Creampuff May Have to Tone It Down A Little

As most of you know, I've been working from home for the past two years. While I do occasionally miss the companionship and intrigue of office life, I find that working at home suits me, partly because I like setting my own schedule - 

(7:00 a.m.: Work.

7:05 a.m.: Watch Dick in a Box video three times. 

7:15 a.m.: Watch Box in a Box video twice.

7:23 a.m.: Try to decide which one is funnier. Then try to decide if I am truly being objective about which one is funnier or if I'm being swayed by the Box in a Box singer's bodacious ta-tas. Hmm. Better watch them both again.

Noon: Lunch.)

 - but mainly because I don't have to wear pants and stuff.

The thing is that I've made working from home look REAL good to my girlfriend (or "fiancée" now, I guess - although, since we're getting gay married, isn't there some kind of "gay engaged" term we can use?  Preferably something with the word "beaver" in it? "Beaverancée"?).  As of Monday, my beaverancée Katr will also be working primarily from home! Both of us! At home! Together!

Obviously, this will be an adjustment for both of us. We'll have to share the phone and the broadband connection (Kate: Geez, this document is taking forever to download. What are YOU doing? Me (muting Dick in a Box video): Uh . . . nothing. Want some tea?). We'll have to be strategic about when we do laundry, because the washer sounds like a jet taking off. Until the effing Brick delivers the dining room table that's now A MONTH LATE, we'll be sharing a desk.

Also, I will have to try not to:

• Assume that just because Katr's finally home with me doesn't mean that her sole purpose is to spend all day, every day, laughing at my jokes, helping me with what I'M working on, fixing my technology problems and feeling me up;
  
• Drop everything to spend the day watching the Crossing Jordan/ CSI/Without a Trace/Law & Order (but never "Law & Order SVU", or, as I call it, "The Weekly Rape")/Any other crime drama my beaverancée hates marathon and knitting (Project Runway marathons are okay);
  
• Walk around with no pants on near the new webcam when Katr's on a video conference with clients;
  
• Sing at the top of my lungs and use stuffed animals to act out "Would You Light My Candle" from Rent;
  
• Blow the grocery money on blow and then say Nick Nolte mugged me and stole it (Sorry, Nick).

As Friday is my last day of "home alone" time, I'm also trying to figure out what to do tomorrow. It's not like I wait for Katr to leave every morning so that I can cover the couch in plastic, coat it in olive oil and slide around while watching The Matrix with the Trinity parts in slow mo. ("Why does it smell like Italian food in here? What's this on the remote?") But, you know - I feel like I need to have some kind of last hurrah. But what? A Homicide: Life on the Street marathon? An all-day daquiri bender with Nick Nolte? A knitting, pantsless, pie-eating trifecta? Or should I just cover the couch in plastic, coat it in Devonshire cream and watch Battlestar Galactica with the Katee Sackhoff parts in slow mo?

History will decide. Or perhaps Syd will.

Comments

[The Feminist Mafia]

Good friggin' lord, my throat is killing me from all the laughter over here. 1) I used to work from home, so I'm right there with the Box in a Box activities. BTW-BinaB=Hilarious! 2) the "I will have to try not to" bullets. oh, the bullets. I was laughing so hard that I woke a very preggie Wifey. Seriously. You're killin' me! For the record, my favorite was Would You Light My Candle. Is it wrong that I can envision that clearly?

[Syd]

hahahahaha!!!

The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking... FUCK! I can't send her any more nasty monk-e-mail.

This was your polite way of telling me "make sure you give me fair warning if your email contains sound"...right? Gotcha.

I'll work up a little something special for ya tomorrow ;)

[HB]

If this was me, I'd go for "Battlestar Galactica", and then "Firefly". After that I'd be worrying about how on earth I was going to deal with my girlfriend's morning grumpiness EVERY day of the week.

[Lex]

Great news!
I found my work-from-home turned upsidedown when Ger took a 6-month sabbatical.

A couple of suggestions:
- find a secondary "office" out of the house, say in a coffee shop or library, where you can actually get things accomplished when you have a deadline and Katr decides today is her day to roll on the couch in olive oil.
- accept the fact that Katr working from home does not mean sex @ 3pm every day. (not every day)
- practice polite and supportive ways to say "Piss off I'm working", "God! Shouldn't you be working?!?" and "I am too working!"

Have fun!

[kristen]

Good luck. You are always telling me you don't know how I do the whole military wife thing, well I could not do the working together, home all the time thing. I would kill my husband. You are a strong woman!

[Melissa]

Why am I imagining you and Kate exchanging business cards and posting signs with office hours on them beside your respective workstations? Oh, because that would be awesome, that's why.

I would recommend a standing morning coffee meeting appointment for you two so you get out of the house each day. And also, I think you should watch Firefly, just because Gina Torres is having a baby and all.

[Sparkles]

Dude! Seriously? Box in a box freakin' ROCKS! And I'm sure it was only because you mentioned it but I can't keep my eyes off of her ta-tas.

Yeah, there are certain days where both R and I have to work from home. But we have to share the laptop temporarily as well...egads! ;)

[zoe]

Holy cow, I've got to start watching Battlestar Galactica.

And you're wrong, I think she does have to spend all day feeling you up. I'm just saying.

[The Viscount of Wordsmithing]

It's a little obvious, but:

Engayged? (You kind of have to draw out the AY sound for it work orally. But if anyone can make it work orally, it's you.)

[k-prime]

I'm with Zoe. Thank you for introducing me to a new TV show with a hot character to obsess over. Be forewarned, my roommates may hate you.

[zuhn]

I say, put your box in a box and threaten to stand behind the web cam until katr is willing to unwrap the gift.

[wenders]

You have just created the perfect case for why I cannot ever be allowed to work from home. And... great new word!

[vesper]

i have to check out box in a box.

[greymatters]

OMG, I rolled laughing through this entire post.

Chalk me up as a Battlestar fan, only because of Katee, who -- should she ever decided to do so -- could curtsey on my face and make me a very happy woman. Can you tell I just came from Syd's blog ;- )?

Seriously, I admire that you can work at home with the Beaverancee. MV and I can share space very, very well. BUT, we are both of a type that we both hit a point where we both go, "OK, that's too much ..." and off we go in different directions for a few hours.

Although, I am still sitting here with a quizzical, furrowed brow on the remote/Italian food thing ;- ) .

[kristen]

Just realized that I have the coffee cups that are pictured here. Starting to see those everywhere lately.

[roro]

FM - Excellent! I think Would You Light My Candle SHOULD be envisioned clearly. Perhaps later next week, we'll do it in front of the webcam.

Syd - You've cracked my ingenius code, Syd. No more dogs farting Christmas carols - at least until we get our dining room table and I can take my show to the "study" down the hall.

HB - Strong choices, both. Perhaps I'll alternate! As for early morning grumpiness - I'm not sure which of us is grumpier in the morning. History will decide.

Lex - Not every day?? WHAT?? That's it, this deal is off! Otherwise, excellent tips. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Kristen - hahahahaaaa! Yeah, we'll see.

Melissa - Oh, we're totally both going to be like Les Nessman with our "office doors". And the coffee date thing is a great idea. And I can't believe Gina Torres got knocked up with consulting me. Where's the love, Gina? I thought what we had was special!

Sparkles - I know. I've got that song in my head still. And you and R MUST be in love - there's no way Katr and I could share a laptop. NO WAY.

Zoe - Do it. Katee will not disappoint. As for feeling me up, that's my position too! Thanks for having my back on that.

Viscount - that is pretty brilliant. I'm working on that long "a" now. And then maybe I'll add "get it? En GAY ged?" 'Cause I'm classy like that.

K-Prime - Ha ha - excellent! And trust me - your roommates will THANK you. There's enough hotness on that show to make EVERYONE happy.

zuhn - dirty. And yet, delightful.

Wenders - It's true - it takes a lot of olive oil to work from home. But once you get that pooch, who knows?

vesper - yes. yes you do.

GM - You're so naughty! That Syd is a bad influence. As for the last point. Italian food? Often cooked in olive oil? The remote? Probably covered in olive oil? Do I need to draw you a picture?

[Lee]

oh my, funny stuff...beaveancee is the perfect term...well done :) I move it become lesbian law

[Flippy]

Congrats on working in sweat pants together at home. My suggestion, after 8 years of almost 24/7 (I worked outside the home, ack, for our first year together), is desks in different rooms. Meet up for meals or snacks. IM for important things like, "What do you want for lunch?" or "Ugh, I got another email from that idiot I was telling you about." Of course, we may have different workspace environment issues - I'm a slob (but organized), and she is tidy & organized.

[roro]

Lee - I second that movement! Man, we need to get some lawyers on this.

Flippy - These are all excellent tips. I see you haven't specified any "feeling up" time in there. I guess that's up to the individual couples to work out.