Creampuff WINS!! And Then Tries to Regift.

This Saturday, Katr and I attended the awards ceremony for ChicTech, a project which encourages young women and girls to expand on or develop an interest in Computer Science. Young ladies - it's HOT. Get in on it! Katr was there in her capacity as a website judge and sponsor-representative (kinzin was a sponsor) and I was there in my capacity as Katr's:

Me: "Arm candy?"

Katr: "Sherpa."

Me: "Oh."

When we got there, some young volunteers handed out tickets for the door prize, which I tucked into my pocket. I never win things. Also, Katr felt that because I was sitting at the judges' table, my winning a door prize could end up looking like the sponsorship scandal that toppled our country's government a few years back and no one wants that. I look enough like Paul Martin as it is.

I tell you, though, it was an exciting, inspiring evening full of happy high school girl web designers, proud mentors, encouraging female professors and kick-ass punch and by the time the door prize draw rolled around, I was too caught up in the moment to act cool. Katr's favourite thing is how, when she brings me anywhere new, I end up acting like a dork. The Chictech event was no exception.

As they started to call the ticket numbers, my hands were actually shaking. There was a moment when I thought I'd won, but it turned out that the Computing Sciences professor NEXT to me was the winner that time. "Ha ha ha!" she said to me, as she returned to the table, prize in hand. I swallowed the bitter humiliation of being trash-talked by the keynote speaker. And then, up the at the front, I heard Daphne call the magic number: 061.

"YES!!" I screamed, pumping my fists in the air and jumping out of my cafeteria chair. My only regret is not turning to the professor of Computing Sciences and yelling "In your FACE, Condon! You trash-talking hussy!" I bounced up to the front of the room to claim my winnings, urged on by bewildered clapping and nervous chuckling. "I never saw someone so excited to win a t-shirt before," quipped one of the judges. "JEALOUS?" I roared. She backed off and I fondled my prize.

Here's the shirt. I know. It's a Northern Voice shirt and it's beautiful in a way that only door prizes can be. Unfortunately, it's also "girl's large".

Just to give you some size perspective, here's the shirt on top of one of my shirts.

Needless to say, I won't be wearing this shirt, unless I slice open my leg in a horrible ice cream scoop debacle and need a tourniquet. But I WILL send this tiny shirt anywhere in the world, to the first one of you who e-mails me your list of favourite lesbians books and/or movies.

Remember back in February when I pleaded with you all for some lesbian book recommendations? Well, one of you - Smitty - actually WRITES lesbian books and she dropped hers off at my door in Toronto in March and I devoured them both, like a starving creampuff in a Tim Hortons. Of Drag Kings and the Wheel of Fate and Burning Dreams, both published by Bold Strokes Books, were, as I said to Smitty, fantastic and just the thing to be reading while I was away from, and pining for, my love. Because there's no better way to exacerbate your already frustrating desires and yearnings than reading hot lesbian fiction. I decided, while following the adventures of professor Rosalind and hot young drag king Taryn, that I need to start making a list, not just for me, but for all the other lesbians who are looking for some good fiction!! That's right - I don't do these things for me. I do them for YOU.

To that end, I've finally started my lesbian book list over at Squidoo (where my better half has the #1 "Shopping" lens at the moment). It's still a work in progress, obviously and I'll tell you now, I'm only listing books I actually liked. I hate to miss out on giving bitchy reviews, though, so I also started a lesbian film list. Because Katr and I watched Girlplay this weekend and while I'm glad Lacie and What's-Her-Name found lurve in the theatre, the movie sucked so bad I still have the marks.