Creampuff's Latest Obsession

First, I got a little crazy over Neopets. Then (sweet, sweet ear frottage) it was Q-Tips. And my latest, uh, avid interest, is Vancouver's Craig's List apartment listings.

Our current place in Vancouver is in a great location but it's furnished with stuff that isn't ours and it's so small that with two of us creampuffs in there - well, it's almost pornographic. We're pretty excited to actually find an apartment where we can plunk our three remaining pieces of furniture and perhaps get one of these:

The thing is that I've been on the other side of the country for two months now and we can't really look for a place until I'm actually back in the land of "boil water!" advisories and not enough Swiss Chalet. Katr's working ridiculous hours and anyway, it's not the kind of decision you should make without your partner there. So we can't get a new apartment until I get there and it's pointless to look beforehand.

So what am I doing EVERY FIVE MINUTES? I'm looking at Vancouver apartment porn.

At first, I was just looking at apartments we might actually want. In the areas we want, the size we want, in our price range. But then I would see ads for great looking places and I would get a little too excited and start yelling "That's our apartment! That's our apartment!" And then, when I remembered the futility of my search, then would come the weeping.

Once I reconciled myself to never actually getting any of the apartments I was looking at, I started to refer to my "itchy refresh finger" activities as "Research". Which, incidentally, is the name of the folder where I keep my pictures of Gina Torres.

Since it's all a fantasy anyway, I gave up limiting myself and started to look at EVERYTHING. 1 bedrooms, 5 bedrooms. $25/day rooms and $8000/month luxury condos. Basement suites and penthouses. If there's a photo, I'll look at it. And if the photos are of the view instead of the apartment, I yell "That doesn't COUNT!" at the ad. I also yell "That doesn't COUNT!" when they list the apartment as a 2 bedroom and then the ad says "1 bedroom and den that can be USED AS A BEDROOM [emphasis added]". I also yell "Catspiracy!" when they allow cats but not dogs. And then I hit "refresh" again.

I was telling my friend Deye about the apartment porn and she comforted me by not only buying my line about "research", but by telling me that her partner, Grmi, obsessively checked the weather report weeks before their outdoor commitment ceremony. "Why are you checking?" she said to him, "it's not for 10 days!" "I know," he'd reply hysterically, "but I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF."

I'm feeling Grmi's pain. As innocent as I feel this apartment porn surfing is, it's certainly consuming a lot of my time. For instance, I started this post on Friday and it's now Sunday night. I'd like to think that my obsessive apartment porn surfing will lessen in the days to come but we all know that's a lie. It's only going to get worse until we actually get an apartment. And it might continue for awhile after that. Just to make sure we got a good deal and stuff.

Anyway - I'm off to Vancouver on Thursday and the search can begin in earnest. Wish us luck and puppies. And a speedy internet connection. And more pictures of Gina Torres.

Comments

[greymatters]

Ya kvetch about the catspiracy, but will entertain thoughts of the dawgspiracy? Oh. My. ;-)

Travel safely, R!

[The Feminist Mafia]]

Hooray! The reunion is right around the corner. Puppy love heading north for you, but only if you promise to post cute puppy pix.

[Kristen]

Luck and puppies! I don't even know where we are moving next and I am always on MLS "checking out the market" in places that there is even a remoted possibility of being posted. Have a good trip home, wish I was headed that way too!

[wenders]

Uhm, it could get worse. You could keep looking at Craig's List AFTER you've found a new apartment. Not that I would know or anything... what with my move being in less than a week, I should be cleaning or wrestling cardboard boxes or something. Right. (PS. Remember that sometimes you can negotiate on the dog-claus!)

[dawn]

not to unduly encourage your obsession, but if i hadn't broadened my search parameters a little when i was searching craigslist for apartments, i would never have found this one. and i love it. it was priced just a wee tad out of what i thought my range was. but then, when i realized what all was included, i decided to change my range. so, see, your obsession is, in at least a small way, totally legit.

will you please post more pictures of basset hound puppies? i love them soooooooo much.

[roro]

GM - PLEASE. There is no dogspiracy. They're too busy humping your leg to form that kind of coherent plan.

FM - I TOTALLY promise puppy pix, even if (sniff) we can't get one soon.

Kristen - thanks! Glad to know I'm not the only one who obsesses pointlessly about places I will never live. Huzzah!

Wenders - I remember being very inspired by your dog-notiating skillz. Trust me, I'll be slippin' that into the conversations. Although I feel that I've reconciled myself to not getting a dog if we find the most perfect place ever and it's no pets. Except that I'm lying and I really want a dog.

dawn - excellent argument! Man, it's like you're in law school or something. And I love the hounds too! Oh, for a hound . . .

[zoe]

There is nothing wrong with a little obsession like apartment porn, unless it interferes with real porn time. You gotta draw a line somewhere.

[kristen]

Your obsession started me off again, there is a chance we are going to Victoria next year. Anyway, you may have problems looking for a place that allows dogs, apparently we may have the same problem with the kids!!! How many adult only buildings does one city need?!

[k-prime]

My roommate is the SAME way. Our lease isn't up until April, but she's looking for houses now. Sheesh! :P

[roro]

zoe - I hear what you're saying. And I couldn't agree more.

Kristen - that's kinda crazy - I haven't seen any "no kids" buildings in my apartment porn searches. Clearly, Victoria's seniors are finicky!

K-Prime - Hahahahaaa! April?? Now I don't feel so out of control. At least my obsession didn't start until within a few weeks of actual apartment searching. But only because I didn't think of it sooner . . .

[Carry]

I am TOTALLY doing the Craigslist apartment porn too...

We are moving into the city after school is out this year and it's KILLING me to not look, but it's even worse when I find the PERFECT place and know it won't still be available in June :(

Yet I find myself compelled to back and look "just one more time"...maybe it's not porn, but crack???

[HB]

Thankfully, I already have a flat I'm happy with. So only proper porn for me - I'm totally with zoe.

[Heather]

I suffered from MLS-itis when we were looking for houses but by the end of my addiction I was so ill I don't care if i ever see those listings again (until I remember how freaking small our house is). Hope the hunting has been happy and fruitful!

[roro]

Carry - I am SO with you. We should have Craig's List classified as a dangerous narcotic, available for prescription only. Even though we've found our place, I'm still checking the listings. Someone get me some methadone . . .

HB - that's lovely that your flat is working for you. SOMEONE has to keep the proper porn industry afloat - good on you.

Heather - MLS-itis - we suffered a bit of that when we were first moving here. But then we realized that we couldn't afford to buy here unless we won the lottery. Ha ha! Sigh . . .