Creampuff's Dog is Not a Crystal Swan

Yes, that's right. Two dog posts in a row. You like it.

We have our first dog obedience class tonight and I can tell by the way Emma's licking herself that she's excited. I think it will be a fitting end to what has already been a VERY confusing day for young Emmy Lou Hairy.

We're trying to get into a routine with her around feeding and walking but for a variety of reasons, that was all shot to hell today and we were wingin' it.

First of all, her foster mom told us that Emma LOVES a ride in the car. Emma has never been in our car before though, and I thought that it might be smart to have a dry run before we try to stuff her in there tonight on the way to class. So Emma and I went down to the parking garage where we spent the better part of a delightful hour getting in and out of the car with the car blanket, without the car blanket, under the car blanket, etc. I think we both had the hang of it by the end. She christened the car by shaking her fur all over it. Katr will be so pleased.

The first dog class is supposed to be dog-free but since we hadn't tried leaving Emma alone too much yet, we asked if we could bring her along. The teacher agreed, hence the practice with the car. But a couple of hours after our fun with the car, I thought I would step outside the apartment for a minute, just to see what the dog did.

She watched me walk over the door and started to follow me as I went through and shut it behind me. I heard her little claws on the tile as she snuffled around the bottom of the door. She didn't bark or whine or paw the door, though, which was great. "Good girl," I thought, encouragingly. After counting to 60, I went to go back in again.

That's when I realized I had locked myself out of our condo.

Ha ha ha. Shitballs.

I double checked my pockets for the things I had been carrying in there earlier in the day that would have been helpful at this juncture: keys, $12, my cellphone. All I had in there was a wadded up paper towel left over from a failed attempt to clean the dog's ears this morning and a half a pork-flavoured DentaStix (no ear cleaning, no treat). Fortunately, I also had one other thing up my sleeve. Katr's number at work, which I miraculously had memorized. Hurray! Hurray for my brain!

Katr's a very patient lass, especially, as it turns out, when it comes to me and this dog. As the Feminist Mafia said of her pooch Nora in the last comments, this dog is kind of kicking my ass and in my attempts to tire her out, I'm tiring myself out and also forgetting to eat and then getting upset and bawling because I'm so hungry and tired and annoyed about how when we're out on the leash, the dog keeps testing me to see who's in charge and it's exhausting (sounds of quiet weeping). Ah ah ah, ladies, hold yourselves back - I'm taken.

I'm sure it was a real treat for Katr to be on the other end of the call I made from the building caretaker's office informing her that I had locked myself out and the dog in. She was very good and hopped on the Skytrain to bring me her keys so that I could rescue the dog I had abandoned. We sat on the platform at the Skytrain for awhile, as I geared myself up to return to our possibly frantic pooch. I wondered what I might find when I opened the door.  Continuous barking? Claw marks of the door? The dog is a defecational prodigy - would she have offered a demonstration on the rug?

The answer, of course, is none of the above. I got back up to our floor and heard some piteous whining coming from behind our door. When I let myself in, Emma greeted me with more whining and some attempted jumping up, but all in all, it was quite civilized. And minutes later, it was as if nothing had ever happened.

So it turns out melle was right. The dog is not a crystal swan. Mistakes have been made, but so far nothing's broken and we'll get this all figured out.

And we'll never go out without the keys again, will we Emma? Will we? Hmm? Will we, girl? No, we won't, will we?

Good dog.

Comments

[susan]

it's been great following you and kate to Vancouver, seeing the docklands, and views from your windows and now introducing emma to your world.
fun, fun, funny.
thanks for the blog. hope you are enjoying your first summertime on the west coast. solstice too. happy solstice to all three of you.

[Sparkles]

Such a sweet face! I have to admit to only having a pooch once...and that I was abysmal at teaching her manners. She managed to eat a lot of things she wasn't supposed to, like a tape measure, a WHOLE rose bush (yes, root ball and all), and a whole buncha' socks. Though I did manage to teach her how to "sit pretty" which I was told later was quite a trick for a rottweiler. LOL

[FemiKnit Mafia]

Yes, yes, I know exactly where you're at, with the frustrations, hunger-induced stupidity, and the realization of not-a-crystal-swan.

Strangely enough, it's also a perfect metaphor for parenting. Those screaming little bundles of joy also aren't crystal swans either.

That realization makes it all easier, eh?

[btw, that 'eh' was for you canucks]

[Heather]

Aw she's so cute! Sounds like something I'd do, and glad she's adjusting well.

[m]

oh how I envy you.

I leave my dog alone for 5 minutes and I'm missing 3 pairs of underwear, a box of tissue, a loaf of bread and my checkbook.

All to be found later when we go for a poo. Or rather when the dog goes for a poo. All nicely compacted into perfect puppy poop. ('cept for the checkbook, I find mysterious PetSmart purchases have been made with that...)

Glad to hear she was patiently and more importantly, non-destructively, waiting for her creampuff! What a good girl!

[Melle]

Heh, she's so wrinkly and pensive. :)

Among the things Barney destroyed/consumed while alone in his youth were TWO Mach 3 razors (blades chewed but not swallowed), shoes, the entire contents of the recycling bin, and a couch. (Beagles are notorious for couch consumption.)

And to get MY Mach 3 razor, he unzipped my overnight bag, pulled out my makeup case, unzipped that, and removed ONLY the razor in its holder. I shit you not.

So what I'm sayin' here is your dog rawks the Casbah. :)

[HB]

I got my wish! New photo and new dog story! Good girl.

[KristenM]

Just to make you feel better, I once locked Johann, as an infant, in a running vehicle. Thank goodness for extra keys in the house. Hope your class went well.

[Genevieve]

look for what ever it is. I think it needs to be said. I wasn't that into you to be over you. You played a bunch of head games and you never spoke to me directly, just some sneaky underhanded jabs at my character. You are with the one you love and I am so glad for that. You will never hear from me again. Have a great life.

[roro]

Susan - Happy Solstice to you too! Hope you're having a marvellous time on your trip.

Sparkles - Wow, that's some serious dietary indiscretion!! You'll be glad to know that she hasn't eaten your t-shirt. You know - the one I haven't sent you yet. Ha ha. I'm waiting 'til it's ripe.

FM - It sure does!! And thanks for the "eh" - that'll always put us stressed out Canadians at ease. You're the best!

Heather - She is pretty cute. And even after I abandoned her, she still deigns to cover me with fur. I'm a lucky gal.

m - "('cept for the checkbook, I find mysterious PetSmart purchases have been made with that...)" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Good tip - I'm going to check and see if my credit cards are all still there . . .

melle - "Wrinkly and pensive" is the perfect description. I can't believe your beagle chewed RAZORS. It's a little too "Barney Angel, MindFreak" for me.

HB - Thanks! Hey - where's my treat?

KristenM - That DOES make me feel better. 'Cause that Johann seems to have turned out a-okay.

Genevieve - Thanks! You too.

[SassyFemme]

I just love that little face!

I'm sure she'll have YOU trained in no time! :)

[sean howard]

Okay. That is SERIOUSLY it. There is NO MORE LIQUID allowed near my computer when reading your blog. EVER!
;)

[wenders]

Well. So much learning going on over there!
At least you have a good reason for locking oneself out. It's such a pisser when it happens and there's no dog that's being trained, it is just because one is a dolt. Not that I've ever done that, of COURSE.

And Sparky was on the other end of a call yesterday where I needed her to use the power of the internets to tell me where I landed so I could go BACK to the correct baggage claim to get my suitcase I'd forgotten about. What does it say about ME that she started with "Well, this says you ARE in Dallas...at DFW airport..."

[KnittingPainterWoman]

Inviting a living critter (canine, child, avian, whatever) into our lives is SUCH a life-enhancing process. I hope that Emmy Lou lives up to all your expectations (well, maybe just the good ones.)

[tigerlilith]

ah yes, i remember the "new dog" syndrome - in our case it was about a month of total exhaustion, tears, & tantrums (& that was just me!). it wasn't helped by the fact that our rescue pup had kennel cough when we got him - imagine a mid-sized, 6 month old terrier cross having coughing fits every 20 minutes or so, making noises something like a donkey or a large angry goose, all day & all night for 3 weeks... none of us slept at all. ever. not to mention the dog snot all over the house. also tiring was the fact that he wasn't house-trained, and indeed initially flat-out refused to pee while out, but would pee immediately after being brought back in again. sigh. now, though (two years later) myself & the RSA can most frequently be heard saying (in tones of wonderment) "he's such a GOOD dog!!!?!". :)

[greymatters]

A fine and noble dog there, Roro. That new dog syndrome will wear you out, but you'll remember it all fondly -- even the 2:00 a.m. visit to the ER over swallowed Raggedy Ann and Andy stuffing ...

[SassyFemme]

Time for a doggie update!