New Dog Runs Creampuffs Ragged

NB: This is a post about our new dog! It's largely dog-related and may go into a little too much detail for the non-dog-lover to give a shit about. I just thought you should know.

As most of you know, I've wanted a dog for nearly 7 years now, ever since I discovered that it was CATS, demon CATS and not dogs that I was allergic to. When I lived with a roommate, getting a dog seemed unwise. When I first shacked up with Katr, our condo building did not allow pets. But when we moved to Vancouver last fall, getting a dog was near the top of my list of priorities.

And this weekend - my doggy dream came true. Meet Emma (whose name will probably change at some point but not now, 'cause we're too stressed out)!

Isn't she the sweetest little Chinese Shar Pei you ever saw? So rumply in the face! Doesn't she look peaceful, all curled up there on the floor, miles away from the nice bed we bought her? Mmmm.

The long yellow thing is a duck. She hates this duck.

Emma is three years old and we got her from the TnT Shar Pei Rescue. These shar pei people - SO NICE. Meeting them - getting the low down on the mighty shar pei breed - having them over so they can make sure we're not crazy jerks - it's all been a great experience. Which brings us to today.

Yeah, I'm not going to lie to you guys - we are nervous wrecks. I have no doubt that our general lack of dog experience and also lack of sleep are the main contributors to our overwraughtness. No matter how many books you read and how many episodes of The Dog Whisperer you watch, nothing really prepares you for being a BIG FREAK when the dog actually materializes and you have to deal with it.

To be fair, it's not like young Emma has done anything super crazy. I mean, she was a barking, whining, door-scratching mess for about 15 minutes after her foster parents left and then she settled into a pattern of checking one balcony, checking the other balcony, checking the door, checking us and starting again. Then, after we took her for a longish walk yesterday, she snoozed the afternoon away. But last night the poor thing kept waking up and barking up a storm, presumably because she was disoriented. She wouldn't sleep in our room and I ended up on the couch in the living room. The wrong move? Probably. But at 2:00 a.m., few alternatives presented themselves. Sigh.

Going into this, we knew that Emma:

• Didn't like dudes - hey, good match!
• Didn't like to hang out outside too much - hey, like us!
• Occasionally barked at the foster mom's loud teenage son - hey, no problem. We have no loud teenage son!
• Is very good around non-teenage boys and is not dog aggressive - hey, sweet!
• Followed her foster mom everywhere - and now she follows me! Good times!
• Doesn't care for toys - reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaally? Who doesn't like toys?? (Hint: our new dog Emma)

All of these things are true, except that she also barks at flies and, once today, at me. Also, her foster parents live in a quiet, suburban area and they said that when they brought her into town, she perked right up. But now I'm wondering if all the city noise (not to mention the fucking loud-speaker-laden DragonBoat Festival on across the street this weekend) isn't just stressing her out. Also, she LOVES cars and tries to climb into every one she sees, whether it's stationary or moving, which, you know - that's not good. At least she really seems to be enjoying licking herself. That's important to a dog.

What's my point? My point is that it's Day Two and we're already losing our shit. We're trying to be calm, assertive pack leaders here, people. And I feel like we've done our best so far to be consistent with our behaviour and still give her space, because shar peis like that. And I'm PRETTY sure I'm just being kind of a sleep-deprived wuss about the occasional barking and whining and that once I've slept, I won't feel like I'm having an anxiety attack. But we are feeling very ill-equipped and unsure how to proceed. Should we walk her more? Less? Keep her on a leash with us all the time? Leave her alone? Will the pot brownie help? After all this excitement, am *I* the one who's not dog-appropriate??

So hey, dog owners and lovers - please, please help us out. Share your new dog settling-in stories and tips!! We thank you - Emma thanks you - and that poor, neglected duck thanks you.

Comments

[Melle]

Heh. Dude, don't judge ANYTHING from the first few days. Bipeds and quadrupeds are going to be messed up. Same reason I don't judge behaviour of Humane Society dogs too much -- shelter environment isn't their real environment, you know?

Hell, when we went from one dog to two dogs, I spent the first night trying to keep them separated and resorted to a rolled-up newspaper to keep them from killing each other. (I've learned a lot more about dogs since then...)

Give it a few days, and patterns and things will start working themselves out. And while Caesar Milan is a bit of an over-the-top queen, he does know his shit. You are prepared! :)

Emma will get used to the new noises and smells and whatnot and (hopefully) start barking less and settle in. Giving her plenty of exercise will keep her fit and tire her out. Sleeping dogs can't be neurotic.

If you haven't registered for obedience classes, do so. Even if she knows the basics already, it's a good opportunity to bond, to establish pack hierarchy, and to get her used to using her manners on your terms. And get you used to being the boss and handling her in general.

Presumably, too, there are things she will like, just not necessarily wiener ducks. (Yes, there are dogs who don't like toys. Weirdos.) If there are toys that go untouched for a while, donate them to the rescue org or your local shelter. Less to trip over and less to obsess about. ("Why won't she plaaaaaay???")

As for Shar Peis specifically, my exposure to them has been somewhat limited. I do know they have a certain aloofness/independence compared to a lot of other breeds, which feels a bit weird to me, but that's just my experience with other, more uber-social breeds. And anyway, I'd be less concerned about a small/medium dog I can't read well than a 150lb one. :)

And hell, bottom line, it's a dog, not a crystal swan. Even if you screw up, she's not going to break. (Though you never know when a favourite shoe or treasured stuffed toy will end up taking one for the team...)

Good luck, and ENJOY!

[Maggie]

I found that wearing an old shirt around for days and then putting it in the dog's bed really helped with the nighttime whining. I think it's the smell of her "people" that calms them down. (?)

And don't panic over the first couple of days. It's always hectic. :)

[KristenM]

I don't know much about dogs, but I tell new moms that it takes about 6 weeks for things to feel "normal". Good luck, she is so cute.

[ers]

Pictures! More pictures!! Ooooh - should I send you one of me so she recognizes her Auntie Erin when I come to visit?

[Syd]

How wonderful that you adopted from a rescue group. Give it some time, you'll all settle into a routine soon.

She is very cute, btw.

[Heather]

When in doubt, give treats. She's totally cute and I'm sure she'll get used to her new people soon.

[Whozat]

Congratulations! Keep us posted on how she's settling in.

[Melissa]

Oh, Rose, she's adorable! Like any new parent, you and Kate will find your groove and figure out what works best for your own situation. The only advice that I can give is to continue to demonstrate that you're both higher in the pack then she is, and to not give in to praising good behaviour with treats - she'll begin to expect a cookie whenever she does ANYTHING, and you'll end up with a whining beggar on your hands.

PS: Emma is a lovely, Jane Austin-based name, should you decide to keep it. But I think you should change it to Princess Awesome McSweetie, PhD (Cuteness and Fuzziness, with a specialty in Sniffing).

[wenders]

I think y'all are already doing the right things, since you're asking for advice and caring enough to put the doggie first in the learning experience.

And I'm jealous. As you know, I, too, would love a dog. Although Sparky brought hers over this weekend to my place and apparently you have to walk them several times a day? I'm sort of too lazy for that. At least, when I have a whole weekend home and down time from work travel, I don't really want to be going on three or four walks a day. Must be the apartment-ness of my current living arrangment.

Anyway, hang in there. And post more pictures. :)

[June]

Congratulations!

One toy she might like is the Kong, a rubber toy you stuff with treats. Her goal is then to get the treats out. Just google "Kong Dog Treat." My friends have the Kong Ball, but as you'll see, they make all sorts of styles.

Also, I have to second those who say that you shouldn't stress to much over her behavior these first few days. She just needs a little time to adjust.

[June]

Oops. They actually have the Kong Stuff-a-Ball.

[Catherine Winters]

Lookit, she's so... sleepy! And wrinkly! And adorable! Congratulations on doggy-ownership at long last!

I recommend you help yourself to a nice pot brownie, demonstrating your dominance in the pack structure. This will result in a grudging respect for you, as you enjoy it and she doesn't get any. Or she won't care. Either way, you have the brownie.

[zuhn]

What a wrinkly pile of softness! She's adorable.

I don't have dog tips but perhaps you can try to entice Emma to play with her toys by sprinkling a little catnip on it.

[The Feminist Mafia]

Oh man do I understand how you're feeling. Nora is kicking our asses, and from what I hear, that's totally normal. It's a lot of work to raise/house a dog, and apparently it gets easier as they get older. At 6 months, Nora is apparently a pre-teen and is behaving accordingly. You're doing the right things -- reading books, watching Mr. Milan, etc. Get a Kong. Sign up for doggie class asap. And be strong. You're the boss! And within a few days/weeks, it'll be noticably better.

If it helps, she's ADORABLE!

[roro]

Melle - She's not a crystal swan! She's not a crystal swan! I love a new mantra. Thank you for the excellent tips!

Maggie - Good idea! She already has a towel from her foster mom's place and she seems to enjoy that.

Kristen - That's good advice. And since this is as close as we're getting to having kids, I'll take it!

ers - oh my god, you're hilarious. Yes, send us pictures!! And I'll post more soon, I promise.

Syd - yeah, the rescue was the way to go. Such great people! And I think she'll be a good fit for us, when we iron out our kinks. Mmm . . . kinky.

Heather - Always a good policy. She seems very intermittently treat-motivated, but I hope that after some time with creampuffs, she'll be more about the food.

Whozat - we will!

Melissa - Yes, I've been singing "Leader of the Pack" by the Shangri-Las all morning. And I think your name option is excellent! we'll take it under advisement.

wenders - Yeah, there's a lot of walking, especially for those of us with no yards. I think I took her out six times yesterday! The exercise is good for both of us, but the early mornings and right before bed aren't our favourite in our slightly scary neighbourhood. We might suck out and get one of those balcony dog potty things - just for the early/late bathroom breaks.

June - I have heard about this Kong and am intrigued. But her foster mom said Emma wasn't into it. Not toy motivated, not food motivated. We have to find this dog's kryptonite! Maybe we should try the Kong again . . .

Catherine - You are so right. And the brownie was delicious.

zuhn - Are you mocking me?

FM - My hat is off to you, puppy owner! I think I'd have to have a tray of pot brownies if we'd gotten a puppy. Thanks for the tips - and it DOES help that she's cute.

Thanks everyone - things are definitely looking up this morning. We all slept through the night last night, for starters. Huzzah!

[Jen]

Things I Learned From a Great Dane Puppy:

1. If you take them out 6 times a day, they will have to pee/poo 6 times a day. If you acclimatize them to 3-4 times a day, they will have to pee/poo that many times a day.
2. Tire the living shit out of them if they're behaving badly.
3. A nice big smoked bone will keep them busy gnawing for hours, and can help with anxiety at the beginning or if you have to leave them alone
4. routine, routine routine. Do the same things at the same time every day and you will have a happy doggie. :)

[Melissa]

I almost forgot - shar peis were bred as guard dogs, and the idea of guarding things is inherent in their DNA, so you should know that she'll probably display behaviour that you would expect out of a guard dog breed - like barking at perceived threats. If you're not down with those kinds of behaviours, attending obedience classes with her will be invaluable. And her breed is intelligent enough to really learn what is expected of her in short time.

I know you're joking around about treat-motivation, but i think it's really important to stress that ensuring she eats pooch-food only on a regular basis, with human food treats few and far between, and to motivate her with praise is really key. When I was a kid, one of our dogs turned into a food-stealing moocher - it became really irritating to have her always begging, and since a couple of family members couldn't resist responding to her demands every time she decided she wanted some ham, or a gummy bear, she ended up with a lot of health problems that stemmed directly from being severely overweight.

[HB]

What a lovely dog! Congratulations! Looking forward to more photos and stories:-)

[Drew]

Welcome to the family Emma. So nice to meet my new niece. And they said that our family lineage would never continue...

[Michael]

Congrats, she is cute, and I love a dog that's aloof (having been a confirmed cat person in a former life). Behaviour does change over time and with acclimatization. We have a greyhound and they come trained not to take food from the hand and are naturally quite aloof. Eventually if you work with them dogs will become motivated by whatever you work out with them. If it's a big hug, or praise or food, it's your attention they want. At least that's been my experience. BTW doggie classes aren't for the dog, they're for the owner. I agree with all suggestions to go, it's a REALLY good idea, you will learn lots of useful things about how your behaviour affects your dog and how to interpret the dogs behaviour.

[SassyFemme]

Give it some time, you're adjusting and Emma is adjusting. She's bound to have some doggie baggage as she tries to make sense of all that's new to her, and she might react in ways she hasn't with her foster family. In my opinion, nurture and love her, and heap lots of praise on her. Building your bond in a positive way is probably the best thing you can do.

The kongs that people have suggested are a fabulous idea. When our dog was younger we'd stuff them (with broken up dog bones and peanut butter) and give them to her right before we went to work so it would keep her busy as we left. It also meant that our leaving was associated with something positive, not something negative or lonely, which could have led to barking or destructive behaviors.

Keep her on a schedule for walks, she'll acclimate to it for potty times.

She's probably just as nervous as you are, she only wants to please you, dogs are like that. Just love her, sweet talk her, bond with her.

[Chaps]

well our dog was going a bit strange so... we got him a root. Any chance that will settle her down? he he he

[roro]

Jenb - Excellent tips! Particularly #2. Of course, to tire her out, I tire myself out. But hey - then we both take more naps! Score!

Melissa - She is indeed an excellent guard dog. Yesterday, she defended me from a dangerous can of Diet Coke which Kate snapped open in another room. But she's getting more relaxed and better with the barking every day. As for the treats, no worries. Seriously, this dog - not really into traditional dog rewards.

HB - Thanks! And there will be many more photos. Trust me.

Drew - Emma thanks you and promises to make the family proud!

Michael - Thanks for the advice! And the dog class is definitely for us more than her. We're looking forward to it!

SassyFemme - Man, these Kongs sound like doggie crack! Leaving her alone is definitely the next big challenge. She definitely has some doggie baggage to work through, but I think we'll all work through it together. And then eat peanut butter.

Chaps - HAHAHAHAAAAA! I'll have to ask her.

[Aphra]

Aaah, she's great! I have no advice to give though. We used to have dogs but they were all stupid, soft things ... oh, except for the one that bit the Bible salesman on the butt. Mum probably should have taken her to obediance classes.

[witchtrivets]

Oh, Emma is adorable. Congratulations! Welcome to the world of dogs. Soon, you too may have the chance to run down the street in your bathrobe after a loose dog. Good times. Although I can see how living in a high rise might make that less likely -- you will be surprised at the crazy things that can happen when you are a dog parent.

I concur, the first days are rough and are not normal. Poor thing has to acclimate. Bentley would not move from the door the first two days. Would not eat, would not walk across the floor, nothing. Now he is a big goofy, friendly thing.

Also, a tired dog is a good dog. Walks are good for wearing the puppy out and for training her to walk with you.

Having a dog around is such a wonderful thing. We are obsessed with our dog. We still refer to Bentley as the "puppy" even though he is 4 years old now. We also refer to him as "the baby" because we are crazy.

[lola]

dont ever say that a cat is a demon >:(

[roro]

Lola, I would get into the whole catspiracy thing with you but I'm too tired from walking the dog.

[K-Prime]

Congrats on the dog! When I got my baby puppy, we blocked him off in the kitchen/dining room which was fairly large, and linoleum (in case of accidents). I ended up dragging a mattress in there and sleeping in the kitchen for the first two nights. Although my roommate and I got him together, he was definitely MY dog after that.

[Jeanne's cats]

Congratulations on the dog ownership!!
She is lovely, but we also think there is good eating on that dog... (but then we are cats).