, win, win, but even if you don't win on that day, you've already won.

[Cynical Knitting Gal]

I too might look like I ate the nun and tried to fit myself into her swanky little get-up...but nevermind.

You are GREAT! Congrats.

[Flippy]

Whoops, I see you answered my question, but due to my work-filled last 36 hours, I was unable to read for comprehension. Good luck...and good luck!

[ShBu]

How excited am I that you made it to the finals?? I just knew you'd be perfect for this competition.
I'm thinking they should let all of your wedding guests attend the taping. We can make it part of the celebration. And we'll rig Jian's questions so that all of the contestants have to write about topics like "unions" or "commitment in Canada" or "girl on girl".

[syd]

Never in my life did I expect to read the words "I ate a small nun".

Kinda hot.

[greymatters]

Goddammit, Syd! You got to that observation first. Grrrrrrr. ; -)

Congratulations, Roro! Whooo-HOOOOOO! Yippee! WTG!

[dawn]

ok, ok, good job on getting married and winning a prize and stuff, but seriously -- are you participating in nablopomo?? it's not like you've got anything else to worry about this month...

[michelle]

as much fun as it is waiting for old people to bite it (how else do you think real estate opens up in small rural towns...) it's probably for the best, karmically speaking.

heh

and YAY! for poop jokes on your wedding day!

[seizuresalad]

Roro, this is the kind of gig that gets you into "funny talking head" status in Canada, next thing you know you'll be on Video On Trial!! Holy Jumping Lucifer!

[Lex]

Holy crap the 17th is going to be a busy busy day for you!!! I hope your handler (aka chick of honour) is going to make sure you've got something old, something new, something borrowed and something for breakfast and lunch!

[Heather]

Wow congrats on the writing recognition and on finding someone who so clearly rocks for letting you compete on your wedding day! I will be glued to the radio and crossing my fingers and toes that both go swimmingly.

[Daniel]

Only Rose & Kate could evolve "working vacation" to "working wedding".

[wenders]

Wow. You have quite the month ahead of you, don't you?

Do we ever get to see the whole invite? That corner is sort of a tease, at least for me, a former event planner. The font looks great...

[roro]

Maggie - Thanks! And I didn't know that about Mothra. Katr will be so pleased. . .

Katr - I had no idea how apt the comparison was until the "surprising levels of strength" were mentioned. THAT'S the reason for your freakishly strong upper body!!

Flippy - Thanks! And congrats to you and Leigh Ann and your parents (wow - 55 years!!) And yes, that's how I see it - I've won already. But I still want to kick a little ass.

Cynical Knitting Gal - we should make a pact next year that we'll both dress in tiny nun costumes. Or at least Gracie and Emmy can wear them . . .

ShBu - you are brilliant, as usual. What a great idea! And I'm all for rigging the questions. If I can't write about girl on girl action, I've got NOTHIN'.

Syd - Dirty girl.

Greymatters - You are both dirty, dirty girls. Nuns are married to CHRIST.

dawn - It's that kind of wit that will get YOU through NaBloPoMo, young lady. I look forward to your month of posts!

michelle - Yes, karmically, not so good. Practical, sure, but one has one's karma to consider.

seizuresalad - Oh my god - I would DIE to be on Video on Trial. DIE!!

Lex - You've brought something important to my attention - I have no handler for that day. My man of honour has a matinee! Clearly, I have to come up with a plan.

Heather - Thanks!! Katr does indeed rock. And I'll need the toe crossing for SURE.

Daniel - Hahahaha! What can I say? It's a gift. A gift I wish we could return.

Wenders - Katr chose the font and it is quite lovely. I think we'll totally put the whole invite up at some point - it's an 8-page, wallet-sized booklet. Fun!

[kimananda]

Your story of how you and Katr met is great...are you sure you didn't make up the internet dating part because the real story, with the burning building and the flying baby, doesn't sound plausible enough?

[roro]

Kimananda - HOW DID YOU KNOW? Yes, the meeting online story was a ruse. I admit it!

[The Viscount of Knockers]

Just wanted to add to the congrats. They can't deny 1st prize to a bride on her wedding day, can they? Score.

[Benjamin Boudreau]

Cripes...I can't believe you're adding Canada Writes to the duties of your wedding day. I mean, don't you think things might get too busy? Should you stay focused on one thing at a time? ISN'T YOUR WEDDING MORE IMPORTANT???

Wait, the top prize is just a laptop? Not a million dollar book contract? Not fame, fortune, and an entourage? Well, I suppose trying to eliminate the competition isn't really worth it.

Congrats and good luck for the entire weekend and I look so forward to meeting you I'm already taking bets to see which of us will kiss up to Elvira Kurt more...