Creampuff Needs to Tie a Red Balloon To That

I knew that when Katr and I moved from Toronto to Vancouver, it would be an adjustment. Obviously, we would (and do) miss our Toronto friends terribly and trying out an unfamiliar city, while adventurous, can also be daunting. For all that, though, we felt that we were moving from one big city to another and that certain things would remain constants. Mainly, we believed that certain amenities would be as available in Vancouver as they were in Toronto. It came to my attention this weekend that I need to manage my expectations around some of those amenities. I mean, I recognize that I've gone from living an incredibly privileged life in Toronto to living an incredibly privileged life in Vancouver and that ultimately, I have NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. Which is why I need to tie a red balloon to the following three items and just LET THEM GO.

1. Why are there no fucking garbage chutes in Vancouver?

In our old building in Toronto, there was a garbage chute and recyling area on every floor. Sure, if you had gigantic garbage, like a couch, you had to take it down in the elevator to the dumpster outside, but most of the time, taking the garbage out was a real treat. This set-up also made so easy to recycle conscientiously that you would not be embarrassed to look Al Gore in the eye.

At our current place, there is a garbage room on the first level of the parking garage. To get to the garbage room, you take the elevator down, pass through a security door, go down a flight of stairs, pass through another security door, drag your garbage through the parking garage, pass through another security door and then you're in the garbage room.

Making it such a hassle to take the garbage out means that people procrastinate until they have several bags of garbage and recycling and have to do one big trip. You can hear them, angrily clanking and dropping the F-bomb (no, it's not just me) in the elevator. Usually, between their apartment and the garbage room, a bag will break or an item will fall out. They will not pick it up, because they are angry and sweating. And then when I take OUR garbage out, I will trip on the thing they dropped. By the time they finally pass the security gauntlet, they are so annoyed (and probably late for something) that they just throw everything in the dumpster. A lot of people (and not just the people in this building) confess to not making an effort to recycle here. IN VANCOUVER. Al would be very upset and I don't blame him.

2. Why the fuck can't we get good food delivered in Vancouver?

Katr and I have simple tastes, really. In Toronto, we had three food delivery standbys: Swiss Chalet, Pizza Hut (I know, I know) and Holee Chow (I KNOW, okay?). When we were feeling REALLY flush, we'd order whole wheat tree hugger pizza from Magic Oven or Thai from Spring Rolls.

Here in Vancouver, there is NO SWISS CHALET. The closest one to us is in Burnaby, which is a 20 minute drive away. Needless to say, they do not deliver. What the hell?

Here in Vancouver, we can't find good Chinese food for delivery. I know - IN VANCOUVER. We literally live IN CHINATOWN. We've ordered from four different places and it's sucked EVERY TIME. And our STANDARD for Chinese food is HOLEE CHOW.

Here in Vancouver, Pizza Hut delivers. But there's only so much Hut a girl can have. GAH.

Vancouverites - we are open to suggestions, so - don't be shy.

I grudgingly admit that the lack of available delivery food is probably a good thing, as it encourages us to actually cook more. Which brings me to my next point.

3. Where the fuck is my grocery store?

I have been extremely spoiled in that every place I've ever lived in Toronto was within walking distance of a grocery store. Creampuff likes the grocery store. Other people go to record stores or clothing stores - I linger in the bulk food section and squeeze brie in the cheese aisle.

Our first place in Vancouver was close to two different markets, both of which enjoyed my frequent cheese squeezing. But after a thorough exploration of our current neighbourhood, I was shocked to find - NO GROCERY STORE.

Now, I CAN get really good fresh fruits and vegetables a few blocks away in Chinatown. I can also get really incredible tea and 8 different kinds of dried squid. But I can't buy a yogourt.

On this point, I know that I am just being a pussy. I can take a bus or the Skytrain to a grocery store and it really only adds half an hour to my shopping trip. I am, however, still trying to wrap my head around the lack of grocery store and my tiny brain is having a hard, hard, bitter time of it.

Today, though, the bitterness must end. The garbage chute issue will be not be changing anytime soon and we've signed a year lease so . . . I am getting over it. I'm sure that there are lots of places to order from where the food doesn't taste like ten kinds of ass and we just need to find them and so . . . I am getting over that too. And as for the grocery store - whenever we run out of Nutella and I'm daring to feel in any way petulant about having to go to the faraway store, I'm going to look out at our spectacular view:

and maybe have some peanut butter instead.

Comments

[zuhn]

I'll give you the garbage chute and grocery store points, but may I remind you that you live in the freakin' MECCA of Chinese food in Canada! The mecca! I'm drooling just thinking of some of it.

Also, there's always White Spot...

[Kim]

I live in Vermont where you can't walk to ANYWHERE. Have you tried online shopping? Granted it takes the joy out of squeezing the cheese in person, but you can pick out what you want and for a small fee it is delivered right to your door. No need to even put on pants!
www.qualityfoods.com is one good one in your area.

[wenders]

Interesting. I've never heard of Swiss Chalet. And Holee Chow made me laugh...

I miss the Italian bakeries of my old 'hood in Boston. You just can't have it all, can you?

[roro]

zuhn - I KNOW it's supposed to be Mecca! That's why we've been so shocked by the shitty food. I fully accept that we may be ordering from the wrong places but we have yet to find the right ones. Where are the right ones?? That's a rhetorical plea, by the way. As for White Spot - interesting . . .

Kim - I had forgotten the online shopping. THANK YOU for reminding me and for the link! I LOVE shopping without pants on!

Wenders - I think Swiss Chalet (or "Dirty Bird", as some of our friends call it) might be a Canadian thing. Italian bakeries - I would miss those too.

[Heather]

No swiss pigeon? Egads that's awful. It's ther crispy, crispy fries that I love! Well, that and the blue rinse crowd that always populates the restaurants.

Owning a house was such an adjustment to the garbage situation. Instead of me skittering across the hall to toss it in the garbage chute in my PJs, I now have to drag it to the curb every 2 weeks, and I tell ya, neighbours look at you pretty funny when you do it in big fluffy slippers and PJs. The only consolation I offer is that it could be worse, you could live in the 'shwa where finding Chinese food that isn't Chicken balls with rice or Pork Balls with rice is impossible.

[rho1640]

Heck I live in a town so small that the Chinese Restaurant is the ONLY restaurant that delivers :D But going by the names you gave - maybe you are used to mediocre Chinese food (much like mine I am sure LOL) and you are getting quality food in Vancouver and just have to get used to it :D

[Melissa]

Since you know the way my head works, you'll understand why I have a picture of you and Kate, riding an unwanted couch down a garbage chute, with a bag of Swiss Chalet in one lap, and a Dominion bag full of yogurt and Nutella in the other.

PS: You know how good homemade yogurt is? VERY GOOD. And since you've had both my ice cream and peanut butter, you know I know of what I speak!

PSS: I waved at Jamba Juice for you this afternoon.

[Kate]

@Melissa ... I think we have the opening scene to our new movie "Katr and Roro Take Vancouver". Yeeeee haaaaaaw!!!

[M. D.]

Sorry Creampuff, absolutely no sympathy. You are healthy, living in Vancouver with the woman you love and you have an absolutely incredible view!!!! For the last two months we've been negotiating six feet high snow banks, ice and cold and we still have our shirts off waiting further instructions.

[kristen]

OMG you would die out here! The closest Hut and Swiss Chalet (and Boston pizza) is 45 minute highway drive away! Almost every dish at the Chinese restaurant has meat in it (and is terrible) For a CHANCE at good food and possibly service I have to drive an hour and a half to Halifax! Have fun exploring new restaurants.

[Lex]

So, you're working from home. Katr is working from home. You live in the middle of Chinatown AND you want order-in. This is yet another ploy to avoid putting on your pants, isn't it?

Do you need me to point my Vancouver foodies at this post and ask them to give you a little direction to deal with the order-in/grocery store conundrums? I'll do it you know. Sick them right on you. Not sure they'll be able to reply. They might be too busy laughing their respective asses off... but I could try.

[roro]

Heather - I hear you on the PJs. I think that's the biggest indignity for me - having to put on REAL PANTS to take the garbage down.

rho1640 - You are so right. We ARE used to mediocre "Canadian" Chinese food! But it's not like we're getting more authentic Chinese food here and not enjoying it - we're actually getting WORSE mediocre Chinese food. Weird.

Melissa - Hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Now I have that picture in my head too. Fantastic! Thanks for the wave - love that juice.

Katr - totally! If only we could find a garbage chute.

M.D. - You're right, you're right. No sympathy required. How's the shirtlessness going?

Kristen - I WOULD die there. Especially since I still don't drive.

Lex - Sweet Lex - that's right. We don't want to wear pants and we want to order in! This post was indeed meant as a plea for food tips. I don't care if your foodie friends make merciless fun of me if it means that we find good food to order in.

[kristen]

I forgot that you can't drive, you really would die, it is a 45 minute walk to the bus....

[caho]

roro, i would love to be able to defend vancouver on all three counts, but sadly, i can only muster a half-assed apology and make some half-assed recommendations. for takeout, you have three options: Indian (Nirvana on Main is pretty darn good but SLOW), Thai (SalaThai, though only if you have master telephone skills and patience beyond belief – ask chgi – also SLOW), and – the best pizza this town has to offer, conveniently just below me – Unforgettable Pizza, on 8th (they deliver). You see, the Chinese community does not actually live in Vancouver, they live in Richmond. As a back-up, what about Vietnamese? You have excellent Vietnamese in your hood, and you can't beat that delicious coffee made with condensed milk. If you're into a nice sunday dim sum outing, head up Main to Sun Sui Wah at 23rd.
i will email you more about my grocery rant: we have an embarrassment of riches here in mount pleasant (Safeway, IGA, Capers and Choices in a 6 block radius), but when i lived downtown so many years ago...$5 corner store milk and an epic bus ride to the ONLY Safeway in the entire downtown core.

[cam]

roro, forget Swiss Chalet, Ho-lee Chow and definitely forget White Spot. What we really need out here is a Lick's. Will someone please open a franchise in Victoria?
Oh, and it's not delivery but you should definitely check out the Noodle Box.

[Chaps]

Garbage shoots? you guys seriously have/had garbage shoots and its not just something they made up for TV? I think its time we moved to Canada.
I don't(can't) do garbage - Fish gets angry, but I just can't - when I stayed over one of the first times she took the garbage out, it was then I new I wasn't letting her go.

[Kyle Korleski]

Be thankful you don't live in certain neighbourhoods of Calgary. Here in the ranchlands, there are VERY few places that deliver and for a computer programmer that is self-employed, that just won't do. Hell, Wok With Dave does not deliver unless the order is above $25CAD and I can't muster another $25 Wok With Dave order.

[zuhn]

caho's right. Head out to Richmond, maybe Burnaby for good Chinese food. I think the "delivery" deal is where you need to focus your efforts. You're safer heading to T&T and buying frozen dumplings than ordering in because we just don't order in.

And yes, White Spot. Good burgers and yummy, yummy milkshakes.

[roro]

Kristen - 45 minutes to the BUS?? I WOULD die! Or I'd just get into better shape . . .

Caho - AHA! Richmond! THANK YOU. Very helpful. In fact, we just ordered from Nirvana! I'll let you know how it goes . . . as for that Safeway - I know it well.

Cam - I love the Noodle Box! Sadly, as you say, not delivery. Katr and I really need to unlazy ourselves. That aside, I think we could make a KILLING out here with Licks. Or perhaps a Licks/Swiss Duck COMBO.

Chaps - it's true. Once, I had a chute. No longer. And I hear you on the garbage. I got away with never taking it out when we had a chute. Not anymore.

Kyle - Wok with Dave - HILARIOUS. Also, tragic.

zuhn - Excellent advice! Again, very helpful. T&T is right close, I hear - dumplings ahoy!!

[Wayne Fig Newton the Drag King]

Congratulations on your impending nuptials.
I hope you and your Beaverancée are very happy.

[KnittingPainterWoman]

You'll understand that like Wenders, I have no clue about SwissChalet. Is this the alpine version of KFC? There's less delivery than you might think in our subsurbs because everyone has a humongous SUV or truck (we have a truck... at least it looks like what it is for: hauling STUFF. And no body walks. And there aren't any busses to speak of. I think garbage shoots (preferably with self-sorting functions for glass, paper, garbage) would be awesome. But Texas is FLAT, so it would just sit there. Like a lump. Like a bored longhorn.
Maybe if I went commando, there'd be some action. On second thought.....

[Amanda, ChGi's friend]

Not sure exactly where you live, but if you hop on the 22 Macdonald bus on Pender (heading west) and take it about half an hour to Broadway and Macdonald, there's a Swiss Chalet a few blocks from there (Broadway and Trutch, near the Hollywood Theatre).

Have you been shopping at T&T Supermarket? It's next to Stadium SkyTrain station and Tinseltown. Here's the URL: http://www.tnt-supermarket.com/

[Flippy]

First of all, I think your blog just tried to kill me. For some reason, and I'm reasonably savvy technologically, but for some reason, your blog just opened up 25 windows until I could Alt F4 it and win the battle. I haven't had that happen in YEARS.

Regarding the bad Chinese food - aren't you guys supposed to have really good pot there? If you smoke a little, it won't matter how bad the food is, it'll taste great.

Your view is fabulous! When I lived in San Francisco, we had a view like that - I miss it terribly. We had a garbage chute too...and we recycled. We don't recycle in Las Vegas because we can't get the damned trash people to send us the bins, plus it's almost always windy on trash day, and our bins are those stupid open little things. So, unless the trash company considers recycling to be redistributing our trash in our neighbors' yards, it's pointless. I feel horribly guilty about it because we were great recyclers in San Francisco, but they make it almost impossible here. One nice thing, we have trash pickup twice a week. I can't believe one of the other commenters only has trash pickup every two weeks. Damn, the stink in our garage would kill us before the next trash day.

[roro]

Wayne - thanks!

KnittingPainterWoman - I'm sure you WOULD see some action if you took the garbage out pantsless. Hopefully not from the bored longhorn though. As for Swiss Chalet - You may have Chicken-in-a-Biscuit crackers and E-Z Cheez down there in the States, but you guys are definitely missing out on the Swiss Chalet. It's not as fast food-like as KFC. I feel like it's "healthier" because I can get a salad.

Amanda - Oooo! That IS closer than Burnaby! They wouldn't deliver when we lived downtown - I wonder if they will now . . . as for the T&T, I have not been. But I will go, oh yes. I will go. Thanks for the tips!!!

Flippy - Sorry my blog tried to kill you. I can offer no explanation. Perhaps IT was smoking pot! And yes, the pot here is good and if we smoked more, we wouldn't even need to order chinese. We'd just eat cheezies and pass out. In garbage-related chat, I still can't believe cities aren't making it easier for people to recycle. Haven't they seen The Day After Tomorrow???

[Flippy]

Oh, if your blog was smoking pot, it wouldn't have the energy that I witnessed in the window opening extravaganza. Although, I hear-tell there's some sort of pot that is considered energizing. Ha, I'd like to see that. Maybe in the shape of a solidly compacted brick. I kid, I kid...only because it's illegal, I think.

I love Cheezies. We got a care package from Canada a few weeks ago and there was the precious 8-pack of Cheezies in it. They are so much better than Cheetos.